Lindsay Lohan gets served

October 17th, 2006 // 48 Comments

lindsay-lohan-served.jpgWhile walking the red carpet at the Annual American Cinematheque Award honoring George Clooney last Friday, Lindsay Lohan was served with a subpoena to testify at her mother’s trial (who’s being sued for fraud, theft, and violation of contract). She was walking the carpet when she was approached by a woman she assumed was an autograph seeker and said to her, “You’re my first autograph!” to which the woman answered “You’ve been served” and handed her the subpoena. According to witnesses Lindsay then dropped the paperwork and chased after the process server.

I thought Lindsay was out of ways to make an ass out of herself and then she surprises me with this little gem. Maybe next week she can ask a fat lady when her baby’s due and then offer to sign her belly because she’s a famous actress. Only there is no baby due, is there, Linday?


  1. hamacus


  2. mbarkr

    First, bitches.

    (I’d still hit it, I don’t care. Have you seen the size of those boobs?)

  3. mbarkr

    Aaarrrghh… second bitches.

  4. hamacus

    Fire Crotch Meds: $100 dollars

    Labial Reconstruction: $8000 dollars

    The look on Hohans face: Priceless


  5. Madrid Marriott

    It is impossible to overstate how incredible awesome that is. I’m sure she just rolled up that subpoena and stuck it up her spoogetube for the duration of the awards ceremony. Can’t really expect her to sit through a whole ceremony without putting somethin betwixt her legs.

  6. BigJim


    That’s nasty.

  7. Natalina

    Those fake eyelashes are ridiculously huge, and it isn’t even a close up of her.

  8. BigJim

    The subpoena wouldn’t fit up her “spoogetube” because her testicles would get in the way.

  9. y3n0

    Brilliant move!

  10. tits_on_snack

    Word, #7. I was about to comment on the oversized novelty halloween eyelashes.

  11. JB Fletcher

    missed first by this much.sigh,europeans have no chance with the bloody time difference.and i was watching murder,she wrote.

    im glad she got served,but i wish it was WWF style like how K fed got served.

    I think a black eye would complete her crack-adiccted-skank-whore-who-needs-to-hit-the-stairmaster-for-the-benefit-of-mankind.


  12. BigJim, do me a solid! I know you don’t know me from Adam, but go to this site…

    …and lay down a couple of post. She’s funnier than the Fish and her posts are up earlier in the day. Plus she gets paid for it.
    P.S. If you do, I’ll see if I can get “Guy-Pierre” off your ass!

    Anybody else who wants to post, go on. Yeeeah! has lots of room.

  13. JB Fletcher

    LOOK,the last word of the sentence was supposed to be LOOK,as in her skanky look.


    also agree with halloween lashes.horrendous.and too sparkly dress,but then again,she is new jersey white trash isnt she?she cant help being a lash and sparkle magnet

  14. MalynLaReina

    i was the server, yep.

    haha, take that hohan!

  15. Oh, if only I could have been the woman who got to say “You’re being served.”

  16. thebor

    There had to be a royal rumble cage match at the law office to get to serve that. I am guessing 4 died and 12 more injured trying to get that assignment.

    AHH the life of a family of whores. I am so jealous.

  17. Yeah, c’mon over, Big Jim! It’s me, your best good friend sweetcheeks. Remember my dream of writing for a living? Well, here it is. If you count “a living” as “all the bean burritos you can eat and a carton of Newports.”

    Come one, come all! Try not to pass out from sheer delight.

  18. RichPort

    Fucking hilarious. I love the careful examination she’s giving the blank envelope, much like staring at a list of her greatest attributes.

  19. p.s. no douchebags

  20. BTW, Who’s ‘Linday’? is that her evil twin?

  21. Berzerker

    Poor Lindsay, I’d like to give her a big hug.


    I served my then future-wife’s then soon-to-be ex (follow that?) with the divorce papers in a similar manner, except he’s a slightly lesser-known actor and was leaving the theatre instead of going in.

    But, yes, it was fulfilling.

  23. JB Fletcher

    berserker are you in love with lindsay?

    im shocked and surprised.

  24. So far, Lindsay’s actual life is far more interesting than any of her movies.

  25. jrzmommy

    Her next gaffe: Telling a male cancer patient that the Vin Diesel look is so over!

  26. jrzmommy

    PS–there’s Rumer Willis, her NBF, future Betty Ford Clinic visitor. $100 says drunk ass coked-up Lohan and Rumer get into a car accident within 2 months.




    If so, you’re on!

    (worth $100)

  28. jrzmommy

    28-as a mom, I can’t go there, they’re someone’s daughters, so I’ll just keep it at an accident prediction involving paparazzis and Horhan being under the influence.

  29. ApacheRose

    Yeah, they are someone’s daughters. Dina Lohan’s a hell of a mom, too, eh? It’s no wonder Lindsay’s such a mess.

  30. jrzmommy

    30–yes, I’ve seen alley cats with better parenting skills than Dina Lohan, and Demi Moore is a narcissistic mirror kisser, however…be that as it may….karma is the real bitch I try to avoid.

  31. *HelloKitty*

    Hahaha, these are the stories I just luuurv to read about LL. She proves the old adage that money can’t buy class! Remember her in The Parent Trap? Those freckles!!!


    29. That’s pretty much a given though, isn’t it? Paris did it, so LL will follow.

  33. I always thought Dina Lohan was going to finally have to go to court because she ended up selling her younger children as slaves when Lindsay runs out of money….but you know, this will work for me too.

    Oh, and Lindsay, two things, you can toss away papers you’ve been served with…and two, just what the hell did you think you were going to do if you caught that person you served you you dumb bitch? Yeah, really smart idea, mommy is being sued and you get arrested for assault and battery.

  34. I can assure you that those are summons to court for copyright infringement on the basis of being the dumbest idiot on Earth. Everyone knows that is Paris Hilton’s trademark and Elliott Mintz will get just, by God!

  35. NipsyHustle

    she’s staring cautiously like “did that lady say this was my HIV results”? be afraid linds, be very afraid

  36. Proteon

    It’s amazing what a computer can “pick up” out of a photo such as written words or nipples. Good thing they can’t fake em otherwise we’d never know what was what and what was bullshit.

  37. LL

    I’m just glad I can’t see Lindsay’s crotch. Really, really glad. Because I think we’ve all seen enough of it.

    I’ve never understood why people get mad at process servers. I understand that receiving a summons is not the happiest time in one’s life, but it doesn’t do much good to get pissed at the person who hands them to you. They’re just doing their job. Lindsay really does need to get to an Adulthood 101 class to teach her how to behave in various public situations. She apparently failed Introductory Not Showing Your Crotch in Public. Nice parenting, Dina, way to set a good example. Dummy.

  38. Jacq

    Now what am I supposed to do when I meet her? I was going to bring it, but it’s already been broughten.

  39. Nick

    #25 – I never thought of that until now. True!
    #39 – Nice.

  40. applecrisp

    They should have give her the CD version.
    Can she read?

  41. tsarinaamanda

    Oh, the LOOK on her FACE! I would have given anything to have been standing right there when those papers were handed to her…I would have pointed and laughed my ass off, and then made a devastatingly clever, snarky comment and then walked away. She thought the server was asking for an autograph! BWAHAAAHAAA!!!!! I’ll be having sweet dreams tonight! Like who wants her autograph anyways? I don’t know if skank is catching, but I’m not gonna take the chance.

  42. tsarinaamanda

    And I think skank might REALLY be catching, it looks like ugly little Rumer Willis has caught it, especially if she’s Hohan’s new BFF. Why would her mother let her hang around with that whore? Well, her mother IS Demi Moore, so I probably answered my own question.

  43. Stuey75

    AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I woulda shit myself from laughing if I saw that happen.

  44. herbiefrog

    “According to witnesses Lindsay then dropped the paperwork and chased after the process server”

    …so many potential comments :)
    …and yet
    …and yet…

    lets just do the alien wiv a boot on his head…
    ok L( :)

  45. Are you serial? That’s so funny! te he he

  46. mmbelle

    finally ! this is awesome

  47. kates

    she’s such a freak

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