Lindsay Lohan has a present for you

June 5th, 2009 // 175 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has been wearing tiny skirts and drinking her way across London which, of course, is the exact recipe for Firecrotch Theater. So here’s how this is going to go down: First, you’re going to notice the surprising lack of flames and charcoal briquettes. Then, you’re going to notice something that’s exactly what you think it is and attempt to lobotomize yourself with whatever’s handy. In my case, a stray kitten. (Sorry, Whiskers.) Enjoy!

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that will probably kill lesser men.


  1. Scorpion559

    If everyone killed themselves after they saw Linsday’s fire crotch, there wouldn’t be anyone left on the planet.

  2. boobies

    if a toad peeing on you gave you warts and it wasn’t a myth i would probably say a toad peed on lindsay lohan’s vagina.

  3. RR

    Dude, that is beyond fucking nastyyyyy!

  4. George Costanza

    It didn’t move

  5. Arioch

    I guess Sam tore it up.

  6. Lindsay Whore-ham

    It looks like a ham sandwich with a side of bacon. Mmmmmmmm. . .

  7. Me

    Anyone posting after Me likes to eat deformed fire crotch

  8. Mister Bored

    My lord. Even roast beef is offended.

  9. Donny B

    Bangin’ that would probably feel like fucking a damp coat sleeve!

  10. gingerbox

    yumm…id eat it

  11. Pitoooey

    Why is she hiding leftover lasagna in her panties?

  12. thebalterdirl

    Even Arby’s wouldn’t serve that

  13. Ljutefisk

    It’s a vagina, people. Get over it. All over it.

  14. DCMikeRotch

    It looks like it’s been chewed on.

    It looks like Samantha Ronson. Bad hair and angry.

  15. Funeral Guy

    OMG, is that a vaginal wart on that thing?

  16. Kris

    looks like my dog’s rawhide chew toy

  17. Freddo

    Personally I love it!

  18. BertErnie

    Oh, that’s where I left my baloney sandwich… now I remember!

  19. walkon

    Fuckin A #7, can you come up with a new joke? If you can’t, you’re obviously eating your mom’s diseased, puss infected, pimply-from-being-poorly-shaved vagina.

  20. dude

    @ Funeral Guy
    Hilarious, I saw that sh*t right away!! poor gal

  21. dude

    Her vagina looks like it’s gone 15 rounds with a boxing kangaroo. Superficial writer! I know you’re reading this! Hire me! It’s just science.

  22. ho yeah

    it would be so awesome to fuck her. Nothing validates my manhood like knowing I am the 4,004, 427 person to do it.

  23. Miss Brown Eyes

    the hot pink thing with fringes looks more like something that should be fucked that that blanched diseased prune thing…

  24. dude_on

    Obviously she was harmlessly displaying herself in the whore position when out of nowhere a pap swooped in for the unsuspecting shot. I hope this doesn’t hurt her chances at the topless place. Things really seemed to be falling into place for her.

  25. Incurable STD's

    Herpes or HPV? Both.

  26. devilsrain

    look at pics 3 & 4, her hair is more thin than mine, and im a 36 yr old dude.

  27. id lick it all night long

  28. anna birch

    Is everyone here hallucinating? All I can see is a person brutally harassed by photographers, paparazzi, tabloid eaters etc.

  29. Sardonic

    Be careful, Lindsay. You are clutching that bindle way too tightly. The coke is going to sweat into the paper and send you into a psychotic lesbian rage when you get into the club bathroom and realize there’s nothing left to pack up your crotch sniffing honker.

  30. rogerdoger


  31. Alli Watermelon

    Wow, the paparazzi is really hard up for crotch shots. What? Not getting paid enough simply for stalking celebrities at the beach or grocery store? Jesus, this is wrong. Yes, she should be more careful and yes it looks like roast beef (and i’m pretty sure thats the end of a tampon string, not a wart). But come on, how many girls can honestly say they would be 100% innocent of flashing a camera (if there WAS one) while getting out of an automobile? This is just ridiculous and fuckin sexual harassment.

  32. quake

    That’s no labia. It’s a battle station!

  33. If I came out the club with my cock hanging out I’d get arrested.

  34. Nathiest

    You losers act like you’ve never seen an actually vagina before. Besides how is this her fault the camera is basically looking up her dress and the flash took care of the rest. I say whatever.

  35. Fati

    That’s not a vagina, that’s a ball.

  36. anon


  37. Dweezel

    Are those her panties in her hand?

  38. Dweezel

    Also, I don’t think that that’s a wart or a tampon string. I think that she’s leaking someone’s…deposit.

  39. Mark

    Nasty. Some vagina’s just look really bad like a guy with a severely bent dick. Just nasty.

    All Lindsey has to do is stop whoring at 2am in the morning.

  40. we’re supposed to get horny now?
    sorry, I PREFER HERPES!!

  41. Oh Damn

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

  42. Oh Damn

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

  43. Oh Damn

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

  44. Oh Damn

    Scars and tooth marks……. now i know where they shoved Kuato at the end of Total Recall.

  45. Roxi

    ewww pathetic, disgusting i wanna throw out, like wearing micro skirts? close your freaking legs!

    @26 shes definately going bald, she has hair extensions can u imagine how would she look like with out them? omg!

  46. Kels

    The laser hair removal ad that popped up at the top of the page was a nice touch.

  47. phineas q.

    tampon string, people.

  48. annonymous

    It’s photoshop

  49. John

    I can’t see a thing what’s the big deal

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