Lindsay Lohan admits to not being sober

Just as everybody suspected, the ‘Ninety Days’ sobriety chip Lindsay Lohan wore yesterday didn’t represent her own sobriety. A rep for Lindsay says:

“It was a tribute to a friend who’s been sober 90 days.”

There’s something ironic about Lindsay Lohan celebrating a friend’s sobriety. It’d be like Mel Gibson celebrating Hanukkah or Paris Hilton celebrating the formation of MENSA. Or me celebrating not having the strength of a bear and the virility of a horse.