Lindsay Lohan hooks up with Sean Penn, shills for MySpace

December 8th, 2008 // 46 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has been out and about by herself recently which can only mean one thing: She’s on the hunt for penis. And she reportedly found some in the pants of Sean Penn, according to FOX News:

At Sean Penn’s private dinner for Milk last week at downtown/far west eatery The John Dory — in which the former Jeff Spicoli has invested — Lohan showed up sans partner Samantha Ronson. Sources say she immediately sidled up to Penn, who took her under his wing, so to speak. “They nuzzled,” says my observer, before taking off for an after party somewhere in the bowels of Chelsea, no doubt.

However, Lindsay shot down rumors that she’s given up fake lesbianism on her blog this morning. And by shot down rumors I mean wrote the most horribly veiled advertisement for MySpace:

all in all-they should just stop asking altogether, once and for all if she and i are broken up because frankly, if we ever ever did…. i would say it before they could even think of asking. i’d say it here probably… i say everything here on myspace. okay. well, i hope that all the gossip magazines and sites, and lurkers read this cuz it’s not true. ahh! i love myspace because i can just write, and i love writing, and i can prove all the liars wrong… wow- the people that make shit up must really feel silly, embarrassed, out of stories, scr*w*d, f*ck*d, punk’d, and so much more. because, i can use myspace and just let everyone know what’s really going on. which is so much more fun! cuz now, people can get to know the REAL me. yay!

And, apparently, the “real” Lindsay loves getting paid by MySpace with a dump truck full of blow and dildos. It’s like we’re BFFs! Whee!

Photos: Flynet

  1. havoc

    She may be a coke head fake lesbian, but I can with certainty say that I would still wreck the shit outta that…..


  2. Bad Lindsay!!! Yuck!!

  3. Kiki

    She’s getting so thin. Her stomach looks great, but when she’s at this weight, her face starts to look like her mom’s.

  4. Adrienne

    Aw i love lindsay lohan! shes so cute i would wana eat out her pussy

  5. Deacon Jones


    This bitch definitely is ramping up for the penis explosion party, t-minus 2 months and counting. I’d like to go a little style on her.

    Great site, found it yesterday while I watched the Eagles beat the shit out of the Giants, you pussy Giants fans!!!!

  6. Bob

    She is looking much better these days…. I am sure there is still all kinds of nasty stuff living in her hootch tho…

  7. Vince Lombardi

    Nuzzling with Sean Penn definitely makes her still a lesbian.

  8. Bickus Dickus

    I just added Lindsay to my Dead Pool list. She won’t survive new years. My guess is she’ll choke on SaMANtha Ronson’s cock.

  9. Is that the real FRIST??

  10. french_guy

    she lost her gigantic boobs !!! She’s too thin !!!

  11. So how long before Sean Penn’s dick falls of?? Everyone know he is a pussy and now he has been rubbed with the juices of a fire crotch lesbian..

  12. Kyle

    She’s got that cokehead look about her. (drawn, thin, manic)

    She’s a mess. Glad to see her fond of dick again.

  13. veggi

    You don’t have to worry about her firecrotch. At this point, she’d give the most enthusiastic blowjob in history. With even more eye-popping deep-throat gagging than Frist did after her boyfriend proposed.

  14. Massa'

    she looked her best in Mean Girls, which is a few years old now. She had those gigantic tits, and she was pretty in the face, and had nice curves. Now she looks like a 40-year old junkie. Such a waste.

    She’s probably gonna have to start dating porch monkeys once she decides to go back to the cock, because I can’t see any White guys wanting to fuck this firecrotch junkie ho…..

  15. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    Damn I love this site. I can always find a good laugh here. helped make my tour in Iraq not as sucky as it could have been. That and the two Army chicks in the hootch next to me always wanting me to take pictures of them.

  16. xxnubyxx

    #4 pussy 4 herpies. I’m definitely sure a loser like you would take that trade off and then proudly spread it to some innocent monkey or farm animal.

  17. Chauncey Gardner

    Lindsay obviously thought she was nuzzling with Samantha. Easy mistake.

  18. What the...?

    This chick writes like an 11 year old. Clearly she’s about as smart as a bag of hammers.

  19. Sport

    She has the scariest skin ive ever seen. And her face looks like she is about 50. Nice juggs, but there are plenty of those without all the other baggage.

    Die already, would ya Lindsey? You are a no talent childslut.

  20. Yeah, it’s me ya been??

  21. Pathetic Worm

    Sean Penn’s sperm took off for an after-after party somewhere in the bowels of Lindsay. Unless he finished over her back, I don’t know.

  22. Clara

    She is not news worthy stop writing about her she is a waste of time just let her go and have her drinks of beer and whiskey she is a damn drunk

  23. @20, I have been fine, where have you been??

  24. FRIST!!!

    Lindsay might as well start taking porch monkey cock, she’s a wasted piece of white meat not worthy for white dick. Breeding with apes is her next logical step.

  25. FRIST!!!

    I agree #14, If you look throughout history, the only time black people were useful and organized is when they were slaves. I say we bring back slavery and let the owners of the porch monkeys mead out discipline as seen fit.

    Every other race or ethnic group has been able to come to America and thrive within a generation, (Asians, Indians, Arabs, Germans, Russians, Jews etc) with little or no help from anybody, especially the government. But blacks are just incapable of success, even with more help available to them from the gov’t then any other minority group. So the sooner we realize that Bobo’s are just an inferior species and stop trying to let them control their own lives, the better off we’ll be.

  26. lulzzzzz

    She really should have stayed in school. This is a grown woman who still writes like my niece, who is in 7th grade, btw :O

  27. joe m

    It’s amazing that so many ugly losers
    are so jealous of beautiful Lindsay.

  28. Aja

    I agree with #27, Joe. It’s so true. She is so beautiful, look at her hair, skin, bone structure and style. I think she is the most, if not one of the most gorgeous actresses of this generation. Underrated.

  29. Ted Mosby

    I’ll say it: Sean gave her his Milk.

  30. #24 and 25, bite me, ya racist microwave scraping..

  31. Tom K

    She owes 50 cent money because he loanded her like 5 million so I’m sure she gave his ugly ass some fire cracked out crotch pussy!

  32. Tom K

    She owes 50 cent money because he loaned her like 5 million so I’m sure she gave his ugly ass some fire cracked out crotch pussy!

  33. Tom K

    She owes 50 cent money because he loaned her like 5 million so I’m sure she gave his ugly ass some fire cracked out crotch pussy!

  34. Balls McCoy

    Samantha Ronson and now Sean Penn?

    I guess Lohan really is attracted to pussy!

    @31,32,33 1-2-3 strikes your out!

    @15 thanks for your service.

  35. titsonsnack

    For the love of fuck, she looks like Malcom in the Middle wearing a wig. I don’t know where people are getting this most-beautiful-actress-ever bullshit. She’s fucking Frankie Muniz in drag.

  36. Me 2

    These are probably the first halfway decent picture of her in 2 years. She needs to accept the fact that she looks best with long, straight, red hair…and also that she’s not a lesbian.

  37. Gerald_Tarrant

    I thought Sean Penn was a fag. First he marries Madonna, who certainly looks like she may have a cock hidden down there, then he cheats (probably with a dude) on Robin Wright (she was fucking Buttercup), and then complains because there isn’t enough anal loving in Milk so they put more scrotum juggling in.

    Sean needs to just marry Tom Cruise because TCLTC and SPLTC.

  38. BoogieWoogieBugleBoyOfCompanyB

    I would so kill it from behind.

  39. liv

    ah she’s still so so so so hot.

  40. very good possible: A NEW LOSER’S COUPLE IS BORN, folks!!
    (lilo attracts FAGGOTS)

  41. BoogieWoogieBugleBoyOfCompanyB

    Vector Motors is looking for a bailout.

  42. Jiggy

    Honestly does anyone even care? She’s ugly as fuck and washed up.

  43. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  44. Mitch

    She looks sexy in these photos. I want to crawl up inside her butthole and start a campfire.

  45. BoogieWoogieBugleBoyOfCompanyB

    You mean warshed up.

  46. tc

    I honestly can’t see what the attraction is.

    She is just another chick with a receding hairline as far as I can tell.

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