Lindsay Lohan bulks up

llohan_boujis.jpgLindsay Lohan has hired exercise coach Justin Gelband to help her put on some weight and get her boobs back, and has allegedly already gone up two dress sizes.

“I’m working out with a trainer and eating healthily. I want my boobs back.”

It’s nice that she finally realizes how important her breasts were for her career, but obviously the cocaine has already melted her brain, since hiring somebody to help you gain weight is about as pointless as hiring somebody to help you get old. I know it’s a pretty radical idea, but maybe she should try eating some food. Or garbage. You know, pretty much anything that ends up in her stomach is okay with me. Even poison.

Note – I’m kidding about the poison thing. What I meant to say was bleach or detergent. Thanks to Ryan for the tip.