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Lindsay Lohan has signed on to become the latest spokesperson for Proactiv Solution, joining Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson as one of thoes people you see on late night infomercials talking about their horrible skin problems. The deal is reportedly worth $2 million, which is totally worth the embarrassment of admitting to the world you have an acne problem. For $2 million I’d promote pretty much anything you’ve got. Explosive diarrhea medicine? I’m your man. Two sets of genitals medicine? That’s kind of weird, but sure, why not. I have no standards.
MaryBackstayge | July 11, 2006 at 11:39 am
First, but still dead inside.
pop | July 11, 2006 at 11:39 am
that proactiv solution stuff is bullshit! i ordered it before and i STILL have genital herpes!! not to mention the burning in my crotch that ensued….
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
newukguy | July 11, 2006 at 11:39 am
Well I am the same age as Lindsay, and to me she just looks like 1 giant zit….
pop | July 11, 2006 at 11:39 am
….oh wait….you mean it’s for your face?
Kim | July 11, 2006 at 11:39 am
I thought those were freckles. Gross!
newukguy | July 11, 2006 at 11:40 am
#3 hahahaha
that’s why Paris isn’t doing it! :)
jrzmommy | July 11, 2006 at 11:40 am
she looks puffy.
DancingQueen | July 11, 2006 at 11:41 am
I’m totally w/the SF guy on this one. Shit, for 2 mil I’ll walk around dressed as a giant zit 24/7.
jrzmommy | July 11, 2006 at 11:46 am
puffy and angry.
Proteon | July 11, 2006 at 11:47 am
/yawn
Anie900 | July 11, 2006 at 11:48 am
she needs to get fit… cause she looks lumpy and squishy…i’m bad people
Alacran | July 11, 2006 at 11:59 am
Man I’m so tired of her, if she looses weight she’s anorexic, now she looks too fat, she has fake boobs, she has acne problems, she has a fire crotch, go away!!!
Can’t we have some Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johannsson?
cardio | July 11, 2006 at 12:01 pm
How does that medicine help the fact that she is a fire crotch??!!
In case you haven’t heard, by the way, TCLTC
waterranger | July 11, 2006 at 12:02 pm
2 million dollars? She’s still really poor and disgusting and lives in a motel.
Tits_McGhee | July 11, 2006 at 12:06 pm
This is how part of the commercial will be like:
Lindsay: “Yeah, I like, totally had acne on my pussy! It was so gross! I mean, I totally had huge whitheads and pus on my cooter, so I totally took this, like Proactiv shit, and like, now it’s totally better! Except for a couple months later it fires up again, and I DON’T KNOW WHY!!!!”
Proactiv: “CUT! Uh, Lindsay, that’s not acne…”
Mary45 | July 11, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Acne and cocaine use are corrallated, fire crotches and sex with anyone(thing) are corrallated. Should we be surprised?
Justin Igger | July 11, 2006 at 12:08 pm
This bitch does know that it doesn’t get rid of freckles, right?
I’d still fuck the shit out of her and let her toss my salad after a good shit, and no wipe.
jane's eyre | July 11, 2006 at 12:16 pm
I was watching Peewee’s Playhouse on Adult Swim last night, and when he started doing his “Connect the Dots” bit, I thought of Lindsay.
Glossed Over | July 11, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Well, she does need the money. How else is she going to buy a bikini a day?
http://glossedover.com
Sefronia777 | July 11, 2006 at 12:23 pm
Hey, she’s a pathetic trollop caught in a machine. I look forward to the her “Firecrotch and Friends” infomercial…..
Shine on, ya crazy diamond.
alaskanchicsickle | July 11, 2006 at 12:24 pm
@18 Did you notice that the show Spongebob Squarepants seems to have borrowed their theme song from Peewee’s Playhouse?
Rimmer | July 11, 2006 at 12:25 pm
If the acne DOES turn out to be the herp, does she still get the two mil?
Doxes | July 11, 2006 at 12:26 pm
So much for the “sex clears up your complexion” myth.
ellaminnowpea | July 11, 2006 at 12:28 pm
@18 – Oh Jane – ain’t it great to see PeeWee again on Adult Swim? They’re even funnier than they were the first time around! PeeWee ROCKS!
Lindsay, on the other hand, does NOT!
alaskanchicsickle | July 11, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Oh I better clarify that a little, they didn’t borrow PeeWee’s theme song, just some music I heard during part of the show.
jane's eyre | July 11, 2006 at 12:32 pm
@21 I actually missed the very beginning of the show, so I don’t remember how it goes. I’ll have to pay attention next time.
@24 WERRD!
bigponie | July 11, 2006 at 12:34 pm
the SF guy reported this all wrong, she’s the new spokesperson for Pro-Active sex, drugs and rock n roll
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | July 11, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Lohan Timeline:
1 year – Christmas Album with Beyonce
2 yrs – Reality show featuring drug-addict father and crazy partying mom
3 yrs – Pregnant by Fez. Promotional deal with Desetin diaper cream.
5 yrs – Guest spot on “I Love the 2000′s” on VH1. Makes nation cringe with constant reference to Alotta Vagina character in Austin Powers.
10 yrs – Guest spot on Holloywood Squares revoked because she keeps flinging boogers at David Carusso. Spends last year alive gorging self with Kahlua and bearclaws.
The End.
RichPort | July 11, 2006 at 12:36 pm
This story has to be inaccurate because my coke dealer told me that’s the amount she put as a down payment to secure her own coca bushes in Bolivia. And those white marks aren’t zits, they’re coke mixed with mucous after doing a Tony Montana like face dive into her weekend stash. That said, she probably screws like a jackhammer, but you’d need an asbestos condom with her firecrotch.
sharkbite | July 11, 2006 at 12:37 pm
If only regular people with terrible acne could wheel themselves a $2 million advertising deal.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
francesfarmer | July 11, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Word is on the street Syd Barrett formerly of Pink Floyd passed away today, but apparently he died a few years ago and no one said anything about it
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13814051/
jane's eyre | July 11, 2006 at 12:41 pm
@27 Good one, bigponie!
Jacq | July 11, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Jane – I, too, am glad to see PeeWee’s back on TV. Did you see Natasha Lyonne in that episode? Genie should have warned her about what was going to happen to her.
I guess they’re calling herpes “acne” now. Firecrotch!! She would be a better advertisement for a paper-bag-over-your-head company.
jane's eyre | July 11, 2006 at 1:07 pm
No I didn’t! I’m not sure I would have recognized her. Was this episode the one with Laurence Fishburne(sp?), the geri-curled cowboy?
jane's eyre | July 11, 2006 at 1:12 pm
It was kind of disturbing to notice how gay the genie looked, though. I didn’t notice when I was a kid, that probably had something to do with the fact that I was 5 when that show came on.
Paul Reuben’s new show is called “Pee-Wee’s Playhose”.
Queen LaQueefah | July 11, 2006 at 1:19 pm
I can visualize her peeling a huge shingle of dry pale freckly skin and eating it like the dutch dude from Austin Powers.
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 11, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Great marketing concept, ProActive! Get a celeb with terrible skin – freckles on freckles, lobster-red sunburn, blotches, premature aging through sun damage – to be your spokeswoman. I suppose people will think ProActive works because they’ll overlook any acne with all the other crap she’s got going on with her face. Her pimples have freckles, so they are naturally camouflaged. I’m still waiting for the Paris Hilton Valtrex commercial.
Meghann | July 11, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Yeah those Proactiv commercials are bullshit. I read an interview with Jessica Simpson where she said her dermatologist prescribed her Accutane to get rid of her acne.
tits_on_snack | July 11, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Malcolm in the Middle with a wig, AND acne. I wonder if she has bacne. And crotchne. And a bad case of assne.
Jacq | July 11, 2006 at 1:29 pm
#34 – He was actually in a lot of episodes – he’s Cowboy Curtis. At least we can enjoy some vintage Phil Hartman.
Paging housekeeping, we need vomit clean-up on aisle 36.
blueballs | July 11, 2006 at 1:39 pm
What do you think popped first on Lindsay, her cherry or a zit? I bet her cherry, that wanna be female carrot top impersonator!
Italian Stallion | July 11, 2006 at 1:42 pm
I love that expression on her face.
Lohan: What do you mean you never heard of butter? I just met MeganHarris yesterday with The Hoff and she said to come here to ask you for butter.
Dealer: Who? Oh, you mean the ugly bitch I sold Land O Lakes to. Crazy bitch tried to snort it.
Lohan: You mean to tell me you don’t have any booger sugar?
Dealer: Yeah, I got that shit, just don’t call it butter you dumb cunt. Now hurry up, you want some shit or what? I gotta meet Kate Moss in 5 minutes at Pete’s house.
Spindoc | July 11, 2006 at 1:45 pm
how much would a company have to pay her to get her to stay celibate for a year?
The product could be called “Skank Away”
MeganHarris | July 11, 2006 at 1:49 pm
You can’t take it that I actually knew a street name for cocaine that you didn’t.
Have you ever even tried cocaine?
Italian Stallion | July 11, 2006 at 2:28 pm
@44 well, if you have, judging from your face it has an awful side effect. So I guess I learned not to do it by watching you!!!
Don’t you have someone famous to meet today?
Fuck Off Poltergeist!!!!
HollyJ | July 11, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Fiery redhead, fire crotch, volcano face…
She’s a geothermist’s wet dream.
booface | July 11, 2006 at 3:21 pm
hahahahahahaha!! MeghanHarris thinks she’s cool because she knows that butter is slang for coke. That is hilarious.
Meg, I am worried about your equating cocaine with coolness. You have to do a lot more than coke to be cool. I’m talking horse tranquilizer. Now that is some crazy kewl shit.
em167 | July 11, 2006 at 3:23 pm
I think this is funny considering that she was on SNL making fun of Jessica Simpson promoting proactiv.
tits_on_snack | July 11, 2006 at 3:33 pm
“Have you ever even tried coke” lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao l. m. a. o.
so street.
Kim | July 11, 2006 at 4:22 pm
@ 31
According to the link you posted, Syd Barrett died a few DAYS ago not years. So either that was bad sarcasm or you’re just plain stupid.