Lindsay Lohan cashes in her lesbian relationship

Lindsay Lohan got a momentary break from the shitfest that is her life when People magazine reported Samantha Ronson is NOT pursuing a restraining order:

Ronson’s attorney, David Bass, tells PEOPLE: “Samantha has no plan to request a restraining order. There is no basis for one.”
And a source close to the deejay offers this spin: “Sam does not want a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan. Sam had nothing to do with the restraining order against Lindsay that the police are talking about.”

Of course, by that point, Lindsay had already sold her harrowing tale of love lost to Us Weekly which is the equivalent of a career death rattle:

“I’m not a bad person and this is what happens,” Lohan told Us through tears. “I was raised to treat people well, and I’m so tired of this drama.”
Lohan says she’s “so alone” without Ronson.
“Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, bitch.”
“I’m a f–king 22-year-old girl who’s in love,” she says. “I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie.”

Wow, nice Mean Girls plug, Lindsay. Glad you could see through the unimaginable sadness to pitch your only successful film. If you wanted to be more subtle, you could’ve ran naked through Hollywood tossing headshots like confetti. — Actually, you should do still that. Make that stuff happen.

Adding… Drea De Matteo, will you marry me?

Photos: WENN