Lindsay Lohan in a bikini

Here’s Lindsay Lohan poolside at the Sunset Marquis earlier in the week for a photo shoot where I assume they’ll use some sort of NASA supercomputer to airbrush her five billion freckles. I tried to edit a few out on my computer only to have it flip me the finger before bursting into flames. But then how am I writing this, you ask? Telepathy. That’s right, folks, I can project my every thought onto the site. MEN. That was a typo. BURLY MEN. Quick, somebody wrap tinfoil around my head. TIN MEN. Sonofabitch!