Lindsay Lohan’s Porn Star Role is a ‘Bad Move’

June 29th, 2010 // 52 Comments

Thanks to shitty decision-making being an integral genome of Lohan DNA, Lindsay is banking on her upcoming role as porn star Linda Lovelace to bounce her career back to its Mean Girls heyday. Except most film experts agree it will probably do the exact opposite because she’ll barely have to act in the thing. Hollywood Life reports:

“It’s not going to do any good for her already tarnished reputation — I think this movie hits a little too close to home. If she’s serious about getting her career back on track, she needs to take on a more mature and sophisticated role to show how her talent has progressed over the years.”
In the film, which is set to begin filming as early as August, Lindsay has filthy lines like, “Is there anything in this life I like more than cock sucking? Okay. Well, one thing. On OCCASION. I love it when my man Chuck socks it to me in the ass” and “I was put on this earth for one thing and one thing only — sucking a footlong cock!”
Even if the film is well-produced, directed and acted (three MAJOR ifs), there’s also the worry that audiences will feel uncomfortable watching the young starlet reenacting the hard-partying lifestyle that brought her to her current SCRAM-bracelet wearing state in the first place.
“My issue isn’t with the graphic sex and language, but I do think it will be painful to see a very sad person’s life opened up to the masses,” the casting director said, sympathizing, “Linda Lovelace’s life hits too close to home to Lindsay’s.”

So basically nobody wants to see 90 minutes of Lindsay’s life in the toilet because we see on it a daily basis. Got it. Granted this thing apparently has the greatest dialog known to man and deviant fucking, I don’t think there’s a soul among us who doesn’t look at Lindsay every single time and think, “I wonder how much penis she sucked for food and shelter today. Probably 11.” I can’t be the only one.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    I cant wait for this movie…I foresee my girlfriend walking in on me as I’m jacking to this OnDemand

    (pants around ankles, Jergen bottle and tissues laying on couch)
    “…..you’re home early, what is it honey?!?”

  2. jumpin_j

    ““I was put on this earth for one thing and one thing only — sucking a footlong cock!” – ““Linda Lovelace’s life hits too close to home to Lindsay’s.”

    Well when you put those in context, it all seems to explain everything about her.

  3. Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    if we get to see her suck cock i’ll see it.

  4. ZigZagZoey

    Yikes, she can’t even use being drunk for an excuse for this hideous clothing choice.
    I am so curious exactly how close to broke she is. Pretty close I think.

  5. LJ

    “Inferno” has the chance to do to Lindsay Lohan’s career what Showgirls did to Elizabeth Berkly’s career.

  6. JD

    Do we even know for sure this “movie” is even happening? Even if it does, it’ll never see the inside of a theater, this has direct-to-disc “Director’s Cut” written all over it.

  7. So

    God — I want this whore

  8. Randal

    isn’t she the vision of lovliness .
    how adorable lindsay looks when trying to appear coy .
    a real coquette!
    a legend in her time .

    • Jerry

      She is a legend in her own mind soon to be a legend in her own behind.She’ll get it deep and creamy in her butt before long and love it.She’ll be cumming back for more!

  9. I, for one, think it’s the best move she’s made in a long time. She doesn’t even need to speak!

  10. Captain_Insano

    What a useless cunt.

  11. McFeely Smackup

    last I heard this movie was still begging for funding. It’s not going to happen.

  12. stinky mcpoop

    It’s the perfect role for her transition into porn.

  13. Michael

    I am reminded of Courtney Love in The People vs. Larry Flynt. She basically played herself and was praised for her performance.

  14. Oompa Loompa HQ

    We are desperately trying to talk our princess out of taking this wretched role.
    But she needs the cash.

  15. Mal Gusto

    When Charlize Theron played the serial killer Aileen Wournos it was fascinating because the actress and the character were so very different. I cannot think of a movie in which an actress has played such a closely paralleled character as Lindsay and Linda Lovelace.
    I I can think of one: Mickey Rourke in Barfly. Helluva movie, but not really a stretch for Rourke.

  16. bar room hero

    She should have skipped the ‘role’ and done a real porno. I would purchase it.

    • Deano

      I am with you she needs to stop playing actress and start the porn already.I would buy that shit up in a minute

      • bar room hero

        Yep, it would be money left spent because you know this slag would deliver!

        I can only imagine, but she has got to be a proper ‘sex M A C H I N E’

  17. j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought that was Russell Brand in the 4th pic!

  18. Valerie
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s unfairly mean, penis sucking isn’t degrading, it’s a wonderful thing.

  19. Elena
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t look too bad here.

  20. I’m actually looking forward to this movie…degradation is an interesting process

  21. Apple
    Commented on this photo:

    Her Linda Lovelace movie seems so boring.
    Perhaps, if it were made two or three decades ago it might have been interesting, but with iPhone porn and free internet porn, who cares. My mom said that the only reason that Deep Throat did well was because it had somewhat of a plot, along with fireworks, when all the rest of the XXX movies at that time were just people banging each other in motel rooms. Well, I hope it does well for Lindsay’s sake, and her name sort of sounds the same….Lindsay….Linda Lovelace…….milk……..

  22. Randal

    LOVELY LINDSAY WOULD NEVER DO PORNO ! my goodness how could you say such an outlandish thing?

    she is much too sophisticated & well -bred for such nonsense.
    you know very well lindsay is a virgin.

    • allie!

      shut it randall. not everyone is a daisy like you.

      lindsay does choke on fat dick every day and then downs it with a can of cheese wiz.
      little whore and her sister too…
      do a real porno, then we will talk. SLORE~!!!

  23. caligrrl
    Commented on this photo:

    GET.YOUR.FINGER.OUT.OF.YOUR.FUCKING.MOUTH.
    YOU.IDIOT.

  24. MikeBarr

    BP should plug the hole using Lindsay Lohan

  25. Nameless

    This movie is going straight to cable. It’s skipping DVD because its a waste of time, money and effort.

  26. Covert Koala

    Yeah Lindsay! Where’s your lesbian sex tapes to release right before the opening of the film?

  27. melysa martinez

    Man, I still can’t believe she’s only 23. Look at that mug. Ugh.

    I have no qualms with a person being open with their sexuality, but really, it’s only cool if people are selective. It’s the selectivity that ups the hot factor. I have no doubt this girl’s fish taco will bone anything for some coke and attention.

    But I’m not gonna lie, I love porn and I love to see the lives of selfish assholes go down the drain, so this movie will be better than any Oscar movie like The English Patient or that Nine musical. I’ll make it long enough through the movie to the scene where some dude blows a load on that smug mug of hers and then call it a day.

    Watch them add that scene to the Director’s Cut as an incentive to buy the movie, because otherwise, it won’t even make money outside the box office either.

    I won’t miss this selfish twat when she’s gone.

  28. Petra

    I don’t think this movie will do anything for her except make her look even more ridiculous. This is a movie about a porn star, a movie with a lot of sex and violence and given the lines that were quoted from the script already, I don’t see that it’ll be a very good movie. I might be proven wrong, but I really don’t see how. Plus, is Lohan’s hard partying not going to interfere with her movie schedule? And like someone mentioned this movie might never even see the light of day.

    • Julia

      I think her head is too fucked up from drugs and a sad personal history to know how to make good choices for herself. And her managers don’t care about anything as long as she’s reeling in cash. So fucking sad and frankly it pisses me off. Lindsay has the money to get herself help and be above this. But she never will because she has no positive role models to influence her well. Damn you woman, for making me feel sorry for your lame ass.

  29. anonym

    so she’s going to suck dicks and show her tits?

    if not, then it is a bad move.

    if so, then it is a good move……. as a stepping stone into the porn industry.

    she’s only good for pornos, and you’ll have to double glove to fuck than snatch

  30. captain america

    why, THE SUICIDE ATTEMPT WILL BE CLOSER ON HER………….

  31. Nate

    So? that one chick in that Vegas movie said “for 500 dollars you can fuck me in the ass or cum on my face.” And look how well her career is doing now after winning an Oscar for that line. Oh right.. still she won an Oscar!

  32. Wiley

    We’re all so eager to see her degraded that she’ll be a boxoffice hit! Don’t forget about the donkey. Bet the ASPCA will love that!

  33. Slig

    Bitch hahahaha dirty and wearing mediocre horrible and trashy

  34. Kaz

    Hi Ugly u nothing , she like more wired like britney , 2 girl go eating food in rabege

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