Lindsay Lohan has a healthy appetite

February 1st, 2007 // 69 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been sending Brody Jenner text messages the last couple weeks while in rehab, and last Saturday she allegedly texted him that all she wanted was “McDonald’s and sex.”

Really? McDonald’s and sex? She’s officially become a caricature of herself. If I was to make up a story about her texting from rehab that’s exactly what it would’ve been. I’m just waiting for the day she puts on a silly hat, picks up a rifle, and goes hunting for wabbits.

And because she’s a child, here’s Lindsay Lohan screaming for attention by trying to make love to the camera and then pretending to hide under a jacket. She might as well be twirling a fiery baton while trying to do cartwheels and yelling: “Look what I can do!”


  1. Danner

    God I love her idea of “style”.


    Nice glasses.

  2. llllllllll

    Lindsay where have you been you alcoholic drug addict?

  3. emoney


  4. yasmin3000y

    erm she scares me
    “wabit” hehehehehehe

  5. crazyotto

    so whats the story here,shes wearing sunglasses?…arent there wars going on somewhere….

  6. crazyotto

    oh i get it white trash whore from new jersey gets out of rehab and eats a big mac…very redundant

  7. Celetina

    Is anybody else imagining he asked her what she wanted, and since then she’s been texting him round-the-clock with desires as they occur to her? Like his inbox is flooded with:

    “my sistermom”
    “cheap exploitative attention”
    “maybe a lice check”
    “McDonald’s and sex”
    “panties—wait, no”
    “rum and coke”
    “more coke (the smelly kind)”
    “doe-eyed innocence”
    “a hurricane of cocks in every orifice”

  8. danielle

    Are you sure it wasn’t:

    Sex IN McDonald’s ????

    You know Lindsay, always “making love” in fancy places.

  9. crazyotto

    i’m going to go clean my m-16 and wait for the pale horse

  10. crazyotto

    to bad she wasnt in that car moesha hit

  11. mbarkr

    God damnit, when are these stupid bitches going to stop wearing those big fucking sun-glasses.

    Fuck you, Paris. For a lot of reasons, but mostly for starting this god damned trend. Fuck you. Fuck you, in your stupid ass.

  12. BarbadoSlim

    Wow, dude sounds like a class act, all the way. Especially when he publicizes what this retarded and diseased twat tells him in confidence.

    Still he should go to a clinic and get checked if he’s been plowin’ her.

  13. GGIRL

    I can believe this bitch! How low can you go to get some attention?

  14. metaphor

    Why is she not wearing a bikini? I’m confused.

  15. crazyotto

    we create these people and we can destroy them,ignore them and they cease to be

  16. Not even Applebee’s or something with decent food. Just McDonald’s mealworms on a bun… and sex.

  17. karifarrell

    I’m so sick of this foot-cramp it’s not even funny…she doesn’t need rehab for being a drug addict and alcoholic, she needs rehab for being a media whore!!!
    Save rehab for people who need it like my good friend Pete Doherty. Or me.

  18. misanthrope

    McDonald’s and sex. MMMMM classy. How about Bud with that too? Is that rehab place just like somewhere else to hang out at night?

  19. drbunny97

    Seriously….when did Lindsay turn into one of Michael Jackson’s children?

  20. LoneWolf

    Looks like Homegirl’s dropped some weight since she’s been in Rehab. Although in her case it should be called Prehab ’cause it ain’t gonna take.

    As for McDonald’s and sex, that sounds like Tuesday to me. But that’s just how I roll.

  21. Looks like her career is circling the toilette bowl…

    In a letter dated Jan. 18 and obtained by In Touch magazine, Michael Lohan (who is currently serving time in New York for a variety of crimes) wrote to his estranged daughter saying he was happy she was “gaining control of her life” and “starting anew.”

    At least she still has one fan, because the way things are going, the “Mean Girl” is losing her popularity fast.

    According to the U.K. Sun, a number of Hollywood legends, including Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, have told their agents to automatically turn down any film that already has Lindsay attached to it.

    And apparently, Lohan’s annoyed the other 12-steppers at the Wonderland Center. Sources revealed to that the actress is getting special treatment and treats rehab “as if it were a joke.”

  22. metaphor

    Hey she could be a reformed character now. All you bitches should give her a break!

  23. AreYouSerious?!?!

    Anyone else confused by the fact that while she’s wearing one pair of sunglasses she clutches another in her hand??? Come on, really?!?!

  24. kathleen170

    Wow she actually doesn’t look terrible here for once. She’s not a fiery carrot-top, her tits aren’t hanging out all over the place and neither is her cooch. She doesn’t look totally drunk either.
    Maybe she’s actually making progress. Or she’s stoned out of her mind and we just can’t see because of the shades.

  25. magickal

    Sick. Of. Her. NnnnnnnnnnnnnnnEXT!

  26. 4DPants

    @19: “Blanket.” Heee!

  27. BibiLush

    she has lego man legs = short and square but i would still do drugs with her

  28. cole007

    that lil sis looks like she has the rickets.

    That sick white trash fam needs some vitamins, pronto…for people on the go!

  29. NicotineEyePatch

    One would think she’d be more partial to In n’ Out Burger.

  30. Juliabella

    why why oh why???? She just had to come did she?

  31. Binky

    If Linds really wants publicity she should get out her ‘Lite Bright’ sets and place them around a few bridges.

  32. The Devil's Prom Date

    I’d like to buy her a 6 piece order of the Chicken McKillyourself.

  33. I can provide both.

    Lindsay………give me a call.

  34. Shanipie

    I feel bad that her family is such trash.

    I hope her parents blame themselves completely for her becoming such a hoebag.

    Its so classic, he father is a fucking dipshit criminal with no self control and low and behold she goes after any man who will look at her and is dying for attention.

    Whatever happened to good child stars like…like…Ron Howard?

  35. 86


  36. woodhorse

    I KNEW IT!! When my uncle looked out in the field and saw some nekid guy pushin’ his groin thru the furrows, I told him it looked like some kind of messed up sex act. My uncle went to grab the guy but that skinny guy was already runnin’ off holdin’ his laptop over his head and gruntin’ UR UR UR. NOW BARBADOSLIM ADMITS TO “PLOWIN’”

  37. Niecy

    So Starbucks is selling coffee with liquor in it now?

  38. Niecy

    @32 LMAO. She needs two orders

  39. Niecy

    @32 LMAO. She needs two orders to be sure

  40. Niecy

    @32 LMAO

  41. herbiefrog

    hey ali :)
    big sis putting you out there? :)

    tell her to step up first
    she’s doin’ ok
    [who said charity?]
    [[...and who said afica?]]

    oh… nobody reads this shit aNYWAY

    you only live once
    and i’;m living 4 today?

  42. itspat

    wow, slow news day i guess. if she had snuck out of rehab, got high, and had Brody Jenner administer a mcdonald’s soft-serve enema to her as foreplay, *that* would have been a story.

  43. BarbadoSlim

    @36 Heh, that’s just my typical Wednesday night dude.

    It’s common knowledge …

  44. Sep

    If you’re chompin’ down on a Big Mac while you have sex, I’d go out on a limb and say that sex with you probably sucks.

  45. Lowlands

    With her clothes on she’s not looking that bad…

  46. Lowlands

    (45)Just kidding!

  47. 86

    I wonder what she is going to do when blue-grey and black are not in fashion anymore. She’ll still be wearing that shit in the dead heat of summer. Yes Lindsay we KNOW grey makes your eye color stand out against your fake-tanned skin!! Jeesh….. beat us over the head with it!!!!!!!!

  48. Lowlands

    Look at the two last photos.These photographers haven’t seen such a alien yet wearing a burka-like coat.To make sure they believe them,they made photos for back home.

  49. Tracy

    Finally, Lindsay Lohan and I are in agreement on something… ;)

  50. madaboutmark

    It’s so sad that these people are more famous for their fucked up lives than their on screen movie careers….I don’t get it, is this the only way to get publicity in Hollywood these days??


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