Lindsay Lohan: ‘I’ll prove I’m innocent!’

June 9th, 2010 // 29 Comments

Because the truth is nothing but a dick to suck for coke or some other relevant metaphor, Lindsay Lohan’s still maintaining she didn’t drink any alcohol despite her SCRAM bracelet alerting the court to five violations on Sunday night. RadarOnline reports:

After a crazy day of emergency court room sessions, accusations and 11th hour bail postings, she told exclusively: “I’m well, working to get proof that I did not tamper with the bracelet or drink.”
She went on to say that “these accusations are completely false.”

With her own lawyer confirming the SCRAM report showed the presence of a “small amount of alcohol,” exactly what kind of proof is Lindsay hoping to find? It’s not like she’s goddamn Sherlock Holmes examining a crime scene for evidence.

LINDSAY: By jove, what have we here? A bobby pin perched precariously under the cheese table. Surely, this proves there was no imbibing of spirits the night in question. Watson, to Scotland Yard!
LAWYER: …. I want to be paid upfront now.

Photos: WENN

  1. Que

    Que obnoxious.

  2. Taz

    She should be locked up

  3. IbePiglet

    Right. She has the only faulty SCRAM bracelet out there. She’s a pathetic spoiled bitch who never learned to accept responsibility for her own actions. Boo-hoo. You drank, even though you were told not to. You got caught. You lie. But we all know that.

  4. Is that Kurt Cobain’s flannel? Maybe now Lindsay will put out that grunge album that people have been so longing for.

  5. She kind of looks like Jon Gosselin in that first pic.

  6. Lerxt

    If proving your innocence means going around braless then I’m all for it…

  7. n

    does the SCRAM not allow collagen? her lips are looking normal for once — she’s got a ‘bow’

  8. ladnaR

    Don’t worry Lindsay darling, the Industry will protect you. Your are an old soul actress in a fresh young body waiting, like a supernova, to explode again and spread your cosmic radiance all over the silver screen.


  9. n

    o snap, nevermind. She probably can’t afford it after posting all that bail. (hmm……..lips or booze, lips or booze. decisions………..)

  10. Champ

    Just further proof that she thinks she can lie her way through life because she is a ‘star.’

    muhahahahaha. Lock her down.

  11. Dread not

    If Lindsay says she didn’t drink, she didn’t drink. Though she never said she didn’t SNORT any alcohol, or do eye shots of vodka. Just like an addict to play the semantics game.

  12. Captain_Insano

    What a useless cunt.

  13. Didja

    “With her own lawyer confirming the SCRAM report showed the presence of a “small amount of alcohol,” exactly what kind of proof is Lindsay hoping to find?”

    Superficial dude, don’t forget this is the girl who thought she could outsmart a judge.

  14. Karin

    Throw her ass in jail and please lose the key. I think we all had enough of her.

  15. arealcad

    She doesn’t need to prove her innocence, the District Attorney’s office needs to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt to a jury or judge (if she decides to wave a jury of her peers) during the trial.

    If it actually gets that far.

    This has been a public service brought to you by every civics teacher you ever had in high school – we now return you to the regularly scheduled snarking, already in progress.

  16. Eric

    I’ll send you $1000.00 if you stop running stories and pictures of this train wreck.

    You’re a bigger fucking media whore than she is, so that $1000.00 is safe.

  17. bar room hero

    I’d hit this drunken slag hard, but I’d probably need a drum of industrial strength lube…

    hard drinking slags sometimes get a bad case of PBP (peanut butter pussy)

  18. I have nothing to say about this except she needs to be beaten like a red headed step child by Jamie Spears.

    What I do have to say is that it’s 10:37am and I haven’t jerked off yet. I think I must be sick or something or maybe the neighbor boys assfucking themselves silly for the last two nights has left me sleep deprived.

    I really need to break open that fresh tub of Crisco and just get on with it whether I want to or not. After all, this is my life.



  19. boo

    Mitch, you kind of disgust me, yet you often make me laugh.

  20. dude

    lmao @mitch its not just u, that damn gaga post took the boing out out of my ruler..

    say what u will ppl but most of you would do lindsay, admit it. if she came on to you in a bar ud just say ewww? or sprint to the nearest condom machine! oh shit, do i need to cough up an 8ball to tap it? thats proly real expensivelike.. but hey you don’t have to buy her a drink!

  21. Stephen

    Maybe someone just spilled a drink on her. That would set it off right?

  22. Anonymous

    @15 you are an idiot. The SCRAM report is proof enough to revoke her bail which is what this is about. Just about anything can revoke bail; bail is not something you automatically receive just because you can pay for it.

    You don’t hold a full trial over whether or not you can post bail.

  23. Steve

    Well it did say a “small amount of alcohol”, that should be proof enough. We should know she can’t drink just one, right?

  24. She's the new OJ

    Is it just me, or is her arrogant & idiotic assertion that “she’s working hard to find out the truth” beginning to sound like OJ Simpson’s lying claims that he was “working hard to find Nicole’s killer”?

  25. Pam

    LMFAO Peanut butter pussy? I have never heard that before! Thats funny

  26. Robert Paulson

    Ok, I confess.
    Lindsey and I were “being intimate”.
    I was the one drinking.
    I completed inside and, well some of my
    “drunk spunk” must have dripped onto her scram
    bracelet. Sorry.

  27. Bill West

    I was washing the coke off Lindsey’s feet with Purell, I guess the alcohol set off the alarm. We’ll be careful not to let it happen again.

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  29. Ednonymous

    Hang the bitch.

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