Lindsay Lohan becomes even more pathetic, starts Twitter-ing

April 6th, 2009 // 60 Comments

As if Lindsay Lohan’s life wasn’t shitty enough, she’s turned to Twitter-ing about her break-up with Samantha Ronson. The two apparently got into a slugfest Saturday at the Chateau Marmont forcing employees to call the police. Lindsay was even photographed outside posing for the paps when the cops arrive. She, of course, denies the whole thing, according to Us Magazine:

A source close to Lohan, though, insists it was the Ronson family who stayed in a room below her at the Chateau Marmont and “blasted music and would not let Samantha leave the room to meet Lindsay.”
On her Twitter page, Lohan posted to Ronson: PLEASE leave me ALONE. and stop staying in the room below me, you’ve woken me and my mother up. go to bed. keep cheating u win.
In addition to accusing Ronson of cheating on her, Lohan also slammed her for badmouting her to People magazine.
Lohan disputes there was any drama, despite multiple sources, witnesses and her Twitter page telling Us otherwise.

When you get dumped from your fake lesbian relationship and turn to Twitter, it’s time to bow out of sight gracefully. And by “gracefully” I mean “driving a dump truck full of blow over Niagara Falls.” You know you want to.

Photos: Flynet

  1. PunkA

    Yawn. Seriously, this is staged. Bank on this happening:

    1) Break up with Sam. Make it look good. Gets plenty of cash from paps for photos. Use Twitter to make it “real time”.
    2) do some porn for the guy who loaned her the car. Get it distributed. Make loads of cash. Mom gets her cut and is so proud that I am back on top. Or will I be on bottom? Both??
    3) after fake porn tape is released (See KK and PH), pretend to be mad. Fake a lawsuit in attempt to save reputation.
    4) settle out of court. Win huge cash award. That way, it looks like a settlement figure, not payment for doing porn.
    5) try to get career back. Start with something kid friendly, then go edgy. Wait, no calls?
    6) still have no career. binge on coke and alcohol. Go back to Sam.
    7) Repeat.

  2. Thats a hot outfit

  3. *sigh*

    Are we there yet? (Armageddon)

  4. Richard McBeef

    I haven’t seen anything that hot since the brits liberated Bergen-Belsen in ’45.

  5. The pap couldnt zero in on those heaving bosoms? its a c-through shirt! 4crying out loud…

  6. I can’t wait until she starts Twittering from the porn set… “This old guy just spunked on my face, ewww. But today’s payday and they told me last time was just a fluke and I’ll definitely get the full 2 grams this time. Life is good.”

  7. George W Bush

    I haven’t seen a stick figure with tits like that before! Kudos to Lesbay and showing off a little nipple! I mean, all celebs that are worth doing should follow her lead.

    As far as her relationship with Captain Mangina (Samantha Hatescocksson) goes, I think we could all do without that. If she wanted to do the lesbian thing with another chick we could get off to, that would be a different story. Finally, a use for Heida Montag! Picture those two brainiacs in a one on one (or me included) sweaty love fest!!!

  8. Clorox Anal wipes

    @6 – I believe that would have exceeded Twitter’s 140 character length. I think it would go like this:

    Old guy spunked on my face. Life is good.

  9. cp

    She looks terrible. “Rode hard and put away wet” really comes to mind. I think she was at her best-looking with the dark hair, a long time ago. She looked healthy then and it was striking on her.

  10. J

    She needs reverse liposuction, ….lipoblowstion?

  11. Ann Coulter

    As if more proof were needed, here it is: homosexuality is a disease.

  12. Obi Wan

    disgusting skeletor

  13. I call 'em as I see 'em

    HAHAHA #3 hahhahahahaha
    the best comment EVER.

  14. RichPort's Ghost

    I’d say something extremely witty and clever here, further proving myself to be the most righteous and enlightened poster on this website, but’s website is down right now, and I can’t copy and paste any of my liberal propoganda and pass it off as my own thoughts until it’s back up and running again.

  15. I dont think she’s that bad…maybe its becuase I look just like her only skankier?

  16. shoopy

    Brimmer would you really bang sam ronson?

  17. yawn

    all that coke makes you do stupid shit.

  18. I really regret that one time my wife was out of town and I whacked off to Mean Girls… what? Don’t you judge me.

    #14 – Sorry dick, never even been to that website. As I recall, you’re the one beating this dead horse (which is exactly what I said to your mom when she tried to give me a third hand job in a row…) But thanks for playing.

  19. Randal

    Lindsay is one beautiful young lady that has grabbed style by the horns. Loving the red painted nails that match from top to bottom along with that tight hot outfit.

    You’ve got so much going for you girl, move on.


  20. screenwriter

    Cut to #14′s bedroom. It’s nighttime. #14 is lying in bed, naked, holding a printout of RichPort’s last friendly-humorous jab toward #14 from long ago, tears in his eyes…masturbating bitterly.

  21. dianne

    Look at how skinny she’s getting…

  22. Yikes

    @21…Hot, ain’t it! GAWD, I would much on that till she bled.

  23. #20 – you forgot, “mouth agape, just his favorite uncle used to make him do…”

  24. Hugh Jorgan

    #1 perfect! just perfect! and you got firsties!

  25. Figurehead Ape in the White House

    I’m B’lack Oboombox,

    And by spending $12 million of your US tax dollars on my 32 new Teleprompter’s, so I can repeat very eloquently what my puppetmasters write for me, I’ll create jobs.

    Also, by tightening environmental restrictions on industries in the US so much that they are forced to go out of business and fire all their employees, I’ll create more jobs!

    Furthermore, by forcing everyone to join a union, making every product in the US non-competitive in the world market, forcing all manufacturing companies to fire all their workers, I’ll create even more jobs! Change!

    And for the last time RichPort’s Ghost, stop sending me naked pictures of yourself, I’m not going to stick my tiny black penis in your ass or mouth.

  26. John

    I never thought I would say this but I actually feel sorry for her.

  27. John

    I never thought I would say this but I actually feel sorry for her.

  28. Harry

    “Mean Girls” was on TV last night, and — Good God this girl was hot then, and she clearly had the capability to be a huge star. But she blew it, with plenty of help from her parents. Never say never, but she’s pretty close to reaching a tipping point of being a has been. Then again, I thought that about Mickey Rourke. Maybe someone will resurrect her career, but it’s probably far down the line, and not without some growing up on her part.

  29. justifiable

    So I’m assuming Seth Rogan never called back? Sean Penn must be devastated not to be working with them both.

    #14, your best efforts are all in that pile of wadded-up tissues in the corner, learn not to share them here.

  30. lovekokeskank

    She is way too skinny, I love the skank but that takes it too far.

  31. Outside Observer

    RichPort’s Ghost/Justifiable (same person)
    is it gratifying to comment to yourself about yourself under different assumed names? You’ve got a whole fleet of lackies going on in that fucked up head of yours.

  32. #25's an idiot

    #25, Yeah, and George W. Bush didn’t have ANY puppetmasters…

    BTW, you barely literate jerk; it’s obvious that you are simply jealous that someone you believe to be inferior to you possesses far greater intellect- hence your name calling and ignorant rants. Go read an international newspaper, you complete nincompoop, and stop watching Fox News.

  33. OMG

    The HILLS returns TONIGHT @ 10pm/9c on MTV!

  34. Monkey's Bone

    That is it !!
    I’ve HAD it !!!
    I bid this site farewell forever.

    When I clk on a storyline, and it opens yet a full page spread of a show I’ll never watch (The Fucking ‘HILLS’ ) comes on my PC screen over the top of it – This site is to fucked-up for me. I detest commercials, I hate TV soaps. I abhor popups.

    I’ll find something better than a TV commercial.

    Good-Bye Stupor-ficial

  35. mikeock

    She must have worn out the knees in those pants laying carpet.

    Hey – that comment works on two levels.

  36. mikeock

    is there anybody over the age of 18 and make who actually watches The Hills? I mean, besides gay guys who live with their mother.

  37. justifiable

    #31 Please, Rich has been posting here way before I came on the scene. I’d say it’s actually flattering to me that you consider our styles to be similar, but since you’re a moron you have no real ability to discern much of anything. You DO like to assume that one or two people here loathe you – and if there’s only one out there with multiple log-ons that’s just more comforting than your right thumb or your binky, right?
    If only you knew.

    If only I cared.

  38. Gando

    She stopped twattering and started twittering.Where did we hear this before?

  39. Galtacticus

    What’s her age? Anybody knows?

  40. Darth

    Who are these the hills bitches? What’s their phonenumber? Anybody knows?

  41. Angry Face

    shes so thin, it makes me sad.

  42. ladodgurs22

    Will this nasty bitch quite complaining about how much she loves Samatha and needs her in her life. She needs to make up her mind about if she is or isn’t a lesbian. When is this fucking twig just gonna go away? As much as they’re fighting, it proves that they can’t stand being around one another, and hopefully they’ll now just both reconcial once more and die together. Which will make this world a more happy place to be.

  43. Pilatunes

    Someone told me that there was a time when she was sort of hot. That must have been a long time ago. Because now she looks like a strung out meth addict that gets by on Lucky Strikes and Vanilla Coke.

  44. sin

    Once Lindsey goes back to cock full time, she will fill out. She is a swallower, not a spitter. All of that extra protein will do her good. Als, #1 has it right on her plans. Bad part will be is that she is even too bad an actor to do porn well.

  45. I call 'em as I see 'em

    #40, her age is 154;
    or 22 in human years…

  46. I'm a Computer

    i would kill to poop in lindsay lohan’s mouth! omFg i love her!!

  47. Marketta

    selfish lovers rarely make good porn.
    I’m guessing she’s a selfish one.
    sad, would’ve liked some twisted porn from that one.

  48. Insatiable Peter

    What I wouldn’t give to see her, in fact, “drive a dump truck full of blow over Niagra Falls.” I believe this line merits the Nobel.

  49. elle

    in case anybodys interested, highly unlikely i know, lindsay has set her myspace status to single (saMAN has no status at all).

    NEWS: according to her myspace, she has a new album coming out / is giving being the next britney spears another try. she also kindly provides us with a 30 second listening example / an impression of what hell must be like.

    u can read her whole rant on perez hilton…

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