Because not all cokedealers accept blowjobs, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million over a Super Bowl ad featuring a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay (after the jump). The New York Post reports:
The ad — part of a series starring babies who play the stock market — features a boy apologizing to his girlfriend via video chat for not calling her the night before.
“And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” the baby girl asks him suspiciously.
“Lindsay?” the boy replies, just before a baby girl sticks her head into the frame and slurs, “Milk-a-what?”
Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said.
“They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”
Yes, clearly, the baby was a hilarious reference to Lindsay, but did her lawyer seriously just equate her with Oprah and Madonna? How do you not get disbarred for that? That’s like taking the oath then equating Britney Spears with someone’s who literate and understands children aren’t footstools. This whole system’s out of order!
spinal | March 9, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Word @ 42.
Been saying for a while the whole site would be funnier if Randal wrote the captions.
Rich | March 9, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Give me a break, she is just trying to get some easy money, after all, who wants to hire a skanky crackhead whose career is over. She should pull those leggins over her ugly face.
HilarityIWantYou | March 9, 2010 at 5:46 pm
What next? Is she going to sue Amtrak the next time they have a TRAIN WRECK?!?
Rich | March 9, 2010 at 5:48 pm
She probably would have also sued them if the babys’ name was crackhead or dyke, claiming ‘infringement’.
bar room hero | March 9, 2010 at 6:09 pm
This slag is delusional from all the coke n’ booze…
Pretty soon she will look like the typical ‘bar wench’ that I usually see at my regular bar. She knows her career is done and is apparently grasping at straws for anything.
Dread not | March 9, 2010 at 6:13 pm
@ 10
Hey, Randal, You full puckered celeb ass smacker! This is the type of shit Daddy Lohan would try to pull to scam some/any cash he could to support his nefarious endeavors. Lindsay is her Daddy’s lil’ girl, you road cone. As for Lindsay being a HUGE celebrity name, to who? When was the last time this chick was in a video that didn’t involve a security tape. She’s irrelevant. If she has to stoop to this kind of antic to keep her name circulating, along with confessing to be a hoarder and how tore up she is about her year old break up with Sam Ronson, what’s that tell you? When was the last time Lindsay stole a guy? She’s slappin’ sushi now. And the only friggen time Lohan is drinking milk is when she’s slammin’ White Russians. So get bent, you knob!
KIKI | March 9, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Dang Dread, High Five!
Jammy | March 9, 2010 at 6:47 pm
LMAO @ 16
kitty_kat | March 9, 2010 at 6:58 pm
What about the fact that she’s a “milkaholic”? This is obviously a cheap shot at Lindsay Lohan.
And PS: Just because you hate her (and I’m not fond of her myself) doesn’t mean that she isn’t famous enough to be known by her first name. Because she is. When anyone mentions “Lindsay” in a Hollywood context, you tell me that 9/10 Lohan isn’t who you’re thinking of.
Randal Forever! | March 9, 2010 at 7:20 pm
alas, dear friends, fellow readers,
the real Randal graced us and left almost a year ago. Only us die-hards and tweakers resurrect his name and troll him.
Tailwinds, Randal, wherever you are.
KIKI | March 9, 2010 at 7:21 pm
I saw this commercial during the superbowl and did not associate the name Lindsay to Linsay Lohan. I like celeb gossip and read about Lindsay Lohan at least once a day, so don’t tell me you actually think this lawsuit is anything other than this ugly bitch trying to keep relevant.
BEA | March 9, 2010 at 7:31 pm
She’s just so desperate! Well coke is not cheap after all…dumb whore
Ren | March 9, 2010 at 7:36 pm
When she talks compares herself to Madona etc, she’s infact explaining her *Notoriety. And really when I hear Lindsay, I make a connection to Lindsay Lohan. The company does not owe her all the money she’s asking but some for their parody.
farty mcshitface | March 9, 2010 at 8:26 pm
holy shit, just think of how much red bull, vodka and blow she could buy with 100 million!
she could go for another couple of months at least!
djfred | March 9, 2010 at 8:38 pm
“OMG! I so love your Lindsay leggings!” has to be one of the greatest sentences ever devised by human beings. The fact that no one has ever said it out loud before now is exactly the point. Somewhere Randal is cracking up at the fact that there are actually people stupid enough to think he’s serious about anything he writes here.
I don’t want to mention names, but rhymes with Smilkaholic.
HB | March 9, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Holy shit, this is seriously the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. What a narcissistic crack vacuum. I hope she gets put in her place.
zuzuspetals | March 9, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Lindsay Lohan is out of her fucking mind. What a stupid whore.
KumaTenshi | March 9, 2010 at 10:06 pm
100 million?? …….someone’s obviously broke and desperate!!
Lindsay being a single name recognition my ass. Anyone who has that, is that way ~because~ their name is very weird/rare, not widespread like this stupid bitch’s. Not to mention, those people actually DID things to make them famous and well known…..good things! For the most part…..not being a fucking coke whore who fucks their life up at every possible second they can.
r4 firmware | March 9, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Can u please feel proud of an american girl that hit WORLD FASHION IN EUROPE please all the press in europe say good thing about her debut, we most wait to the next seasons she will be better coz, estrella is an awesome designer
GG1000 | March 10, 2010 at 2:12 am
So her argument is that, when you say “_aholic” everyone’s going to think of her? Does she really want to put that in writing in a court proceeding? What a pathetic dumb@ss.
What a moron | March 10, 2010 at 2:33 am
Hohan is DELUDED if she thinks she’s a one name celebrity. Say “Britney” & we all know who it is; say Lindsay & it could be any number of actresses/singers. It would have been one thing if the advert had said “blowhan” or something like that. She’s no Cher or Madonna; she’s just a broke deluded cokewhore. She’s going to lose this case bigtime, because it’s going to get tossed as frivilous.
PS – Randal, you are the biggest limp wrist around here. Stop being such a suckup gayyyboy; you’re such a swish that Elton John says “damn, that boy is a flamer…”
Eat a bullet, Hohan! | March 10, 2010 at 2:41 am
If I were blowhan, and had all of the following going for me
1) Snorted my movie career away
2) Singing career is dead
3) My dj’ing clears dance floors everywhere
4) Got fired from my “fashion” house because my line is an embarrassment
5) The only gigs I can get is fashion shoots (where I dress as Marilyn Monroe) that are highjacked by my mom white oprah, or selling blowjob leggings
I’d eat a bullet. My question is, why hasn’t she? C’mon, blowhan; bullets are tasty…
Richport's Ghost | March 10, 2010 at 4:23 am
If the baby spread its legs, banged 10 guys at once, smoked a pack of cigarettes and did 5 lines of blow while pounding Jack & Cokes, she might have a fucking case.
sd card | March 10, 2010 at 5:22 am
He’s always been delusional, but today he is reaching new heights never before seen.
captain america | March 10, 2010 at 6:25 am
her next step: CRYING FOR ATTENTION, folks!!
………bet?
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UGH | March 10, 2010 at 7:28 am
Fish, can’t you ban spamming tools like #76 from posting?? And remove the above post? It’s a freaking eyesore.
Lohan has really gone crazy from the drugs if she thinks she’s a one-name celebrity like madonna and oprah and britney. That baby was NOT meant to be like her, I NEVER thought of her when i first saw that ad.
out of her mind | March 10, 2010 at 7:58 am
Get off the drugs Lindsay–have you progressed to LSD?! Delusional bitch
aly | March 10, 2010 at 8:19 am
….. scary. the botox is clearly seeping into her brain, creating a wasteland of an alternate reality where she doesn’t get lip injections and she’s a single name celeb. first one to run to the rags to confess her drug habits, tv to show off her organization skills, etc… wtf. you are your own defamer, tard. you wish you were a milkaholic…
Anna | March 10, 2010 at 10:32 am
Did she just gain a massive amount of weight or what? Her face looks so bloated and fleshy in these pictures, you can’t find her collerbone/clavicle anywhere (used to look like they could cut glass) and in that one picture where you can see more of her body than just her face (covering up for any reason?), her upper body & arm look larger. She’s hiding her body pretty well in that huge coat. She looks horrible. She needed to gain a bit of weight, but looks like she went a bit overboard.
Delmar | March 10, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Well, I definitely thought Lindsay Lohan as soon as I heard “milkoholic LIndsay”. Why give the baby a name? Why does the baby have red hair and similar eye color as Lindsay Lohan? You don’t think etrade was going for as much buzz as possible by alluding to a real person? This really isn’t Lindsay’s suit. I remember Lindsay’s response at the superbowl being good natured and joking. I think Dina made up Lindsay crying and overstates Lindsay’s reaction and the suit is her idea. The words “Lindsay has one-name recognition like Cher or Madonna” are Dina’s, not Lindsay’s. Dina wanted to sue to make a statement and maybe look for it not to happen again with other advertising firms.
Lynn | March 10, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Britney’s dad refuses to let his daughter talk to Lindsay. Maybe Lindsay should read “Britney Spears: Little Girl Lost”. It could be her new career-comeback handguide. Good luck to her. Check it out on Amazon!
TER | March 10, 2010 at 8:09 pm
She is the biggest IDIOT…. I hope she loses her ass in that law suit and that she has to pay Etrade for defamation of their logo…. No one wants a coke-ass whore repping them
Linzi Rachel | March 11, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I had to comment on this because my name IS Linzi – what the hell is she on about?! Im I owned by her now because I have the same name? Its not even an unusual name its pretty common, what an idiot!
poor Lindsay | March 11, 2010 at 7:15 pm
When I first read this I figured it must be someone’s idea of a joke. Now I just think it’s sad. How desperate has she become? No one will take her seriously after this. She’s either: looking for money, looking for attention, and/or now suffers from chemically-induced brain injury. It really is sad.
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