Lindsay Lohan is cold, possibly literate

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Lindsay Lohan was spotted in New York with her nipples poking through her shirt and carrying around the book A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One for Every Girl Who Wants to Build One. Although it could’ve been The Cat in the Hat and she probably wouldn’t have noticed. “Lindsay, dear, that’s the wrong book.” Then she’d respond, “What are you talking about? It says right here on the cover: blabbidy blobbidy.” Then everybody would give each other concerned looks as Lindsay stared furiously at the cover, desperately trying to figure out the word ‘cat’.

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