Lindsay Lohan: ‘I’ll prove I’m innocent!’

Because the truth is nothing but a dick to suck for coke or some other relevant metaphor, Lindsay Lohan’s still maintaining she didn’t drink any alcohol despite her SCRAM bracelet alerting the court to five violations on Sunday night. RadarOnline reports:

After a crazy day of emergency court room sessions, accusations and 11th hour bail postings, she told exclusively: “I’m well, working to get proof that I did not tamper with the bracelet or drink.”
She went on to say that “these accusations are completely false.”

With her own lawyer confirming the SCRAM report showed the presence of a “small amount of alcohol,” exactly what kind of proof is Lindsay hoping to find? It’s not like she’s goddamn Sherlock Holmes examining a crime scene for evidence.

LINDSAY: By jove, what have we here? A bobby pin perched precariously under the cheese table. Surely, this proves there was no imbibing of spirits the night in question. Watson, to Scotland Yard!
LAWYER: …. I want to be paid upfront now.

Photos: WENN