Lindsay Lohan’s Leaving Rehab This Week. Oh, Good.

August 16th, 2010 // 45 Comments

Because two weeks is just as good as ninety days, it’s now “very possible” Lindsay Lohan‘s doctors in rehab will sign off on her release this week, according to TMZ. Even worse, this will effectively prove Michael Lohan right and now we’ll never hear the end of it. Via Radar Online:

“My prediction is that Lindsay will get out of rehab early, probably still be on some kind of prescription drugs, she’ll go right back to work and go back to hanging out with the same people and everything will once again fall apart. And this will only have been a band aid.”

Apparently the doctors at UCLA have concluded that Lindsay is not bipolar – You don’t say? – but also that her drug addictions are “not as severe as first thought.” Mind you this a facility that’s been allowing Lindsay Lohan to mentor other addicts, so I’m pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before someone figures out they’ve been tricked by a dorm room full of sophomores in lab coats. “Dude, this is totally the rehab center. Just set her down next to the Dreamcast and that decorative vase that I swear isn’t a bong. Watch the Scarface poster!”

Photos: Splash News

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  1. taras bulbous

    this is fucking horseshit

  2. Deacon Jones

    Isn’t the whole 90 days thing mandatory??

    Two fucking weeks? Who’d she blow to get that pink slip?

  3. Puke

    Hope for the best, expect the worst!

  4. Turd Ferguson

    The Dead Pool is still in play.

  5. Turn her loose. If nothing else it will liven up a very slow August news cycle. Let’s see how long before she’s stumbling out of the clubs smeared with white powder, stealing clothes & getting into bitch fights.

  6. guitarguypa

    Oh for the love of God….

  7. kriti

    So sick of her getting her way…I want to go home, jail is not fair, I can’t see my family. This whiney bitch needs to leave and not come back. And take her mother with her. They are all just losers.

  8. Kevin

    Dead by the end of the year…..

  9. Photoshop Police

    Any guess on when one of the judges is gonna go ape$#!% over the early release?

  10. Bobby Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay, come see at my trailer.

  11. Matthew

    odds on she will screw up? 10-1 odds and also dina maybe had something to do bring out of rehab

  12. LJ

    I wonder if Dina Lohan has already sold the rights to televise Lindsay’s funeral to Bravo.

    Then Dina can spend the next ten years whoring out Ali.

  13. Freddo

    I seriously hope this bitch kills herself. I’m so fucking tired of seeing her face and hearing about her. I honestly don’t care how she goes, as long as she’s gone. Someone may have to sacrifice their life to get the job done but hell it’ll be worth it.

  14. Sheik Apul Madeek Aoud

    MMM…I cant wait for the Lindsay/ Ali sister on sister porn video.

  15. suck it

    wtf this bitch is ridiculous

  16. Amy

    File under Inmates Running The Asylum.

  17. VD

    Score! Can’t wait until she gets out. Reading about LiLo getting wasted, plastic surgery because she has a complex about her looks, her filthy closet, fucked up family, etc., is a welcome respite to reading about the Republicans cheating the middle class out of our Social Security, taxes, economic stability, etc. — realities that affect me which I can’t control. I need something to lighten my day. I enjoy watching the uber-rich completely fucking up their lives… it’s small social justice; and at this point, I’ll take what I can get.

  18. Ryan

    She gets sentenced to 90 days in jail, but only spends 13 days there. Then, she’s sent to rehab, but only spends two weeks there. How the fuck does a 90-day jail sentence plus rehab turn into less than a fucking month for both combined?! That’s fucking bull shit!

    • MEL

      It is bullshit, but she’s a fucking cunt, so I guess it kinda makes sense.

      Don’t worry, she’ll be in a back alley banging greaseballs for $10 a pop by tomorrow…. the STDs should set in soon.

      The Firecrotch wants what the Firecrotch wants

  19. Sardonic

    Next up for Lindsay is a guest spot at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

  20. Hmmmmm

    What a miraculous recovery! See what happens when you let go and let God? Praise Him! There are truly Angels in my Iced Tea.

  21. Dr Wang

    Staff just got tired of following her around with a mop cleaning up all that acrid vaginal seepage and green phlegm.

  22. Diane

    LiLo is a good actress after all it seems.

  23. LJ

    Is there a pool to get in on guessing how long it will be before she’s snorting coke off the sidewalk?

  24. captain america

    she is still trying to regain any simpathy of horny american assholes by showing her desperate body.

  25. Burt

    Has it already been 90 days? Damn, I missed the Halloween party at work.

  26. herbiefrog

    wow you people are so sad, like those who ask while people reply… ?

    you’ll be fine )

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