CONFIRMED: Lindsay Lohan is a porn star

May 5th, 2010 // 53 Comments

Seen here in the “Illegal” Machete trailer (after the jump), The LA Times has confirmed Lindsay Lohan will play Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace in an upcoming film about the 70s porn scene:

We’ve all thought that Lindsay would be a great choice for a while now, and we’re all convinced that she is going to do it,” Razaqi said. “For at least a year, the director [Matthew Wilder] and I have gone back and forth imagining how awesome of a performance she could give if she was in the movie.”
“I would say it’s probably one of the most challenging roles any actor could play — and not because of the sexual content, necessarily — but more because she was so battered and beat up emotionally, that I think it’s gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off,” he said. “Not that Lindsay’s life is similar in any way — but she’s been through a lot of ups and downs. A lot of times you’re loved and then you’re hated, and I think she can relate to those emotions and feelings. One week she’s the ‘it’ girl, and the next, she’s the ‘what are you doing?’ girl.”

I love how the producers are aware everyone just assumes Lindsay landed this role because she practically has one foot in the door of doing porn. In fact, I’ll be amazed if they actually made her audition and didn’t just find her out back trying to fellate an eclair for coke money. “Why is this deliciously not working? C’mon!

Photos: YouTube
superficial

  1. first

    FIRST!

  2. Janna

    Hahahahaha.

  3. Danklin24

    Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba in the same movie? Oh boy! This shit should win an Oscar.

  4. Randal

    There’s a very large cast in this collection of stars and Lindsay shines just as bright as any of them. Lindsay has that cute and adorable beauty wrapped in a naughty nun outfit as she pulls on guns and shoots bullets.

    This is exactly the rough and tough role she’s wanted for awhile. Congratulations girl, you’ve already made Machete a hit!

    Randal

  5. Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

    FIRST!!!
    In line to see this flick.
    Finally the mystery over “carpet and drapes” matching will be revealed.
    Unless she shaves, oh, she better not shave.

  6. ellie

    I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Ephae

    Wasn’t Linda Lovelace in a beastiality movie?

  8. The Dude

    Anything that LiLo is in, by definition, is a bestiality movie.

  9. Urbanspaceman

    This movie will be a whitewash, Linda-as-a-victim fraud. Don’t expect to see Lilo nude in it.

  10. Nate

    Name a celeb that hasn’t played a hooker or a stripper once or twice in there film career. Playing a porn star is no different.

  11. Mike Nike

    That’s fucked up Yo!!!! Everyone knows lesbians don’t suck cock. I mean if she was in a movie about eating butch muff maybe.

  12. salsa

    Lindsey would make a GREAT pornstar!

  13. Vandal

    I choked Linda Lovelace …

  14. King Kong Dong

    Is she going to suck dick? I would like to see that.

  15. Alan N.

    This is another one of those non-stories. They don’t actually have the financing for this movie and it’ll probably never get made. They keep floating names to see if there’s someone or some entity willing to give them the probably 1 or 2 million more they need. This same story has been printed before about this movie. Until Jennifer Aniston agrees to play Linda Lovelace, it’s not getting made.

  16. Pat C.

    I’ll bet it’s actually a real porn movie; they’re just telling Lindsey it’s a Linda Lovelace biopic so she’ll allow them to film all the explicit sex scenes.

  17. Chloe Sevigny & Brown Bunny, you’ll soon have nothing on Lohan and 3 guys pounding her holes.

  18. KIKI

    Was Lovelace a milkaholic too? I don’t get the connection.

  19. Lilos meatflap butcher

    she wont show any kitty in this flick, but a girl-on-girl-on-girl with Lilo, Alba, and Rodriguez would beat fuckawesome

  20. I love this movie as a commercial… as a full-on movie, though, I’m not so sure. Also, I wish people would stop paying Lohan to be in stuff…

  21. Tek

    I agree with #15. They’ve been throwing names around for years and still nothing. My guess is that IF it gets made it’ll go straight to DVD, unrated. Why unrated? Cuz if Lindsay still plans on having a career in film she’ll have to suck dick on camera ala Chloe Sevigny in Brown Bunny. Otherwise it’ll just be another I Know Who Killed Me… and that was a disaster.

  22. Tek

    Oh yeah, god damn Robert Rodriguez movies suck! As if Miley’s video didn’t make me feel dumb enough, I feel like a complete retard after watching that shit!

  23. Fuckin, beaners

    Fuckin’ mexploitation beanerfest. I’d rather go watch that human ass to mouth centipied “movie” than this.

  24. Rex Kramer-Danger Seeker

    Town bike: The Firecrotch story.

  25. El Mexicano

    mexicano mi culo, ese danny trejo es de california USA

  26. This film will be great movie.I am waiting for this film I wan see her in porn star role.

  27. Ein Sonnenkollektor oder auch Solarkollektor ist eine Vorrichtung zur Sammlung der im Sonnenlicht enthaltenen Energie. Traditionell steht die Bezeichnung für einen thermischen Solarkollektor, der mit der ,,eingefangenen” Sonnenenergie ein Übertragungsmedium (Heizwasser) aufheizt, wobei nahezu das gesamte Strahlungsspektrum des Sonnenlichtes in thermischen Solaranlagen mit relativ hohem Wirkungsgrad ausgenutzt wird. Vorrichtungen zur Gewinnung von elektrischer Energie in Photovoltaikanlagen werden dagegen als Solarmodule bezeichnet.

  28. ? _ ? ? .o ?
    _?_ ? ???????
    ? ? /?\/?\ _ ? __ ? _ ““““““““““““““““““““

    Fist,
    Tell you a story, used to have mountains, hills have temple, the temple has a monk. . .
    then,
    go to my home
    They are SEXY, GORGEOUS and FUN.

  29. billabong021

    That trailer isn’t the proper Machete trailer, it’s included a bunch of latino actors in protest of the Arizona laws, and um, Jessica Alba cause well, she’s always free for stuff like this.

  30. captain america

    when you’re broke & jobless the choice to be a prostitute is made easy.
    AT LEAST SHE CAN SAY SHE IS HIRED FOR SOMETHING, folks!!

  31. Pica te culo, I’m going to do ass to mouth on tu hermanita.

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  33. It seems great movie, really interesting. Really want to watch this movie.
    Surely this role will be very challenging for her. I’m not so sure about this movie will be hit or flop.

  34. BassAckwards

    @31 FINALLY, someone gets it!! Good Job!!!

    These other posters are OBVIOUSLY morons if they believe this is an actual movie trailer…..If it’s about Linda Lovelace, the PORN STAR, then why all the Mexicans??? HELLO???? She was in movies, not in Mexicans…..

    This is just another over-reaction by Hollywood Liberals sticking their nose into business that a) they know nothing about; b) are too pseudo “angry” over too actually READ THE BILL and learn the truth of, and c) probably got some cash under the table )at least for 1 or 2) to lend their “star power” to.

    It’s pathetic that Hollywood ALWAYS seems to be on the left. Arizona is doing just what it needs to do to protect itself. Thousands of illegals cross into Arizona weekly, some of them are dangerous drug dealers and criminals, preying on the people of Arizona as well as California. I know this to be fact, and while living in southern San Diego, had to deal with the massive illegal alien problem first hand. My neighbor actually had one run through his HOME, because he was being chased by Border Patrol! People should be so quick to judge Arizona, until they lived in their shoes. Most of you probably never have to deal with this problem, but for those who do, I say Godspeed. Lord knows the US Govt will never do anything to protect you. Besides, for those who may oppose the Arizona law, to you I’d say read the US Govt law on this matter. You’ll find that the Arizona law is pretty much a mirror image of that law, ONLY it makes it more difficult for Police Officers to stop and question individuals in regards to their citizenship.

    Protect yourself people, stay involved in your country, don’t just leave it to the beauracrats in Washington, they’ll screw you every time…..Just look at our new healthcare….it’s already proving to be just the opposite of what they said it would be.

  35. Capt Paul

    Rule number 1 for porn stars, look good naked. Coke Ho violates rule 1.

  36. Rhialto

    I doubt if she’s able to play this role.I’d rather see her behind bars.

  37. cellphone

    Yikes! Kinda hard to place her in the sexual context! That would be the same as Danny Devito playing the Terminator!

  38. Nero

    A toothless,alcoholic,lesbian,crack whore.That’s serious boner material folks.

  39. bimbamboing

    I’ll guess her hairy cooter did it for her on audition.

  40. fatguyinalittleshirt

    Li nda Lo velace = LiLo

    it was her density to play this role.

  41. Jessiesgirl

    Fuck I thought at first that was Madonna in the nun picture. She looks soooo old, about 60.

  42. missywiss

    how old is this girl??? why would anybody hire her with all the demons that posses her? Does Hollywood really kill their own? That’s sad.

  43. i guess this is just sarcastic.

  44. I still think she is just a dead star

  45. m65

    haha very nice

  46. dont judge til we actually see the movie

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