Lindsay Lohan is a shitty cat burglar

May 9th, 2008 // 66 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s penchant for clothing-related kleptomaniacism was revealed when she allegedly stole a fur coat at a night club. Now, another woman has come forward and claims Lindsay wiped out her closet. Model Lauren Hastings, Shia LeBeouf’s girlfriend, posted a video (after the jump) on her website detailing Lindsay’s grand theft halter-tops. Apparently five witnesses saw Lindsay in Lauren’s closet handing a bodyguard stacks of clothing, according to Inside Edition:

INSIDE EDITION has obtained documents from the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office, confirming that Hastings reported the theft of her clothing. But the DA’s office declined to prosecute Lohan, citing insufficient evidence.
“I contacted Lindsay and said, ‘Look, I know you stole my clothes.’ She then said I was completely delusional, I was pathetic,” Hastings said.

However, Dina Lohan is denying Lindsay’s a thief and recently told Inside Edition that the fur coat incident is a lie:

A disgusted Dina Lohan says it’s not true, her daughter Lindsay never stole a blond mink coat.
“I talked to Lindsay, we were laughing hysterically on the phone…I mean really, it’s silly,” Dina told INSIDE EDITION.

Okay, considering Lindsay was raised by Michael and Dina, stealing clothes is really a best case scenario. I mean, it could be way worse. I’m just surprised we haven’t find out she was the mastermind behind 9/11. Or even worse: Wrote the scripts for the Star Wars prequels. Someone needs to answer for Jar-Jar, LiLo.

Photo: Splash News, Video: Buzznet

  1. veggi

    FIRST you stinking cunthole smegma gobblers

  2. The White Urkle

    Say what ever you want, she has nice tits.

  3. Miss Pritchard

    Are you trying to say that she lacks skill as a cat burglar, or that she resembles a cat covered in shit when she burgles?

  4. gossipmonger

    Too bad that by the time she hits 30, they’ll be sagging lower than her navel.. that’ll be attractive… not…
    I’ll stick with my small, perky breasts, thanks… 38 and they still sit where they should be…

  5. gossipmonger

    My last comment was directed to The White Urkle – May 9, 2008 1:58 PM
    (Say what ever you want, she has nice tits)

  6. ZoomBoy

    Fuck Hollywood, I’d go on a murderous rampage if I had cronies like that “warning me” lmao.

  7. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp.

  8. Jumpin_J

    I believe Dina Lohan. C’mon guys, she just one the Middling Mom award f ew days ago. I mean that she’s the frickin equivalent of Mother Theresa for cryin out loud. The only thing Lindsay could ever steal is my heart.

    (okay, even I vomited when I wrote that).

  9. Veroonica

    Good God! Shave your pits, you has-been skank!

  10. viv

    does that video seem rehearsed or something?
    she seems…odd…but a lot better looking/normal then lindsay or nicole

  11. Lindsay LoWHO?

    Lindsay is a piece of shit. TRASH THIEVING WHORE!

  12. ali

    miss pritchard, that’s exactly what i was wondering.
    i like jar jar binks superfish, and i’m pretty sure i’m the only person in the world who likes him. does that mean i’m not allowed go to stars wars conventions? it’s only pity liking though. i mean jar jar just seems so…alone.

  13. Auntie Kryst

    She’s starting to resemble Dana Plato, in appearance and deeds..

  14. Th superficial commentor called herbiefrog is THE Lindsay Lohan

    The gall of those heinous Lohan bitches is fucking sickening. “Laughing hysterically”, those revolting fucking cunts, there is photographic evidence that the bitch jacked the mink. I certainly believe that she stole the models clothes too, that’s exactly what crack whore bitches do. Man I cannot wait to watch this bitch crumble and her fucking hideous mother too, she is racking up so much Karma debt and when it all finally comes back to her it will be like nothing you have EVER seen before. Folks start buying your popcorn because when the Lindsay Lohan FULL ON TRAINWRECK/LIFE UP IN FLAMES finally happens there won’t be a kernel to be found. Nothing that has happened to her so far is remotely comparable to what is yet to come. With all the dangerous, negligent and illegal things she does and the fact that her day to day life is documented makes it a scientific certainty that buttloads of shit are going to hittteth the fan, on top of that people are really gunning for her to have an all out explosive plummet to rock bottom, when the pap, the public and Hollywood decide that someone is meant to self destruct they WILL all collectively make it happen. That is the upside of fame, it usually comes crashing down and leaves you face first in a smorgasbord of fattening Karma. Her demise is coming…

  15. Chupacabra

    Wow~! Lilo really IS a mean girl!!!

    I think that girl Lauren is wearing clear braces, or has a tongue-thrust lisp.

    But, seriously, who needs friends when you’ve got thieving house-sitters.

  16. Stan

    #14 – relax, you fucking loser. The point is to try to write a funny comment, not a raving piece of gibberish that only shows that, lacking a real life, you take all of this way too seriously.

  17. #2

    If you mean by the complete lack of nipples, yes, I guess she does.

  18. sarrah

    why did she need someone to house sit? Why isn’t she pissed at the person who was supposed to be watching her house? If I was her I’d get a good lawyer. I’m glad i’m not famous, hollywood sounds like high school but more hellish.

  19. LiLo

    It’s like Lilo is that girl Parker Posey played in “Party Girl.” Stealing rich girl’s clothes. Don’t they know LiLo snorted all her money up already?

  20. Pete

    I would love to lick every freckle on her body. Including, and especially, the ones on her ass.

  21. tanya

    White. Trash.

  22. mimi

    OMG… would you catch up with the WORLD Fish-Gutz?

  23. Th superficial commentor called herbiefrog is THE Lindsay Lohan

    #16. Lindsay try to use more creative names than ‘Stan” (your manager who you fuck for roles) .

    Gibberish?? I guess it is “gibberish” for mentally retarded fucks who can’t read for the rest of us, it’s English with some slang thrown in. Actually a lot of people find the karma this bitch has coming pretty fucking hilarious.

  24. Wim

    Perhaps she steals stuff from the litter box…

  25. lazarus

    That Lauren Hastings story is over a year old and the court found her claims about Lohan “without merit” long ago. Must be a slow news Friday

  26. lazarus

    That Lauren Hastings story is over a year old and the court found her claims about Lohan “without merit” long ago. Must be a slow news Friday

  27. stink in my pants

    Lindsay is such a blond wannabe. Her skin is fucking hideous, she’s CLEARLY embarassed by her freckles and she has the ugliest dumpy chub legs on the planet, which is why she is always sporting those black leggings for the slimmin affect. Sadly a montage of Lindsay in her tights looks similar to extra large sausage franks shoved into the fingers of a black glove. Her belly has the look of a plump sausage too, especially those non-cooked ones because they look all freckled just like the whore does. it’s funny that she’s all “I’m LINDSAY LOHAN” Ya we know you are bitch and it ain’t a fucking good thing. Everyone is laughing AT you.

  28. Hollywood is filth

    Whatever “lazarus” also known as Lindsay’s P.R. rep. Lindsay ‘smoney bought a “without merit” ruling. Money makes merit go bye, bye.

  29. Sasha

    This is old news. Lindsay robbed her like a year ago. That’s when Nicole Richie was a bitch to her about it, too. I wonder how she feels now that that skank tried to steal something from one of her dear friends. The sad thing is I believe Dina when she says those psychos were laughing about it over the phone.

  30. Wow..WooooHoooo. I;m Wasted. Fuck this Linsdssy chick. my face is numb and i;m seeing double. Amen

    aWHooo hooo

  31. Ronansoni

    She’s a full-out, 100% insane psycho sex-and-drugs nympho. A perfect Saturday night hook up (of course you’d wear a condom, when don’t you???), especially when you’re bored. Naturally you can’t be gay or a fat girl (so that rules out 99.99% of you).

  32. veggi

    Sweet! I was first!! And my vulgar vocabulary is outstanding!! Cheers troll..

    FRIST!!! Quit lurking and post something. I’m bored.. Auntie? Jimbo? Ted? Bunny? Where are the lunatics?? Anexio??

  33. Stan

    #23 – that’s even worse. Did she steal something from you? Otherwise, who cares about her or any other celebrity, except somebody who can’t tell the difference between real life and entertainment?

  34. Stan

    “the karma this bitch has coming”

    lmao. You have no idea what “karma” means. Take a chill pill, psycho.

  35. restingonlaurels

    jeez, 23, calm down, you’re stressing me out!

  36. How did you know I was lurking??????????? Are you stalking me veggi??

    Actually I had to WORK for like an hour straight (go figure, huh?) and just now I was reading the comments and shaking my head a lot.

    Then I was thinking how Wynona Ryder steals shit and she’s probably got money to pay for it too, but Lindsay is such a pathetic loser that instead of stealing from Saks or whatever a high priced store is called (I wouldn’t know) she steals out of people’s closets. GROSS, used clothes, why doesn’t she just steal from Goodwill??

  37. bakinmycake

    I not sure if she has a face anymore

  38. Sasha

    I’m tired of these ugly people. It’s about time for a Kim Kardashian post.

  39. Slushy

    i agree, with tits like those take what ever you want!!

  40. Auntie Kryst

    @38 I agree with you. It’s time for a new post. Fish, certainly Kim K. stole something too or did some other fucked up thing today, right??

  41. Yeah Auntie, I lent her my credit card and the bitch never gave it back!!

  42. @36 – no no no no no (no), that’s what makes Lindsay special, in all senses of the word. The only antisocial behavior she’s interested in involves directly fucking over (or just fucking) somebody else, like commandeering a car and speeding like a raging maniac after your just-fired assistant. It’s always very personal. All she does is make bad movies and bad albums (hey, everybody needs a job), she skips the extras (clothing lines, perfumes, dolls), so that she has enough time to say FUCK YOU to specific people in her life, in as many ways as she possibly can, all of which sound like they happened in a completely fucked up movie that would actually be fun to watch. How can you not love that (from afar)?

  43. Geh…that actually reminds me of someone I knew in high school..

  44. nick hogan is a killer

    lol, this redneck fails at everything she does. the parents should not be allowed to walk free in this country. they belong in prison.

  45. Champ

    I wish the whole Lohan family would just DIAF.

  46. dude_on_a_wire

    Yes #2 – her tits continue to make her relevant.

    She should avoid any straight forward shot if possible (for her face). The tits however are just adored by the camera – from any angle.

  47. Nah

    What are you all smoking? Lilo is the classiest woman of all time. I would marry her.

    And go motorboatin’ all day, every day.

  48. robes

    in the second paragraph I think there may be a typo…it says “a disgusted Dina Lohan” I think they it was supposed to say “a disgusting Dina Lohan” to be more accurate.

  49. Tyler Durden

    #47. That is the funniest shiot I have ever heard IN MY LIFE. Classiest? FUCK NO. Classy even? Hells no. Bitch has nothin’ but tits, bitches who have nothin’ but tits to offer are always trashy whores. She a common whore nothing less nothing more, here for our mocking pleasure. She’s nothing but a classless fuck up. But man is she fucking entertaining, she’s the biggest joke on the planet next Paris Hilton. God I hope she’s barren, thanks to all that coke she probably is.

    P.S. Tyler Durden would not do Lindsay Lohan, unless doing means punching her in the ovaries, because Tyler Durden would definitely punch Blohan in her lohvaries.

  50. jesus


    Who on earth cares about what she looks like at 30? That would be like me trying to pick which Whole Food salad looks the best, when choosing only from those four days past the expiration date. Jeez… People even have sex with 38 year olds?

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