has a ridiculously amusing letter sent to Lindsay Lohan reprimanding her for partying too much and holding up the production of Georgia Rules, even calling her a “spoiled child” and threatening to hold her personally responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars wasted because she keeps missing work with “bogus excuses.” I’d nominate this thing for the Nobel prize in literature but that’d be unfair to the other contestants.
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Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
 Why Was This Celebrity Booed Off This Hit TV Show? – Fox News | |
| 50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
sita | July 28, 2006 at 3:18 pm
Lohan seriously lives at Chateau Marmont?
Ivana Mandalay | July 28, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Firecrotch really does live at a hotel. lol You’d think someone only worth $7 million (according to the drug infested Brandon Davis) would at least live in a house.
Mary45 | July 28, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Well you really don’t need a home when you party all night. You can just shop for more bikinis and bad outfits.
Funderpants | July 28, 2006 at 3:22 pm
lol — “we refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behavior”
classic.
endometriorama | July 28, 2006 at 3:22 pm
the smoking gun is god. this made my day.
blueballs | July 28, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Production companies will start to think twice about using her in a film. Causing monetary losses due to drug addiction doesn’t sit well. She will need to learn how to show up on time and read her lines while high or hung over.
christieb | July 28, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Someone should wake her up so she can read this. Plus, I’m sure it’s time for the maid to come clean the room.
Tracie | July 28, 2006 at 3:25 pm
They decided not to use her real address in the memo, seeing as they were going to leak it to the press and all, they didn’t want to be held libel themselves for the damage caused by releasing Ho-Han’s address to the general public. A big high five to Morgan Creek, this is classic!
Flush it all away | July 28, 2006 at 3:32 pm
I dunno…I know the Smoking Gun has almost impeccable credibility, but this letter just seems so over-the-top that it’s hard to believe.
I certainly believe that the exec would complain about diva-like behavior, but to threaten to hold an actress “personally accountable” and “pursue full monetary damages” that are in the “hundreds of thousands”? What, because she’s missed some call times and likes to party? (Because we know no Hollywood stars *ever* do that.)
Sorry, but I think this is a fraud.
SoftBlueGlow | July 28, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Can she even read?
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
Nikk The Templar | July 28, 2006 at 3:34 pm
OH MY GOD, HOHAN GOT PWNED.
Aeon | July 28, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Morgan Creek didn’t “decide not to use her real address”, and she doesn
Iambananas | July 28, 2006 at 3:36 pm
That’s so funny, she just got her ass handed to her in that letter. That’s exactly what she deserves. She needs to act professional.
babybunny | July 28, 2006 at 3:37 pm
skanky ho.give her a shelf life of 2 months
jrzpussie | July 28, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Blohan’s going to need a professional help to decipher words like “monetary charges” “conduct” and “hand delivery”… but she’ll soon flashback to her young days of prostituion while her Daddy fucked her up the a-hole for her weekly allowance
andrewthezeppo | July 28, 2006 at 3:38 pm
LOL,
now we all know where to send our fan mail to firecrotch
Aeon | July 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm
I talked to someone one of the offices on the cc list. This letter is not a fraud.
Iambananas | July 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm
THE
BANANA
IS
BACK
!
I
MADE
UP
“HO-HAN”
missykissy | July 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm
@15 – I’m pretty sure she knows what “hand delivery” means….
eatmyass_sherry-co | July 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm
In a perfect world this would be true. And if it does turn out to be true, I am buying a lottery ticket immediately. I will also promptly expect to see a letter release to the media from Tommy that he is in fact gay and Suri is really chia pet they wrapped in a blanket.
But I must agree with #9. It’s crap.
TCLTC
BestNameEver | July 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm
Best post EVER on The Superficial. This is pure gold. I hope it’s real.
babybunny | July 28, 2006 at 3:42 pm
I was reprimanded on jobs before and usually went to rehab post haste…maybe she should do that everyone forgives you when you go to rehab…and if you fuck up after rehab..try to not let anyone know…thats tricky, but usually it gets known quickly..cause you forget to show up for work again…
Sarah-Jean | July 28, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Well it’s about time someone told her to “shape up or ship out”. That is just what the little punk needed to hear!
I hope she takes the letter seriously and gets her act together.
It’s a shame that she acts soooo immature. She could be a big star, but not if she keeps living life a la Kate Moss.
gammanormids | July 28, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Good thing she got a dosis of real life. karma… karma….!!!!
andrewthezeppo | July 28, 2006 at 3:44 pm
On second thought this seems kinda bogus, its sooo over the top and poorly written.
I WANT to believe it, but it just doesn’t seem real.
Iambananas | July 28, 2006 at 3:44 pm
IMAGINE
A
MAN
.
.
.
MIDDLE
CLASS
.
.
.
GOES
TO
HIS
OFFICE
JOB
EVERY
DAY
AND
PROCESSES
PAPERS
.
TYPICAL
OFFICE
WORK
,
IMPORTANT
,
A
JOB
.
NOW
IMAGINE
THIS
MAN
COMES
TO
WORK
ONLY
WHEN
HE
WANTS
.
HE
COMES
HUNG
OVER
ALL
THE
TIME
.
HIS
ABSENCE
AT
THE
JOB
EFFECTS
THE
COMPANY
.
WHENEVER
HE
IS
SICK
,
HE
SIMPLY
DOES
NOT
COME
TO
WORK
.
WOULD
HE
GET
FIRED
?
ABSOLUTLY
.
I
AM
BOYCOTTING
GEORGIA
RULE
AND
SO
SHOULD
YOU
.
HEY
THAT
RHYMES
.
THE
BANANA
IS
BACK
.
BestNameEver | July 28, 2006 at 3:45 pm
#22:
Maybe another visit to rehab wouldn’t be so bad for you? *shrug*
King UBS | July 28, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Fake letter.
Shelf life of 2 months, huh? That’s just foolish.
jamiew | July 28, 2006 at 3:47 pm
I can imagine her becoming a recluse and sitting in her room playing Xbox all dayof course her xbox would have this:
http://www.sybarites.org/2006/07/18/christofle-sterling-silver-limited-edition-xbox-360-faceplate/
RichPort | July 28, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Hmmmmm… as much as I consider this firecrotch a national security issue, I’ll have to say the Morgan Creek is freaking stupid. They knew they were getting a party animal, hence being comforatble with asking her to go down on some guy on set. A nice responsible actress wouldn’t do that, but then a prude bitch wouldn’t have gotten the role. I think she was still tired from that anal gangbang at the Piven party, or in custody for arguing with hotel security for not being allowed to strut around in her bikini in the lobby. Good times man, good times.
Aeon | July 28, 2006 at 3:49 pm
People…this is a real letter.
King UBS | July 28, 2006 at 3:52 pm
Obvious fake.
Spindoc | July 28, 2006 at 3:52 pm
#9 Flush,
You say “Just because she missed some call times” to them that is a full day that they had to pay 500 employees on the movie and got no work done. In a small movie like this running up hundreds of thousands in bills can kill the budget. Additionally Movies are insured….but the insurance company won’t pay if the delays aren’t because of illness or injury. I.E. if they insurance company finds out she is just partied out they won’t cover the cost of her fucking up the movies budget.
Remember, the Smoking Gun is owned by ABC, it isn’t an independent site. If they printed something False, ABC is liable for Millions. This is real. The best part is that they aren’t even allowing her publicists to pretend that everything is ok. They released this letter and confirmed it when the Smoking gun called. LOL!!!!!!! Fun’s over coke whore!!!
rori | July 28, 2006 at 3:53 pm
As much as this letter gave me joy, can I point out, Mr. Superfish, that the movie is actually called Georgia Rule and not Georgia Rules?
But yeah. I’m glad someone’s taking a shot at La Lohan.
adamstevens123 | July 28, 2006 at 3:53 pm
I am one of the few that actually like L. Lohan. But she deserved this letter and I think it is real. She has been acting like a trashy drunken whore for a while….
a_fond_reader | July 28, 2006 at 3:53 pm
# 9 and # 20 – I refer you here:
http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1220230,00.html
If you don’t feel like going there then all you need to know is that people magazine has contacted Morgan creek productions and had a representative confirm that the letter is authentic.
So it is a perfect world.
Linnea | July 28, 2006 at 3:54 pm
I love the world today. The only thing that could make this moment better is a unicorn magically appearing and goring Hohan to death while she’s “powdering her nose.”
endometriorama | July 28, 2006 at 3:54 pm
i also like how her skank mother received a copy.
pinky_nip | July 28, 2006 at 3:58 pm
Whenever I show up hung over & late to work, I just wear a short skirt, and then my boss gives me a raise. Duh!
Of course this fugly chick couldn’t get a raise out of yeast.
em | July 28, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Her rep didn’t have a comment? Her rep ALWAYS has a comment. It’s gotta be legit.
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 28, 2006 at 4:08 pm
I’ve had co-workers stopping by and asking me if my mom died from the tears streaming down my face. This is hysterical. Do you realize how bad she must be to generate this kind of dispatch? Hollywood condones, looks the other way, or excuses away such behavior all the time. It’s a given that an actor or actress is going to be a pain in the ass. For her to have the head of Morgan Creek issue this speaks volumes. The egg timer on her career is officially started. In a bizarre bit of irony, MORGAN Mayhem is the name Ted Casablancas bequeathed to Linds for his blind items and MORGAN Creek is the aggrieved party. Bet that Jeremey Piehole party doesn’t seem so rockin’ now, does it Firecrotch?
sharkbite | July 28, 2006 at 4:10 pm
I wish I lived at the Chateau Marmont.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
CoJo | July 28, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Superfish- You are totally on your game today! This story is what makes me keep coming back! This made my day!
Proteon | July 28, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Wow so much awesome shit in one post. This is perhaps the best thing EVER on this site.
1) the phrase “spoiled child” was written into this professional letter which was cc’d to a handfull of uber rich movie assholes. Only in Hollywood.
b) use of the phrase makes me think the writer (who went on to sign “sincerely”) hoped this letter would make this kind of circulation
3) these are the same people who actually CAST her to begin with
4) Is this the quality film where she is blowing the long haired guy in a gondola?
e) Morgan Creek hasn’t put out a good movie in years; this letter was a promotinoal stunt.
g) thank you stalkerazi for all the morgan creek contact info
z) people filming movies tend to stay in hotels you unbeleivably stupid fuckers.
kaileykat | July 28, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Proteon, it is really ironic that you are calling people “stupid fuckers,” since you really need to learn how to spell.
Toodles!
Aeon | July 28, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Proteon. I love you A to Z. Especially Z.
jane's eyre | July 28, 2006 at 4:28 pm
I think this is the beginning of the perfect world that the Jehovah’s Witnesses Watchtower tracts depict. Soon we’ll be seeing rainbows splashing in magnificent display across a crystal-clear sky, children will be laughing, no one will be sad, angry, etc., and we’ll all get our own friendly fuzzy lion and lamb combo. Ahhhhhh…
Aeon | July 28, 2006 at 4:38 pm
Kaileykat: You
BarbadoSlim | July 28, 2006 at 4:40 pm
PS: Cocaine’s a helluva drug.
Dictated but not read.
magickal | July 28, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Oh, YES!!! Thank you, God. This cunty little whore finally is getting what she deserves! I love all the cc’s too. What will that no-talent ass clown of a publicist of hers actually be able to do for damage control? I guarantee it will refer back to the “supposed” “heat exhaustion” and make Morgan Creek or whoever the fuck the production company is look like eveil gnomes for forcing her to work while out with a doctor’s excuse. Fuck that fucking twat faced coke whore little fuck.