Lindsay Lohan can deport girlfriends

llohan-ratner-fight.jpgLindsay Lohan got into a fight at Brett Ratner’s house after finding him in bed with his girlfriend, Romanian model Alina Puscau. A source says:

“Brett wasn’t returning any of her calls, so she decided to stop by and say hi. Brett never told Lindsay he had a girlfriend. She had no idea. He is constantly e-mailing, texting and calling her. She just wanted to hang out. He had given her the code to his house and told her to come over anytime, so she went.”

But after showing up at the house, she was shocked to find Ratner in bed with Puscau.

“Alina jumped out of bed and went ballistic. They started screaming at each other and took the fight first into the living room and then out to the driveway while Brett hid in the bedroom. Lindsay said she could get Alina deported and left. What she doesn’t know is that Alina and Brett are so serious, he gave her a big diamond promise ring last November which she wears on her right hand. She doesn’t care that he may cheat. She’s got the big diamond ring. Brett is a 37-year-old man, and Lindsay is a 19-year-old girl. Enough! He needs to stop bothering her, it’s embarrassing. Lindsay is happily dating [Keira Knightley’s ex] Jamie Dornan – she just wanted to be friends with Brett.”

Isn’t it obvious Linday just wants to be friends with Ratner? Dr. Phil says the best way to build a friendship is to threaten to have your friend’s girlfriend deported. Especially if they ate your last Twinkie. How’s Siberia, bitch? I told you being born in Michigan doesn’t matter if you know a guy who knows a guy.