Lindsay Lohan will be working in a morgue as part of her punishment for misdemeanor drunken driving. Lindsay’s lawyer outlined the plans for her current program yesterday, according to the Associated Press:
Her two four-hour days at the morgue are part of a court-ordered program to show drivers the real-life consequences of drinking and driving. She must also spend two days working in a hospital emergency room.
Okay, the morgue I can understand. Those people are already dead, so there’s no real sense of urgency. The ER on the other hand, I dunno. I think Lindsay will be more of a distraction: “Quick, get this man 20 cc’s of, uh, breasts. No, wait, that’s not right. 20 cc’s of, uh, round luscious cleavage! Sonofa–Miss Lohan, could you please stop leaning over the patients with your human defibrillator pads? Hey, wait, this guy’s heart started beating…”
kush | January 18, 2008 at 11:03 am
FIRST BITCHES
Metmeonce | January 18, 2008 at 11:04 am
Scoll down until you can only see her from the neck down in the first pic and ya think yeah i’d hit that scroll up..and eh..I’ll pass….
First bitches ?
kananga | January 18, 2008 at 11:04 am
First!
FAKE | January 18, 2008 at 11:04 am
Lohan’s boobs are fake:
http://www.celebrityplasticpics.com/linsday_lohan_plastic_surgery.htm
A | January 18, 2008 at 11:05 am
she is pretty nasty
proteon | January 18, 2008 at 11:06 am
FIFTH ASSHOLES
Shallow Val | January 18, 2008 at 11:06 am
WHAT-Everrrrrr!
Metmeonce | January 18, 2008 at 11:07 am
This is a perfect example of when a paper bag over the head is the only way to go…
D. Richards (Saint.) | January 18, 2008 at 11:11 am
How poetic would it be for Lindsey to be working under the same coroner that, after Lohan’s death, is the pathologist who does her autopsy?!
That would be so rad!
digdug | January 18, 2008 at 11:11 am
Will she be working on Brit?
Anonymous | January 18, 2008 at 11:12 am
Hey Dating Website Troll:
Hi there, I’m a loser with no life. I’m paid $3.50 per hour to post idiotic drivel, directing you to some lame dating website that takes your money and gives you nothing in return. I have no job, so I sit around all day and post this garbage on as many websites as I can under many different aliases. I don’t have any friends, so I must rely on these moronic posts to make myself feel better about myself. My mother hates me and dropped me on my head as a child. You can find me at I’mAnIdiotTrollWithNoLifeAndShouldBeKilled.com
I heard Jamie Lynn Spears met her older man, I mean match, at this site.
Richromances.com and all those other fucking dating sites that get spammed around here are all registered to this asshole. Du Qiang ecomfun@aol.com 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States 650-906-0405
JustBuzzed | January 18, 2008 at 11:13 am
She is so pale right now that if she leans over a patient they might thing the are going towards “the light” and go towards it only to get a cold sore instead of heaven.
http://theunsoberlife.com
Anonym...annoying | January 18, 2008 at 11:14 am
Anonymous = as annoying as the dating website trolls. What, you have that on some word document and copy/paste it EVERY chance you get? Pathetic.
noneyobeezwax | January 18, 2008 at 11:16 am
better be careful sending a know sex addict to work in the morgue. a bunch of stiffies with no way to fight back is a recipe for disaster.
i know, it’s gross, but fuck it – she would
The Office Whore | January 18, 2008 at 11:19 am
awesome. glad to see spandex is making a come back..
anonymousryan | January 18, 2008 at 11:20 am
Dammit. For half of a second I thought Lindsay Lohan was dead and it was the happiest I’ve been in months…
James | January 18, 2008 at 11:20 am
Well, she could come to my morgue anytime …
Lullaby | January 18, 2008 at 11:21 am
She has coke face again…..
#12 Nice! | January 18, 2008 at 11:21 am
Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
You fucking freak.
leatherdaddy | January 18, 2008 at 11:21 am
i was thinking the same thing as #12. i waked up in a sheer state of terror if she was breathing over me. im not about getting a std, vd, or any other disease she may be carrying…even if she looked like she was in her prime. she looks used and beaten up lately.
Geedo the Dead | January 18, 2008 at 11:25 am
I’m the guy that published the D.A.’s direct phone number… I would not have asked for this as a punishment.
Is this a little attention whoring on his part?
imagination | January 18, 2008 at 11:27 am
Oh sure. Drug rehab and the confrontation of all those facts had such a profound influence on her that this morgue thing and ER thing will turn her around on those issues, too. Right.
Unless, of course, she’s a narcissistic, drug-addicted, spoiled bimbo who has gotten by this far (thank you very much) by ignoring the advice of others and just following whatever self-destructive impulse has come to her microscopically-sized little mind.
That said, she’s got a great rack…
Auntie Kryst | January 18, 2008 at 11:28 am
Formaldehyde is a good preservative. Lindsay take note.
digdug | January 18, 2008 at 11:29 am
Garp
Garp bit bonkers
Spazz | January 18, 2008 at 11:29 am
Very nice below the vacant dome.
Nurse this | January 18, 2008 at 11:30 am
I wonder how long it will take Lindsay to palm the key to the drug cabinet in the ER?
LL | January 18, 2008 at 11:34 am
I’m guessing the judge or whoever thinks working at the morgue and ER will scare Lohan “straight.” Maybe he should send Britney to a truck stop parking lot to see what happens to stupid women who have no skills besides showing their cooz.
Won’t work, anyway. Junkies and drunks and attention whores are like that for a reason. They never learn. They just get old and pathetic and bitter. I’m kinda looking forward to bitter Britney. I bet she’s way more amusing than drunk and stupid Britney.
The Beer Baron | January 18, 2008 at 11:34 am
While in the morgue, she’s going to try sipping on the embalming fluid for a quick pick-me-up.
what up haterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz | January 18, 2008 at 11:34 am
All you losers r stupid an dumb. Linds is really tryin. She iz a good actor and just got dealt a rough hand in life. So back off haterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
T.O.W. | January 18, 2008 at 11:38 am
I like to think that dress is an open back dress….. and her left arm is her back…… which gives her a very strange boxy look. Why is it amuzing? Probably cause I’m fucking hung the fuck over.. Don’t judge me.
Erica | January 18, 2008 at 11:39 am
30th bitches!
Seriously, why do you all care what number you are?
That just proves you have ABSOLUTELY NO LIFE that you can just sit here and hit refresh until they post a new article.
Get back to work kiddos.
steve | January 18, 2008 at 11:39 am
The judge knew what he was doing when he made ER work part of her sentence – put the people where they can use their skills:
“There have been rare reports of prolonged erections greater than 4 hours and priapism (painful erections greater than 6 hours in duration) for drugs such as Cialis. Priapism, if not treated promptly, can result in irreversible damage to the erectile tissue. Patients who have an erection lasting greater than 4 hours, whether painful or not, should seek emergency medical attention.”
Antonio Leiva | January 18, 2008 at 11:39 am
She’ll be very happy at the morgue: plenty of stiff ones for her to try on.
Antonio Leiva | January 18, 2008 at 11:40 am
She’ll be very happy at the morgue: plenty of stiff ones for her to try on.
Anonymous | January 18, 2008 at 11:43 am
“Anonymous = as annoying as the dating website trolls. What, you have that on some word document and copy/paste it EVERY chance you get? Pathetic.”
Damn right, asshole. Go fuck yourself. YOU are probably the fucking troll, prick.
Cap'n Pickles | January 18, 2008 at 11:44 am
Pretty hot bod for a 40 year old. Wonder how dried out her hoo-ha is by now.
@35 | January 18, 2008 at 11:48 am
No, I’m not, but I am sick of your simple, same boring retort to the spammers.
Elise | January 18, 2008 at 11:51 am
I think Lindsey looks so pretty in this picture– I mean I wouldn’t wear a dress that tight but atleast her ass cheeks aren’t falling out… pretty gross she has to work with dead bods though
Elise | January 18, 2008 at 11:52 am
I think Lindsey looks so pretty in this picture– I mean I wouldn’t wear a dress that tight but atleast her ass cheeks aren’t falling out… pretty gross she has to work with dead bods though
RichPort | January 18, 2008 at 11:59 am
The morgue? Isn’t that what guys that fuck her refer to her hoo hah as… the morgue?
#11 – Yea, I said it the other day, your info was helpful like the first 4 or 500 times… now it’s just another thing to skip over.
D. Richards (Hands.) | January 18, 2008 at 12:01 pm
#29? Maybe you could describe to everyone what ‘rough hand’ Lindsey was dealt by life?
This should be great fun for everyone to read.
Anonymous | January 18, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Hey #37:
Tough shit. I don’t care if you’re tired of it. I’ll stop when the Dating Website Troll goes away. Until then…..deal with it.
RichPort | January 18, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Great… now we have the troll and the anti-troll.
cold shot | January 18, 2008 at 12:14 pm
There’s no moderating anymore, just a bot that doesn’t let you type of words like n*gger. Spam trolls are here to stay. There’s no point in “battling” them. This site’s on autopilot until the server dies.
I'm not THAT stupid.... | January 18, 2008 at 12:21 pm
29 – I don’t like to go there and fly the racial flag but its writing like yours that is the main reason why people hate ghetto blacks, including the white and latino ones that talk with that inflection.
I don’t care because you’re just going to do it more and more; you’ll probably come back with another ghetto-style rant and call us all crackers. Hey, whatever works for you, y’know.
I just wanted to put it in writing. It’s hard to love everybody when some of the everybodies just want to be ingnorant ghetto assholes, and for no other reason than to aggravate others.
Grow up.
RichPort | January 18, 2008 at 12:22 pm
You’re right… n!gg@ and @ll@h get blocked… weird…
Cracka ass crackas…
Shallow Val | January 18, 2008 at 12:26 pm
46 – LOL!!!!!
RichPort | January 18, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Oddly, I had no idea that #45 would be flying the whiteboy flag when I wrote cracka ass crackas… I am a clairvoyant. And ghetto talk is just a dialect of English, like any of the regional accents in this country with its own parlance and change of word meanings. Some white folks will look for any reason to not like “ghetto blacks, including the white and latino ones that talk with that inflection.”
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTZ
Lindsay's Anal Ooze | January 18, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Q: How witty can a 10 year old be?
A: As witty as their vocabulary will let them
I would think if someone was the first to comment on a story, they would, at least, have something to say besides “Duhh – First” ….. Your vocabulary is quite extensive. What a true wit you are kush. Anyone would be amazed at your lengthy ramblings, the enormousness of your wording and the sentence structure you show when you write about Lindsay Lohan. It’s like you REALLY KNOW her ! What does your girl (if you’re that old) think of you being first? How’s that whole “first” thing workin out for HER? HAHAHAHAHA ……………
D. Richards (Meaningless.) | January 18, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Hey, #45? #29 is a white bitch.
And, what’s wrong with hating black people? If it gets you off, so what?
Boy, how I enjoy flying my ‘racial’ flag. I fly it everywhere. Except in front of those really huge ape brothas; those guys’ll fucking kick your white ass. Then have sex with you. Felons?..