Lindsay Lohan’s Probation Ended, But Not Really

March 29th, 2012 // 26 Comments
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The state of California can officially stop pretending it gives a shit if Lindsay Lohan completes her community service or not because the judge just ended her probation. Or at least the formal part of it because apparently she still has two and a half more years to not break the law, which she will because babies don’t run over themselves. So I honestly don’t know why we’re all making a big deal out of this. TMZ reports:

The judge took Lindsay off probation altogether in what herhonor called “the endless” 2007 DUI case. If Lindsay had not completed the terms of her probation, Judge Sautner could have sentenced her to 270 days in the pokey. When the judge terminated probation, Lindsay cracked a big smile and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
As for the necklace heist case, Judge Sautner said Lindsay completed community service at the morgue, therapy and the shoplifter’s course — so her formal probation is now informal probation, and all Lindsay has to do is OBEY ALL LAWS for the next 2 1/2 years. Sautner said, “I know it’s kinda hard when people are following you all of the time, but that’s the life you chose.”

She then added. “Just kidding! I know it’s kinda easy when the court repeatedly bends right over and lets you put your penis in our legal butts at the drop of a hat. See? See us bending over? Now stick that freckly ol’ penis on in here. Don’t be shy.”

Photo: Splash News


  1. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
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  2. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
    Jack Often
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice granny pants Joan Rivers, did those shoulders come with a helmet?

  3. dontkillthemessenger

    There was an uncomfortable moment when Lohan asked the judge if there were any laws against Booger Sugar.

  4. CranAppleSnapple

    The lone button on your jacket doesn’t really want to act as your entire bra. I suspect it will snap off and have some pap’s eye out rather than continue that task.

  5. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
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    Is that woman both holding out a microphone for comment AND taking a stupid photo with her phone?

  6. JC

    I didn’t realize the parole hearings in “Raising Arizona” were so faithful to real life.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
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    Look at the gate on her, once again Lindsay Lohan steals the show.

  8. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
    Pastie Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    How fucking stupid are the cops in California? Everyone knows she’s a coke fiend but they can’t even jail her for felony theft and 3 hit and runs. Meanwhile in Florida they will shoot and kill you for eating a snow cone.

    • dooood

      just because you can get away with anything in california doesn’t mean they don’t still beat the shit out of and murder minorities.

  9. Cock Dr

    She’ll be busted again before Labor Day weekend.

  10. The only thing harder than not breaking the law when people are following you around all the time, is not breaking the law when NOBODY is following you around all the time. It’s like a slippery slope, you guys.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Double-breasted suite jacket.

  12. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
    russ brand
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s a better angle, can’t see second and third chins

  13. Dan's friend

    When did my baby turn into skinny-Heigl?

  14. Dick Hell

    She should have included a handful of neck skin when she tied her hair back, it might make her chin look better.

  15. herbiefrog

    lookin’ cute…

    “in teal” [[wtf color is teal ?]]

    the row is our mka babies : ))

    well done everyomne … stand down…

    • Didn’t even wait to get back to the Marmont to hit the celebratory pipe, didya?

      Wait, you got booted from the Marmont. Where are you staying these days, Linds?

  16. LJ

    Can’t wait for the stories about her being “falling down drunk” and her entourage barricading her in her trailer when she does her guest shot on Glee.

  17. Urbanspaceman

    It’s official, she is bulletproof. Let’s move on.

  18. Wink

    The California court system is like the world’s most passive parents. You better not do that again! Unless you do, then you better not do it again after that time.

  19. Bobin

    But apparently her haarrible Long lsand fashion sense has not ended. Black tutle neck + chain.

  20. Herman Bumfudle

    please. lindsay always looks beautiful! but yeah, there is something different about her. boink!

  21. Lindsay Lohan Last Court Hearing
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    I don’t understand, she’s pretty thin so why is her face so swollen?

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