Lindsay Lohan and her dad are saints

The Superficial / September 18, 2007

Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan visited her in rehab a month ago. He had remained quiet on the visit until now. Michael talked to the U.K.’s News of the World about Lindsay’s improvement. Here’s what he had to say, as reported by Star Magazine:

On the first time seeing his daughter in years
“As soon as I arrived, Lindsay rushed into my arms and curled up in my lap and sobbed like a baby. Lindsay said, ‘Daddy, I have done some terrible things and been addicted to drugs but please believe me I will never do drugs again.'”

On how his divorce from Dina Lohan affected Lindsay
“Lindsay said since me and her mom had split her life had just not been the same. My heart ached and I was racked with guilt.”

On Lindsay’s current state
He says Lindsay is enthusiastic about her new lifestyle in rehab. She spends most of her hours scribbling song ideas on a notepad, gardening, and caring for the center’s horses.
“These are the things normal people take for granted. Things which Lindsay has not done for a long time because she has been wasted on drugs. I have seriously not seen her this happy in years.”

On the state of another troubled starlet
“You only have to look at the poor state Britney Spears is in to know living in Hollywood is not good for these young girls. Lindsay and I both pray Britney can turn her life around too.”

Lindsay Lohan and her dad are praying for Britney Spears. I want to say I can come up with a funnier punch-line, but, seriously, how do you beat that? I’ve written some hilarious shit in my day, but that takes the cake. Michael, I’m sending you my King of Comedy crown. Yeah, it might be a Burger King crown with “King Funny” written in magic marker, but wear it proudly. I don’t know how to get the French fry smell off of it. Maybe you can ask Britney Spears. When you’re done praying for her soul, of course. Ha! Michael Lohan, ladies and gentleman. The true master of comedy.