Lindsay Lohan’s Pee was Clean. In Theory.

June 18th, 2010 // 37 Comments

Get ready to wrap your head around this one: Lindsay Lohan has been cleared by the LA County Probation Department after apparently passing a piss test when her SCRAM bracelet was activated during an MTV Movie Awards afterparty last week. And by passing a piss test, I mean she took one at 10 in the morning, eight hours after the fact. Let’s give her a medal. TMZ reports:

But here’s the thing. Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley tells TMZ Lindsay went to the Probation Department at around 10 AM the next day and her urine tested negative for alcohol.
Sources connected with the Probation Department tell us … the test results are good enough for them and as far as they are concerned Lindsay is in full compliance with her probation.

While Lindsay probably laughed her way into a Crushed Vicodin Coolada over this one, RadarOnline reports her SCRAM bracelet definitely showed the presence of alcohol between midnight and 3 a.m., and that Lindsay attempted to tamper with the device:

“There was absolutely no doubt that Lindsay was drinking, and the report that the alcohol monitoring service provided to Judge Revel was very detailed and extremely reliable,” a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.
“The (SCRAM) report also says that Lohan’s SCRAM bracelet had indeed been tampered with, and this is one of the reasons that Judge Revel determined that Lindsay violated terns of her bail,” the source told RadarOnline.com.

JUDGE: Miss Lohan, would you care to explain why there’s a bullet hole through your alcohol monitoring device.
LINDSAY: Gin is delicious?
LAWYER: coughahemhemehahememcough
LINDSAY: Oh, right. *looks at hand* It just says “The Negros” on here. I thought we agreed on Samantha Ronson?
LAWYER: *reaches for bailiff’s gun*

Photos: Fame, Splash News

superficial

  1. Mal Gusto

    fist!

  2. Louise
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s plenty of time to fail. She’s looking fatter though.

  3. Mal Gusto

    girls with freckles should not wear backless outfits.
    I wish this bitch would die OR get sober, already! I am tired of all this fence sitting. Go full AMY WHINEHOUSE or clean up and get real! My preference is the Amy route, followed by a gruesome death or a long jail sentence, but that is just me. I’m a bastard.

  4. cutesy
    Commented on this photo:

    PIss.Test.Sucks

  5. Deacon Jones

    I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes, down in my belly..

  6. bscott
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if they had to use a bucket?

  7. sec82

    Wow are you people that stupid? You do realize alcohol stays in your system for 24 hours. You don’t immediately piss it out.

    • Deacon Jones

      All I know is, this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with *light* coming out of his mouth!

    • hollywood_hillbilly

      You, sir, are stupid. Alcohol does not stay in your body 24hrs, unless you have serious liver issues. I have, myself gone out and gotten shit faced, thrown out of a strip club drunk, got up, dusted myself off and drove to my P.O.’s, peed in a cup, (and on the guy watching me’s shoes) and come out clean as a whistle.

  8. Bunny

    My pee is crystal clear but God knows I had numerous delicious drinkies last evening….

  9. Bunny

    D’OH Hey Fish your advertising nemesis(es) have managed to thwart your changes. Christian Shoes is back hawking the fabulous “Dragon Boat Festival Shoes”…….. Fabulous!!

  10. FrankNfrtr

    Once again she looks terrible. For a “fashionista” she makes some very unflattering wardrobe choices.
    Guys, if given the choice between fucking Lilo or a clean, pleasant looking fat woman who would make you pancakes in the morning, would you turn your attentions to that snake under the pile of rocks or just throw yourself off a bridge?

  11. Tragic1

    http://www.redwoodtoxicology.com/landing_pages/etg_3215b/?gclid=CLPC1u3_qaICFRsVawodxRa1QQ

    They won’t spend the $75 for this test above? Celebrity’s get away with everything. Enabling them to go into a drunken, coked out coma and die choking on their own puke.

    At least the Govt gets a healthy paycheck from their estate tax’s after death. Which is what matters. Right?

  12. Tragic1

    Celebrities* lol

  13. Not a Dumbass
    Commented on this photo:

    Better.. Better use a bucket

  14. polarsyn
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, her hair is fried! Looks like somebody had at it with a dull weed whacker.

  15. joho777

    Since I live in L.A. County, I wouldn’t believe the County Probation Dept. if they said it was daylight outside. Talk about major corruption problems.

    Plus the Probation officer who supervised Lindsay’s urine test didn’t supervise it. Instead he allowed her sister Ali to go into the bathroom with Lindsay. And he believed Ali when she said, “Lindsay has trouble peeing, so if I go first, it’s easier for her.”

    What kind of experienced probation officer allows that?

    Question for you all: How much did Lindsay pay for a clean test after she violated the SCRAM five times at the same party?

    And after the incredible number of strangers that Lindsay has allowed (or encouraged) into her urinary/genital rregion, where did this, “Lindsay has trouble peeing” come from?

  16. Lolocaust

    Fact: Piss tests are still accurate up to 36 hours after consuming alcohol, depending on the person. Mouth swabs are the only thing that would be ineffective after 8 hours, and that’s if you’re lucky as shit.

  17. mikenike
    Commented on this photo:

    Those freckles are nasty.

  18. Tragic1

    Tru Lolocaust, but even greater with EtG

  19. herbiefrog

    shine on you silver diamond…

    “you want us to pee where ???”

    perverts…

    tells you a little something about
    what is wrong with the US justice
    system. piss on us… PLEASE?

  20. bar room hero

    I would love to shag her…

    You know that she would be a freak, total sex machine…

    Laying pipe in that would be glorious!

    -The Bar Room Hero.

  21. captain america

    she is doin’ the “Tour De France”?

  22. Badger Bob

    “…urine tested negative for alcohol”

    you left out the best part of the report!

    “…urine tested negative for alcohol but positive for a whole host of STDs. a CDC decontamination unit scrubbed down the bathroom and the test administrator with Agent Orange in an attempt to sanitize, but after short deliberation in which an unnamed scientist was heard screaming “Oh my god! It’s ALIVE! Kill it! Kill it with fire!” officials decided the safest course of action was to burn down the entire building.

  23. Nastyboy
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess what? I would drink the piss. ‘Cause that’s just how nasty I am.

  24. Poundcake

    OK, HERE IS THE DEAL :

    1. She is drinking booze to mellow down from her prescribed oral amphetamines.
    2. She claims ADHD, therefore Amphetamines for life, since she has doctors drooling at her money.

    So I imagine:
    She wakes up in the afternoon still hazy from last night’s booze. Then she pops oral amphetamines, gets out of the shower and scrubs the tobacco tinged fur from her teeth. By now she has smoked 2 to 4 cigarettes. She then talks ALOT about nothing and makes spurious demands of minions. She then leaves whatever work she was doing, claiming malaise.. to then crush up some amphetamines to be inhaled through the nose. She will then consume a couple cans of Redbull. Cigarette count at 20. After a few of hours, she then moves to the booze or pain pills.. as prescribed. To come down from the amphetamines and to transition into an incoherent sack of rubbish, at which point she “falls asleep”.

    Around Noonish the next day, repeat cycle. Until done.

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