Lindsay Lohan admits to not being sober

November 3rd, 2006 // 230 Comments

Just as everybody suspected, the ‘Ninety Days’ sobriety chip Lindsay Lohan wore yesterday didn’t represent her own sobriety. A rep for Lindsay says:

“It was a tribute to a friend who’s been sober 90 days.”

There’s something ironic about Lindsay Lohan celebrating a friend’s sobriety. It’d be like Mel Gibson celebrating Hanukkah or Paris Hilton celebrating the formation of MENSA. Or me celebrating not having the strength of a bear and the virility of a horse.


  1. HaYtersLuvDanielle


  2. At-Law

    Who cares?

  3. jrzmommy

    …or DanYELL celebrating National Literacy Month.

  4. HaYtersLuvDanielle


    I post something, this dumb fuck comes right behind me and makes an obsurd comment.

    Fans these days, sheesh.

  5. JagedNS

    isn’t there anyone else mildly interesting that can be posted about? I’m so sick of Lohan/Paris/Paris’ stick figure friend. I mean gimme something to work with here…I need someone else to make fun bout Bonaduce(sp?)…he’s ripe for the pickin…c’mon.. :)

  6. nthemdl

    Oh yeah, Bonaduce needs to be ripped. WTF!! He must be insane…

  7. jrzmommy

    Fish Feeders–It was right there……it just couldn’t be passed up. It was like Pete Doherty saying no to that overflowing syringe of the Horse…I know, I fed it.

  8. gatorbates

    I throw up a toast to her.

    This stupid little cunt needs to be ingesting semen. Not alcohol.

    And when I say semen, I mean multiple different samples.

    Wait a minute. I she already does that.

    She should at least leave some of the sample on her face for the photographers to capture.

  9. commissioner


  10. Everybody needs a friend… except Danielle.

  11. Fucking attention whore. Seriously, why advertise that you’re friend has been sober for 90 days? Who fucking cares?

    Anyway, happy Girl on Girl Friday everyone.

  12. HaYtersLuvDanielle

    #9. absurd, obsurd..I don’t give a fuck. Is that better?

    #10. AWWWW….(gag).

    If anything is an “IT” it’s your deformed looking ass.

  13. jrzdaddy

    It’s almost impossible to enjoy this site anymore because of the constant bickering between jrzmommy and HaYtersLuvDanielle. There are some truly hilarious people posting on here (richport, Stallion, Bigjim, Papahotnuts, pinkynip, etc. etc.) but these two people keep fucking it up. It’s funny every now and then, but you two stupid mother fuckers need to settle the fuck down and concentrate on being comical.

  14. In case anyone missed it, here’s Danielles heartfelt apology again:
    Danielle, you should read it and take heed.

    255. Posted by danielle on August 29, 2006 1:48 PM

    #252. I’m not a racist. In fact, I take everything back that I ever said. You’re right, I shouldn’t talk about other people that I don’t even know. It’s just that I’ve experienced one too many acts of racism in my day and I just simply came on here to vent out some of my frustration.

    Truth is, I do like caucasians and other races. I think that all races have an impact on the world and contribute as well.

    I didn’t mean to cause any of you all any harm. You all are probably really good people who make wise choices and are going far in life.

    The truth is: I go to a university..but it’s not Howard. I only said that because my sister goes there and I look up to her because she busts a 4.0 each semester.

    I do go to a university though, no it’s not a community college. It is a good upstanding small campus university with alumni that have been recognized for thier achievements throughout the years.

    I live in DC, NE to be exact. I am of a middle-class standing, and I like it that way. I live nowhere near Barry someone pointed out earlier. In fact, this past weekend, me and my cousins were actually dared to go to that part of town,..but we chickened out.

    I am a normal 19 year old, about to celebrate her 20th birthday in 3 months and I DO sincerely apologize for any hurtful things that I have said. Especially to you biatcho..I know that if I lost my father the way that you did, I wouldn’t want anyone to make a joke out of it.

    Please do except my apology, I am truly sorry.

  15. Brain Embolism
  16. HaYtersLuvDanielle

    #13. Concentrate on that twig in your pants instead of minding other people’s business, kay?

    #14. Reaching back in the pass to post some absurd shit like that only proves your ignorance, not mines.

  17. dragonbain

    #13 I agree with you I come here to read the funny comments ripping celebutards, not listen to first graders. this “I know you are but what am I” crap needs to stop jrz, rich, and danille get the fuck off the fish and let the grownups play.

  18. Lindsay Lohan not sober?

    NO WAI

    So yeah, Robin Williams totally hit that.

  19. jrzdaddy

    @16- It’s ashame that you are so useless as a black woman. At least your ancestors were hard-working field hands.

  20. This, of course, is not surprising

  21. So back on topic…

    Lindsay wearing a 90 day chip for a friend? That’s like apologizing to Dick Cheney after he shoots you in the face. Backassward!

  22. commissioner

    Speaking of sobriety; I intend to live without it until after Tuesday’s polls close. I can’t take anymore “personal” phone calls from my state senator or Laura Bush. I’ve resorted to reporting Elizabeth Dole’s four hundred e-mails a day as spam.

    I’m going to join Lindsay on the drunky-drunk-drunk train.

  23. LoneWolf

    What a coincidence – 90 days is what I drew in the Death Pool.

    Maybe I can swtich over to Nichole Richie. Although I guess there’s hope that Lindsay’s inevitable fatal OD or car accident happens before February.

  24. GirlyGirl

    @22 – I’ll be aboard the drunky-drunk-drunk train as well… it departs in 1 hour and 15 miutes. ALL ABOARD!

  25. Oh, and when you’re drunk, cruise over to my blog and help me think of some band names, please!

  26. PrettyBaby

    #22 Funny! I got a phone call saying “Did you know that Senator XYZ supports letting pedophiles work in nursing homes?!” WTF?! I wanted to say, “Uh yeah, i am busy shaving my pussy for a night of hot sex” But alas I didn’t…

    Is it possible #13 & 16 is Danielle?

  27. gatorbates

    #19 … isn’t that one and the same? Useless and black woman?

  28. jrzmommy

    @ 19: Jrzdaddy–SEE!! it’s kinda hard to resist, isn’t it? Which I have been doing all day, except for earlier on this thread where it was just sitting there, needing to be said.

    Dragonbain: You need to read a little more. It’s not just me, it’s all of us, so don’t pin all this shit on me.

  29. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    danielle, this is for you:

    Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord, why dont we?

    We all know that people are the same where ever we go
    There is good and bad in evryone,
    We learn to live, we learn to give
    Each other what we need to survive together alive.

    Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord why dont we?

    Ebony, ivory living in perfect harmony
    Ebony, ivory, ooh

    We all know that people are the same where ever we go
    There is good and bad in evryone,
    We learn to live, we learn to give
    Each other what we need to survive together alive.

    Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord why dont we?

    Ebony, ivory living in perfect harmony (repeat and fade)

  30. Kiki

    #5- Bonaduce needs to be beaten like a red-headed step-child! Good call!

    # 13- Word!

  31. ponk

    tomorrow, she’ll be wearing my used condom … as a tribute.

  32. commissioner

    #25 and 26

    Last week some dumb broad called and said, “On a scale of one to nine, how strongly do you feel about the ‘Foley Sex Scandal’?” I just asked, “Is it really a ‘sex scandal’ if no sex took place?”. She hung up.

  33. PrettyBaby

    Oh My Lord, Here is a huge secret for you- I have gotten turned on watching Bonaduce. It sickens even me, but there it is. He’s just so…. mean and drunk and I don’t know, can anyone help me out here????????

  34. jrzmommy

    Commish: These are the kind of guys who I like to be outed:
    COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.

  35. commissioner

    jrz- The man’s just anti-gay marriage, not anti-gay massage, gay-sex or drugs. Gosh!

  36. HaYtersLuvDanielle

    #19. Did you pull that one out of your ass.?

    There’s no such thing as “black”. There’s no such thing as “race”. It’s just a made up term to split individuals into groups based on physical differences. I’m sure everyone on this pathetic blog shits, eats and sleeps the same way. Even your abnormal ass.

    Anyone with anything other than air floating inside their heads would know that.

    As far as my “ancestors” being field hands….what types of shit is that? Take your crackerjack ass back to whatever hole you pulled yourself out of. You’re a fucking waste of my time.

  37. ponk

    danYell, please STFU. please? i’m begging.

  38. commissioner


    I’m liking “Tranxene”. Or “MSIR”. You know, drug names. Or use a song title from Queensryche’s “Operation Mindcrime” album.

  39. HaYtersLuvDanielle

    #37. I will when you do.

  40. danYell – deal.

  41. jrzmommy

    Girly; I had a friend whos brother was a physicist and he had built this….contraption that he kept in his basement and we all referred to it as Richard’s Little Nuclear Device. If not the band’s name but at least a title for your first album.

  42. PrettyBaby

    #38 commissioner- Is that song “I Don’t Believe in Love” on there? Ever since my divorce, I have been thinking of that song.

    #36 Danielle- If the college friends come knockin tonight, open that door, dust the cobwebs off your sluttiest shoes and GO OUT! Some guys are into verbal battery- you may get it good.

  43. Lady Serpentine

    Anybody here NOT surprised? If so, consider stuffing your head in a toilet.

  44. The Gilbs

    @39 you sound like you’re 10. I used to work with people with developmental disabilities, aka retards, and it would be rather inexpensive to have you diagnosed. Insurance covers the whole thing. Sometimes people with DD can still drive and attend certain universities. Your life may get better with the proper medications.

  45. sexybitch

    I expect that chip to show up on eBay any second with the rest of the pass

  46. chelleann66

    #36 – Danielle/Old Yeller -
    You say that “everyone on this pathetic blog shits, eats and sleeps the same way.”
    Au contraire, maybe some of the people on this pathetic blog have a colostomy. Then they wouldn’t be shitting the “same way”. Now would they. Back in your kennel. Good dog.

  47. gatorbates

    # 44 … I think she’s a hopeless cause.

    Perhaps she’s just hungry. Maybe just toss her some chitlins, collard greens, fried chicken, watermelon, or “whatever it is they eat”.

  48. jrzmommy

    Girly: you could go with MINDFUCK, but I don’t think your band’s name would get much mention over the airwaves. I doubt we’ll ever hear:
    “This is Casey Kasem with a long-distance dedication to Joey in Iraq, from Tammy, his best gal back home in Kansas, and this is “I Love You” by MINDFUCK.”

  49. shameshame

    who’s the friend? her mom?

  50. HaYtersLuvDanielle

    #40 :]

    #42. Got it.

    #44. You posted something about me before and I didn’t respond. What makes you think I’m gonna start?

    P.S. No sweetie..I’m 20. Can you count that high?

    Never Mind. Just go back to your minimum wage job as a waitress.

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