Lindsay Lohan 911 tape

has gotten the 911 tape describing what went down when Lindsay Lohan’s former assistant’s mom called the police. The woman is hysterical, never answering the 911 operator, repeatedly saying that a white GMC is following her, and constantly screaming “Oh my God!” If this woman is one of the witnesses in the case Lindsay might actually get off. The judge would listen to her ramble hysterically for twenty seconds, interrupt her and say, “Let me stop you right there, I think I’ve heard enough,” turn to the bailiff, take out his gun, and shoot the woman in the face. Then he’d give Lindsay an award for dealing with this woman for as long as she did.

You can listen to the 911 tape here, but let me summarize it for you: “Oh my God. Oh my Goooood. Oh my God, what is he doing? Oh my God. Oh my God! Oh my God!!!”