Lindsay Lohan has her shit together, says judge

July 16th, 2008 // 38 Comments

Lindsay Lohan is on the straight and narrow, according to the judge presiding over her probation case stemming from last year’s misdemeanor charges. Nothing like seeing a veritable booze tornado defy all odds and become a lesbian. *sniff* She was one of the greats. E! Online reports:

A Los Angeles judge agreed with the 22-year-old starlet’s attorney today when he determined that Lohan had “proper attendance” and “no missed dates” regarding the various obligations she has been required to attend as part of her probation from 2007′s twin-DUI debacle.

All I have to say is, they don’t make overprivileged child stars like they used to anymore. Britney’s cleaned herself up and now Lindsay. Christ, next you’re going to tell me Paris Hilton has stop killing homeless men with her death vagina. I’ve traveled into a parallel universe, haven’t I? I knew it. I bet I can fly in this one. Whee!

UPDATE: So I don’t have the power of flight. What I do have is the ability to bounce off the roof of a Prius into a bus. On that note, I’ll be typing with my tongue from here on outpbpt. Damfit.

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Comments (38)

  1. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 16, 2008 at 10:42 am

    Wow times must be rough… looks like she’s shopping at Gap Kids now.

    Reply
  2. granada | July 16, 2008 at 10:43 am

    That is one ugly dress. But good for Lindsay…let’s see how long this lasts.

    Reply
  3. lamby | July 16, 2008 at 10:49 am

    I’m blind.

    Reply
  4. mia | July 16, 2008 at 10:49 am

    yeah, good for her.

    Reply
  5. jo smo | July 16, 2008 at 10:54 am

    where are the dirty upskirt shootin’ paps when you need em….

    Reply
  6. Sportsdvl | July 16, 2008 at 10:55 am

    It is amazing how much better she looks when her little Gollum girlfriend isn’t hanging on her arm…

    Reply
  7. English Bob | July 16, 2008 at 11:04 am

    I’d be all over this chick like a rainbow on an oil slick….Does anyone else think that it’s probably NOT water in that bottle..?? You sly dog Lindsay….

    Reply
  8. Spiderwoman | July 16, 2008 at 11:08 am

    That’s really great that she finally turned her life around. She had to since she was in deep shit with the law. I’m glad she finally left the partying scene. It does get boring after awhile. She looks much healthier now. But she still seems like a dyke, hanging out with that Sam chick.

    Reply
  9. sameshitdifferentyear | July 16, 2008 at 11:13 am

    Yeah???
    I got something “straight and narrow” right down here for ya Lindsay

    Ka-POW!!!

    A nice tepid, shit-quality double-entendre to start the day…..

    Reply
  10. iiirene | July 16, 2008 at 11:14 am

    Lidsay has been proved as a lesbian, even more, she has a personal account on (MILLMATCH). seems that she often wonders about it to look for bisexual funs. OMG, she make me sick!

    Reply
  11. monkeyfightclub | July 16, 2008 at 11:18 am

    she was way hotter when she was out of control

    Reply
  12. Miss Kitty | July 16, 2008 at 11:19 am

    WOW! Look at those saggy baps! And she’s only 22 years old?!?!?!?!

    Reply
  13. Sportsdvl | July 16, 2008 at 11:19 am

    #10 – please fuck off and die spammer

    Reply
  14. Richard McBeef | July 16, 2008 at 11:22 am

    all my friends drive a low-rider

    saggin ass titties

    Reply
  15. Ted Mosby | July 16, 2008 at 11:23 am

    Very hittable

    Reply
  16. Sportsdvl | July 16, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Did the judge say “She has her shit together” or did he say “I’d like to fuck her in the shitter”?

    Reply
  17. Rome | July 16, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Her tits aren’t saggy, you morons. All boobs bigger than an A-cup droop a little bit, the bigger ones even more so.
    Unless all you’re accustomed to are plastic tits. Or no tits at all.

    Reply
  18. Que | July 16, 2008 at 11:41 am

    Que yes please!

    Reply
  19. Jonny S | July 16, 2008 at 11:55 am

    Honestly she looks healthy in this picture, no late nights snorting coke off a italian towel boy

    Reply
  20. lancelot | July 16, 2008 at 11:55 am

    In spite of everything, Lindsay still looks great. She is a beautiful girl, even after putting her body through all kinds of hell, the weight losses and gains, the drugs and booze. She’ll never be as unbelievably hot as she was back in the Herbie days when Disney had to hide her charms, or the early Maxim photos when her young, natural body nearly burst with nubile luciousness. But she is still a great beauty.

    Reply
  21. DoFreeBird | July 16, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    What’s up? The middle of July and no pictures of Lindsey in a Bikini puking up her guts over a balcony on a group of Nuns? Whats this world coming to.

    Reply
  22. Tom | July 16, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    She’s still so hot. I want her bad.

    Reply
  23. brianne | July 16, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    she’s usually so gorgeous, but oh my god if that dress isnt awful!! the color washes her out, and it looks like she has the boobs of a 45 year old with 5 kids!

    Reply
  24. Joe Mama | July 16, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    I need to park my chevette in this red heads garage.

    Reply
  25. ph7 | July 16, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    #24, I’m thinking my ride is pulling into the rear entrance. After a leisurely drive through the mountains.

    Reply
  26. Dave | July 16, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    Wow! She’s actually looking hot!!

    Reply
  27. Richard McBeef | July 16, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    @17 – so you have saggy tits too?

    Reply
  28. hausfrau | July 16, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    CANKLES AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE….

    Reply
  29. herbiefrog | July 16, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    “traveled into a parallel universe” said the fish

    ok… apart from the

    the spelling

    looking great babe : )

    orange is so “one of those” colours

    quiet times coming… : )

    …and

    …then ? : )

    Reply
  30. Randal | July 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    When hasn’t she had her shit together? Lindsay has been doing everything she’s wanted to do since she started doing it! It’s other people who think otherwise and their opion does not matter.

    Lindsay, keep being you because no one does it better! Luv ya! xoxo

    Randal

    Reply
  31. Kate | July 16, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    I can find nicer stuff that that shiteious dress at Target. Way to go Lindz.

    Reply
  32. Kate | July 16, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    I can find nicer stuff than that shiteious dress at Target. Way to go Lindz.

    Reply
  33. leng | July 16, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    I just feel a little strange that someone is keeping saying some celebrities and rich men joined the famous affairs site !!!***SugarDaddyconnect . c o m.. Did you notice that? absolutely a rumor!

    Reply
  34. andy dick's vagina chin | July 17, 2008 at 7:00 am

    for some reason she looks like she’s really good at licking slit

    Reply
  35. gerard Vandenberg | July 17, 2008 at 9:46 am

    ………………………………She needs to S(H)IT?

    Reply
  36. JPRichardson | July 17, 2008 at 11:43 am

    I sincerely lilke her “Twinky” legs. Too bad she has saggy boobs, no ass and no waist. He face looks OK though.

    Reply
  37. Larry Jones | July 17, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Am I splitting hairs or she a bit cankl-y?

    Reply
  38. Lurch | July 21, 2008 at 3:26 am

    Wow she looks alot better now

    Reply

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