Lindsay Lohan gets one step closer to porn

March 20th, 2009 // 146 Comments

Here’s Lindsay Lohan in the latest commercial for Fornarina because that’s what her life has been reduced to. That said, I think the work here has given her career the shot it desperately needed. Right in the back of the head.

NOTE: For those of you unable to watch video, just imagine a talking skeleton surrounded by the shittiest 80s music and graphics you can think of. Then again, you’re probably light years ahead of what I just saw. You lucky bastards.


  1. Que

    Que yum yum.

  2. mamamiasweetpeaches

    What the hell is fornarina???? This reminds me of those 80s commercials for jenjer jeans…or whatever the hell they were called.

  3. I think I’m going to poke my eyes out now.

  4. Zee Brat

    That… was amazing. Im going to go vomit now.

  5. jake

    She’s one of the few girls who became much skinnier after becoming a lesbian.

  6. Didn’t she use to be an actress?

  7. jomo

    this commercial sucks. it is a shame for such a talented performer to have fallen this far.. a tragedy if you think about it. Kim kardashian.

  8. Andrio

    This makes not sense. She should be endorsing a skin care product, something to put on after being with her girlfriend “to get rid of that horrid smelling shiny face.”

  9. gosyco


    Whoa – where was I…. oh yeah -


  10. wow.

    this company has the worst website i have ever seen. it doesn’t even work right.

  11. Zanna

    @5 – that’s because pussy is low cal.

  12. Jeezy

    What the fuck was that? There’s no way that was Lindsay Lohan.

  13. Bickus Dickus

    definately adding her to my Death Pool. She won’t last through summer.

  14. miggs

    I think it’s because you develop bulimia if what you eat is Ronson’s pussy.

  15. gosyco

    There’s a website?!?!


  16. netstarman

    Whenever she is let out to do these gigs, a angel looses its lunch. And asks for a box of Zantax. Where we suppose forget the 80′s bad fashion , bad colors, subtle dance music . and too many references to the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High. She makes drug dealers cry .

  17. Danklin24

    What the FUCK was that?

  18. ImKharn

    You are awesome Lindsay!

    but this…. wtf the original fornarnia pics were great and now…. what did they do to you?

    PS perhaps ok commercial when you were 12

  19. woolcifer

    Wow, Forget Linsay the makers of the commercial at one point actually had to say something like ……Perfect, That’s the ad…..We’re done.

  20. Steve Klose

    Hahaha – the economy sucks ….

    C list actress

    80′s music/ graphics team (all we could afford)

    and lots of pink.

  21. GROAARH!

    the clip is pretty SFW! Wondering about her next step!:)

  22. GROAARH!

    Well done lill Lindsay Lohan!

  23. Amy

    We are all gathered around my computer at work….laughing. WTF was that? It just disturbed me to no end.

  24. Those juicy jugs wasnt prominent enough besides that she looks great…

  25. GuyHolly

    Fish you fuckwad. do not mention porn again without showing us some tits!!

  26. Jrz

    I can’t see nuthin.

  27. standing behind Kim Kardashian

    I can’t see anything either…and there’s this awful smell…

  28. nat

    The only reason this commercial is getting any publicity is because Lindsay is so famous. If the girl in it had been some random model, this would be one of the dumbest commercials ever. It’s very bad.

  29. Emmm. What part of this did LiLo think was a good idea? Just goes to prove that the only people who (misguidedly) think she has an iota of talent left in her shriveling body are the same bunch of Italian marketing morons that came up with a brand called “Fornarina,” which definitely sounds like his has SOMETHING to do with hookers. Definitely. :)

  30. michelle

    wow that just wasted some time i’ll never get back… that commercial blows. stupid.

    wtf is up with that awful wig??

  31. Wow. Yeah, wow. Just.. Wow. My head hurts.

  32. Funny, that looks exactly like Still White to me… emaciated… pussy… not a real soldier… bitter… I half expected Hello Kitty to come out.

  33. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere


  34. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere


  35. Deacon Jones

    god damn my corporate security settings……

  36. SuzieQ


  37. Matthew

    @21 she is now a d-list celeb along with miss kathy griffin

  38. hehe

    it’s funny that all the related youtubes are “for narnia”; clips from the movie

  39. Cal

    is it just me or does it look like she stole hannah montana’s wig?

  40. Ok she used to be hot but now I’d rather poke my eyes out with hot pokers.

    Seriously someone take her to the nearest Burger King. Hell, carry her if you have to, just in case a gust of wind blows her in the other direction.

  41. Christopher

    omg her voice is awful… oh, and that other stuff, too.

  42. I miss the Lindsey Lohan of parent trap. She was so innocent then.

  43. jt

    did she once have breasts? and what are those two sticks that connect her feet to her body?

  44. Carolyn

    And to think she used to have something going for her.

  45. meee

    that was really creepy & uncomfortable to sit through.

  46. Oh my fuck!

    What the shit was that?!?!?

  47. Chatham

    I have no idea what Fornarina is. I thought it said “LL for narnia”… and i thought, lindsay is in the next Narnia movie?

  48. Tom K

    I can’t stop laughing!!! “Flash, Click, Wow, Fornarina!” LMAO! LOL LOL LOL!!

    Holy shit!!! See what happens when the public gets tired of you, you are reduced to shit work. If only this could happen to Chris Brown.

  49. imconfused

    is that some cross between a fornicator and a ballerina? i don’t get it

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