Lindsay Lohan’s ‘Team’ Wants to End Her Probation

October 12th, 2010 // 35 Comments

Seen here in various courtroom sketches because she’s a junkie, Lindsay Lohan‘s “team” is trying to end her probation early because – wait for it – she’s going to do drugs anyway, so why go through all that hassle? RadarOnline reports:

“The longer Lindsay stays on probation, the increased chances that she will get in trouble because of problems staying compliant with the terms of her probation. The only person that can modify terms of Lindsay’s probation, or terminate it early, is Judge Elden Fox,” a source with knowledge of the situation told exclusively.

I’m just going to go ahead and assume the “team” mentioned above is exclusively Dina Lohan because I haven’t seen this much enabling since that time Eva Braun agreed Jews were making her not in the mood. But, seriously, the thought process here is ridiculous. While we’re at it, why don’t we stop making child molesters give a new address whenever they move because they’re just going to find a playground anyway? Okay, that might’ve been a tad extreme, but let’s not pretend both these situations don’t put children at risk. Then who’s going to grow up and further disappoint us with the state of society like those kids on Teen Mom? The Welsh? HA! Everyone knows they’re asexual.

Photos: Fame


  1. Crusty

    I don’t want to me first.. please.. don’t make me be first!!!

  2. GravyLeg

    For starters… Digital cameras practically come built into everything. I bet you cannot buy a new garage door remote that doesn’t have one built in…. So why the fuck are they using sketch “artists” again?

    #2 – Are these sketch “artists” recruited from the ultra talented caricature sketchers at the fair? What is this shit?

    Finally… Good on you Fish for the Eva Braun joke… LMAO

  3. The artist sketch of her looks better than she does in real life.

  4. Lindsay Lohan Courtroom Sketches
    Commented on this photo:

    why do these court sketches look like anime?

  5. josh

    I like drawings like those ones. It’s like touching Lindsay’s boobs with a pencil !

  6. Gary T

    These sketches give me a boner.

  7. What th’? You mean to tell me that the good folks at UCLA LIED and she doesn’t just have ADD after all? She’s actually using drugs and that’s why she violated her probation eleventy seven times?

    At this point, it’s really game over for her career anyway, so Dina Lohan should really give it a rest. When you’ve become enough of a joke that TV commercials use your name for a “milkaholic” baby and Law & Order: Los Angeles riffs off of your fucked up life for the pilot, it just can’t be salvaged.

  8. fester

    Let’s be fair, Lindsay is just like Joan of Arc. We all have a stake in her future. Now, help me gather firewood.

  9. "He's too rough to be true"

    He just called Hitler A-sexual! Where are the remaining Nazi pride that are out-there???

  10. Juano

    Huh? She is on probation because she got in trouble using drugs and booze, but needs to come off probation because she needs to use drugs and booze? This is so idiotic an argument that intelligent people just freeze and have to say “my brain….hurts….from so…..much stupidity…”

  11. Granted the logic is like that kid who killed his parents then begged for leniency cos hes an orphan. However.. drug addiction would cost society a shitload less if it were only treated as an ilness and not a crime. It has all the characteristics of a disease. And unlike fish’s analogy this is a relatively victimless crime. Motor vehicle notwithstanding..

    I know how to straighten that girl out. Done it more than once for ppl. But i dont come cheap…

    • Nerd

      Ugh…another one of these.

      You see dummy, an illness is an illness. An addiction is an addiction. I didn’t get addicted to breast cancer, my mother didn’t get addicted to dementia.

      Stooges like this make me laugh when they start that idiot rant that it is an illness, and I tell them I am a cancer survivor, and much like dudeothedouche right now, they go red in the face and stare at their shoes, struggling for something to say.

      You keep waving that flag though, obviously some people are buying it. Luckily no one who actually matters.

  12. Sardonic

    Best rationale ever. It’s turning into a Sam Beckett play.

  13. Lindsay Lohan Courtroom Sketches
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  14. LJ

    I hope that whoever she was giving head to at the UCLA medical center got their ass fired (how else could they have declared that she wasn’t a drunk and an addict).

    The girl needs at least a year of sober living in a half-way house to learn basic living skills that are apparently missing from her makeup (thanks to her enabling parents and friends.)

    The idea of ending her probation is unconditionally absurd and probably a death sentence.

    She continually violated the terms of her probation from the time she was sentenced in 2007 until she entered the Betty Ford Clinic (I keep seeing the “Fuck you” painted on her middle fingernail in her court appearance last July).

    If anything her probation should be extended.

  15. The ONLY Hetero in this Joint

    Despite where this will put me in the eyes of Fish I just want to reach out and thank LiLo’s Team for recognizing the absurdity of her continued probation and the further financial damage it does to a state that is swimming in red ink.
    Fish: We here in CA have been forced to make certain sacrifices in the name of running a HUGE state deficit. Those sacrifices include our justice system, the highways and byways, our waterways which are used to irrigate the crops and support our state’s ag industry and also we are now throwing our elderly, kids, and disabled….anyone who can’t fend for themselves under the state bus due to the reckless tax and spend approach to government that our state legislators do on a daily basis here in CA – the answer? A republican candidate for guv who hasn’t voted in 30 years or a democratic candidate who has failed at every level and every position of governing here in the state.

    So – as you can see Fish: Lilo and her team are actually great public servants who are being more responsible with this state’s money and resources than a herd ful of democrats.

    • Entirely reasonable statement.

      Obviously, I set aside common sense for the joke because I want this bitch to get cancer and die alone. It’s a delicate dance.

    • nothing

      Yeah Republicans are very intelligent with economics look at the mess we are in you idiot. Only joking. We are ruled by Giant Money, not the corporate puppets THEY place in office. They are only there for the cheap theatrics that keep retards like you confused. Or should I say in bliss?

  16. anonymous

    “The longer Lindsay stays on probation, the increased chances that she will get in trouble because of problems staying compliant with the terms of her probation. ” You get this type of out of the box thinking when you are an unemployed actress hooked on meth and can only afford a team of lawyers who had C averages in law school and took many tries to pass the bar.

    Why not end all criminals with repeat offenses early for this same reason. I bet there’s a few killers out there who shouldn’t be on probation because they’ll probably kill again before their probation period is up.

    Here’s a better idea. Lock LL in jail and throw away the key.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Courtroom Sketches
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    Dude I could make a fucking living doing this based on how whack these look. Mine’d be so much better. Where can I sign up?

  18. JollyJumJuck

    I’m calling shenanigans on this one. There is no way precious Hohan would consent to having cuffs put on her (unless it was something sexual). More likely, the officer would try to put the cuffs on her, and in a Peter Griffin-like voice she would yell, “No!” And the officer would back off, and say, “Please, Miss Lohan, come over here.” And after pretty-pleasing a few times, she would toss her head and comply. But only because she wanted to.

  19. JollyJumJuck

    Also, the sketch artist gives her an orange outfit with a black thing around her waist in drawings 1-3, and a black outfit in drawings 4-5. In other words, she magically changed her outfit in court.
    I bet the judge said, “What should be your punishment, Ms. Lohan?”
    And she replied, “Lots and lots of sex and drugs.”
    And the judge slammed down the gavel and said, “Next case.”

  20. Ash Bones

    I still don’t understand what’s going on here.

  21. captain america

    this woman will continue the failurures in life.

  22. STFUP

    Is her lawyer on drugs too? WTF?
    They want her probation ended early because “she will get in trouble because of problems staying compliant with the terms of her probation”?
    Let’s see. Those terms include not drinking, not doing drugs, attending AA classes and submitting to random drug testing. And they’re afraid she won’t be able to stay compliant?
    To me that’s reason to keep the probation in place if not extend it! If they get away with this crap – it’ll be the worst example of ‘celebrity justice’ EVER!

  23. obviously the artist is obsessed with boobs.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Courtroom Sketches
    Commented on this photo:

    I almost want to masturbate to these photos. Too bad the real Lindsay doesn’t do anything for me..

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