Lindsay Lohan has a present for you

June 5th, 2009 // 173 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has been wearing tiny skirts and drinking her way across London which, of course, is the exact recipe for Firecrotch Theater. So here’s how this is going to go down: First, you’re going to notice the surprising lack of flames and charcoal briquettes. Then, you’re going to notice something that’s exactly what you think it is and attempt to lobotomize yourself with whatever’s handy. In my case, a stray kitten. (Sorry, Whiskers.) Enjoy!

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that will probably kill lesser men.

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan Red High Quality Wallpaper
Lindsay Lohan
ROLL CALL: Lindsay Lohan Debuts New Bangs & Bleached Hair
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Caption Lindsay Lohan attends the amfAR New York Gala To Kick Off Fall 2012 Fashion Week at Cipriani Wall Street in New York City on February 8, 2012Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans LiLo Look Stuns: Lindsay ...
Lindsay Lohan: amfAR New York Gala 2012
Lindsay Lohan hits the red carpet at the 2012 amfAR New York Gala on Wednesday (February 8) at NYC’s Cipriani Wall Street. The economy might not be in the greatest shape, but thankfully Lindsay Lohan keeps a select few attorneys in the black.

Comments (173)

  1. Scorpion559 | June 5, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    If everyone killed themselves after they saw Linsday’s fire crotch, there wouldn’t be anyone left on the planet.

    Reply
  2. boobies | June 5, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    if a toad peeing on you gave you warts and it wasn’t a myth i would probably say a toad peed on lindsay lohan’s vagina.

    Reply
  3. RR | June 5, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    Dude, that is beyond fucking nastyyyyy!

    Reply
  4. George Costanza | June 5, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    It didn’t move

    Reply
  5. Arioch | June 5, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    I guess Sam tore it up.

    Reply
  6. Lindsay Whore-ham | June 5, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    It looks like a ham sandwich with a side of bacon. Mmmmmmmm. . .

    Reply
  7. Me | June 5, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Anyone posting after Me likes to eat deformed fire crotch

    Reply
  8. Mister Bored | June 5, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    My lord. Even roast beef is offended.

    Reply
  9. Donny B | June 5, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Bangin’ that would probably feel like fucking a damp coat sleeve!

    Reply
  10. gingerbox | June 5, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    yumm…id eat it

    Reply
  11. Pitoooey | June 5, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    Why is she hiding leftover lasagna in her panties?

    Reply
  12. thebalterdirl | June 5, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    Even Arby’s wouldn’t serve that

    Reply
  13. Ljutefisk | June 5, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    It’s a vagina, people. Get over it. All over it.
    FAP FAP FAP

    Reply
  14. DCMikeRotch | June 5, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    It looks like it’s been chewed on.

    It looks like Samantha Ronson. Bad hair and angry.

    Reply
  15. Funeral Guy | June 5, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    OMG, is that a vaginal wart on that thing?

    Reply
  16. Kris | June 5, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    looks like my dog’s rawhide chew toy

    Reply
  17. Freddo | June 5, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Personally I love it!

    Reply
  18. BertErnie | June 5, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Oh, that’s where I left my baloney sandwich… now I remember!

    Reply
  19. walkon | June 5, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Fuckin A #7, can you come up with a new joke? If you can’t, you’re obviously eating your mom’s diseased, puss infected, pimply-from-being-poorly-shaved vagina.

    Reply
  20. dude | June 5, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    @ Funeral Guy
    Hilarious, I saw that sh*t right away!! poor gal

    Reply
  21. dude | June 5, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Her vagina looks like it’s gone 15 rounds with a boxing kangaroo. Superficial writer! I know you’re reading this! Hire me! It’s just science.

    Reply
  22. ho yeah | June 5, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    it would be so awesome to fuck her. Nothing validates my manhood like knowing I am the 4,004, 427 person to do it.

    Reply
  23. Miss Brown Eyes | June 5, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    the hot pink thing with fringes looks more like something that should be fucked that that blanched diseased prune thing…

    Reply
  24. dude_on | June 5, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    Obviously she was harmlessly displaying herself in the whore position when out of nowhere a pap swooped in for the unsuspecting shot. I hope this doesn’t hurt her chances at the topless place. Things really seemed to be falling into place for her.

    Reply
  25. Incurable STD's | June 5, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Herpes or HPV? Both.

    Reply
  26. devilsrain | June 5, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    look at pics 3 & 4, her hair is more thin than mine, and im a 36 yr old dude.

    Reply
  27. LinDsay Lover | June 5, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    id lick it all night long

    Reply
  28. LinDsay lohan pictures here | June 5, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    mmmmmmmmmmm

    Reply
  29. anna birch | June 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    Is everyone here hallucinating? All I can see is a person brutally harassed by photographers, paparazzi, tabloid eaters etc.

    Reply
  30. Sardonic | June 5, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    Be careful, Lindsay. You are clutching that bindle way too tightly. The coke is going to sweat into the paper and send you into a psychotic lesbian rage when you get into the club bathroom and realize there’s nothing left to pack up your crotch sniffing honker.

    Reply
  31. rogerdoger | June 5, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    LOOKS GOOD TO ME

    Reply
  32. Alli Watermelon | June 5, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    Wow, the paparazzi is really hard up for crotch shots. What? Not getting paid enough simply for stalking celebrities at the beach or grocery store? Jesus, this is wrong. Yes, she should be more careful and yes it looks like roast beef (and i’m pretty sure thats the end of a tampon string, not a wart). But come on, how many girls can honestly say they would be 100% innocent of flashing a camera (if there WAS one) while getting out of an automobile? This is just ridiculous and fuckin sexual harassment.

    Reply
  33. quake | June 5, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    That’s no labia. It’s a battle station!

    Reply
  34. zini | June 5, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    If I came out the club with my cock hanging out I’d get arrested.

    Reply
  35. Nathiest | June 5, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    You losers act like you’ve never seen an actually vagina before. Besides how is this her fault the camera is basically looking up her dress and the flash took care of the rest. I say whatever.

    Reply
  36. Fati | June 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    That’s not a vagina, that’s a ball.

    Reply
  37. anon | June 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    …gnarly.

    Reply
  38. Dweezel | June 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    Are those her panties in her hand?

    Reply
  39. Dweezel | June 5, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Also, I don’t think that that’s a wart or a tampon string. I think that she’s leaking someone’s…deposit.

    Reply
  40. Mark | June 6, 2009 at 12:34 am

    Nasty. Some vagina’s just look really bad like a guy with a severely bent dick. Just nasty.

    All Lindsey has to do is stop whoring at 2am in the morning.

    Reply
  41. gerard vandenberg | June 6, 2009 at 12:37 am

    we’re supposed to get horny now?
    sorry, I PREFER HERPES!!

    Reply
  42. Oh Damn | June 6, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

    Reply
  43. Oh Damn | June 6, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

    Reply
  44. Oh Damn | June 6, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

    Reply
  45. Oh Damn | June 6, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

    Reply
  46. Roxi | June 6, 2009 at 1:04 am

    ewww pathetic, disgusting i wanna throw out, like wearing micro skirts? close your freaking legs!

    @26 shes definately going bald, she has hair extensions can u imagine how would she look like with out them? omg!

    Reply
  47. Kels | June 6, 2009 at 1:05 am

    The laser hair removal ad that popped up at the top of the page was a nice touch.

    Reply
  48. phineas q. | June 6, 2009 at 1:07 am

    tampon string, people.

    Reply
  49. annonymous | June 6, 2009 at 1:15 am

    It’s photoshop
    sorry

    Reply
  50. John | June 6, 2009 at 1:19 am

    I can’t see a thing what’s the big deal

    Reply

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