Lindsay Lohan’s Doing Everything But Her Community Service? That Can’t Be Right

September 22nd, 2011 // 59 Comments

Feigned shock aside, apparently Lindsay Lohan has a “team of advisers” telling her to do responsible things despite the fact she spent the past week hurling drinks at Fashion Week whenever she wasn’t snorting coke off hotelier’s dicks to get into parties. Also, she’s allowed within 50 yards of Dina, so this “team” never stood a chance. Anyway, their latest mission is to get Lindsay to focus on her community service which she’s completed next to nothing of and already plans to continuing blowing off with a trip to Milan. RadarOnline reports:

Lindsay’s next court date, which she was previously ordered to attend, is on October 17, 2011 for a progress report hearing. Los Angeles Judge Stephanie Sautner ordered Lindsay to 380 hours of community service at the Downtown Women’s Center, and 100 hours at the Los Angeles County Morgue.
“Lindsay has completed about 60 hours at the Downtown Women’s Center. Lindsay hasn’t done any time at the morgue,” a source close to the situation tells “Lindsay has completed her shoplifters awareness class but is falling behind on her other commitments.
“Lindsay’s team is telling her she needs to log significant time to show the judge that she is working towards completing her hours, but she is ignoring them. Lindsay’s rationale is that she has a year to complete the service, so she isn’t concerned about it right now.

Let me guess how this will go down, and then next month we can look back and see how incredible my psychic powers are. (Side note: Is this your number?)

1. Lindsay won’t log a single hour of community service between now and her next hearing.
2. The judge will verbally chastise for not taking her community service seriously and then say something about this being her last chance which it won’t be and the process will repeat no less than 27 times.
3. Lindsay will suddenly remember there’s a baby still stuck in her tires.
4. Everyone laughs.
5. The bailiff lets her hold his gun.
6. Laughter again.

It’s like gazing into a crystal ball, I know. I’m very powerful.

Photos: INFdaily


  1. TomFrank

    You don’t think she’ll “do her time” at the L.A. morgue within the next year? Doesn’t EVERYONE’s death pool have her fulfilling that obligation?

  2. Dan's friend

    I miss the tastefully thick redhead.

  3. Disco Dave

    An easier solution is if she sucks and screws 100 guys who each agree to donate $10,000 to the food bank or homeless shelter.

    Hey, let her use her only talent left for the benefit of those less fortunate.

  4. Cock Dr

    I think her ultimate fate is to serve some jail time (more than a week or 2), but she make skip that step and go right to premature death.
    If she’s driving she will eventually hurt someone. Other than that who gives a crap about these Lohans? They truly suck.

  5. j

    lindsey and casey anthony need to be lockedi n a hotel room with briefcase fulla booger sugar. but, i want to watch them play motor boat before they start snortin’

  6. “Allowed within” I think that’s supposed to be…….it’s pretty sad when Paris Hilton is the upstanding citizen, she at least did her community service.

    • V

      and paris hilton has done a lot less than lindsay. hater her or not but that time she did in jail was not the right punishment. lindsay has gotten away with a lot more.

  7. Dean Keaton

    When this woman self – destructs , what will Team Lohan say then ? When I say self – destructs , I mean a drug overdose or some preventable self – abuse death

  8. Saul Berg

    This train is gonna derail sooner or later . I just don’t know how much steel is left on the rails at the moment . I don’t think it will be any surprise when it does . I wonder , what does Lindsay think about how her story ends ? Does she think her trajectory will be a happy landing ?

    • Hugh Beaumont

      She apparently is not sentient enough to imagine her future given her present course of action. If she had a larger IQ , she might be able to change her course and become a working actress. She is on a self – destructive spiral that will end only in a few ways , none of which are enviable , no matter how much coke she does

  9. Lindsay Lohan New York Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some scary ugly shoes.

  10. Lindsay Lohan New York Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    is she ALWAYS smelling a fart?

  11. Lindsay Lohan New York Fashion Week
    Expert on Everything
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s never been more predictable. Linz will pull an Amy Winehouse before she ever gets another job acting. She looks unshowered and like she just borrowed mommies clothes for her only photo op ever again. What a waste of some previously (long ago) decent talent.

  12. andyconda

    wrong wrong wrong….she has 360 hours at the DWC…. 120 hours at the morgue…she has until oct. the 19…
    damn do some research before you jot this stuff down…
    and she has about 45 hours of CS done not 60

  13. Medea

    I think you mean’ Lindsay Lohan’s servicing everyone but the community.”

  14. Findley

    Why would she ever complete her “community service”? What’s going to happen to her if she doesn’t? Jail? Hahahahaha. More probation? Good. She loves it. More fashion, more cameras.

  15. jazz

    380 hours?? That is alot. And 100 at the morgue? Gross. That is alot of community service for a regular person but she is a celebrity. Maybe they will cut the time in half for her?? That would make it more fair.

    • andyconda

      the judge hates her, and has good reasons..she will not change the hours at all.
      for grand theft (reduced) violation of probation…this is not alot of hours..she should have been put in jail for a year or 2… she got lucky..and now she is blowing off the only thing thats keeping her out of jail

  16. Capitalist Pancake

    A ‘Shoplifter’s Awareness Class’ . A crucial part of integrating faded starlets into the real world again. ‘S-T-O-R-E, sometimes known as S-H-O-P, class. It’s like a gifting boutique, but you have to hand over money before they give you the stuff’.

  17. Sidney Levine

    I would think Dina better keep Lindsay alive as long as she can . I don’t think little sister has the same earning potential

    • Stuart Goldbloom

      The younger sister cannot earn as much as Lindsay , however Lindsay manages to do this without an actual job . Dina should keep her off drugs , or this is gonna end badly

    • Honest John

      Dina should keep a tight rein on her . Doing lines in hotel rooms and who knows what else might lower her life expectancy, but then how Lindsay going to make “living”

  18. wasn’t she already admonished in court for thinking she could jam all her requirements into the last month of her whateverthefuck it is she’s on. i think last time it was rehab classes. 100-1 she doesn’t complete it (dog will eat her passport)

  19. My Left Nut

    Apparently, her community sevice is to walk around town like a ho during a sting operation for johns.

  20. forrest gump

    sh*t remains sh*t, UNLESS YOU BURN IT!!

  21. anon

    community service must be interfering with her real job–taking it up the ass from rich eurotrash for coke. a hookers got to eat.

  22. just say'n

    She dressed like she’s headed to her next outcall appointment.

    • Jack Ketch

      And only Lindsay Lohan can make a Chanel belt look like trashy dime-store crap … looks lovely with the bleached-blonde hair and aged crack-face. NOT.

  23. V

    my dream is that she gets busted for prostitution. we all know that’s what’s been going on.

  24. cc

    We are all equal under the law. No really.

  25. What a retard

    She doesn’t have enough money to hire the court ordered therapist (but does to fly all over the world for fashion week, employ a team of advisors, rent a $8,000/month apartment, do booze & coke like it’s going out of style, etc). Now, she’ll say she can’t do her community service because of some similarly dishonest reason like “I was too busy working” or something like that. I just want the judge to call her on her BS; embarrass the hell out of her, bitchslap her verbally then sentence her back into prison for an extended period, this time in general population. No more special treatment for this stupid whore, no more home imprisonment where she throws parties, drinks up a storm, does commercials, etc. Enough is enough.

  26. Tristyn

    Holy fuck!!!! Take away her freedom already …..

  27. Venom

    After the last post with her, I just can’t respect her anymore.
    She is nothing more than a call girl now in my book.

  28. Findley

    Which will come first? Finishing her “community service” hours? Or dying (of an overdose and/or drunk driving)?

  29. r

    Lindsay will once again get away with her not doing community service because the judge is unable to do her job.

    She looks awful someone needs to put her in jail because we have seen rehab doesn’t work for her.

  30. Hy-larious :) Classic write up. ‘No less than 27 times’ sounds right too.

  31. TheAdmiral

    Wait, what? What kind of community service would she be doing at a morgue? I’m pretty sure you need training and probably some responsibility to embalm a body or even work with one at any point. I guess she could haul corpses around, but still, that’s the kind of stuff you’d need supervision for. It’s a body, not a sack of potatoes; if it goes missing or rotten, someone is going to be quite upset.

    Besides, what’re the chances that she’d just try to grind it up and snort it anyways?

    • Jack Ketch

      I believe she did have to do service there, as part of a program that teaches you, in part, what drug and alcohol abuse can lead to … as in nowhere but an early death. Good luck with that, Lindsay. You already look a lot worse than 45. I hope your lip injections somehow manage to lodge in your brain.

    • Cock Dr

      There’s always floors to be mopped & toilets to be cleaned.

  32. Katers

    I fucking HATE. I repeat HATE this idiot with a passion unknown to man as yet. If it so much as gets off with a wrist slap, I will…….. I will……… HATE HER EVEN MORE! (if that’s possible). (Looks up) Please, God – let there be a you! Let Karma reign upon this slovenly, utterly evil being!!!!!

  33. Lola

    Jesus Christ, she looks like SHIT!

  34. KumaTenshi

    The woman could literally shoot someone point blank in the head, kill them, in a lobby full of witnesses, with multiple security cameras on her, and I bet you ANYTHING IN THE FUCKING WORLD, she’d get away with it.

  35. bo

    i do like that belt though…i wonder where she stole it?

  36. Lindsay Lohan New York Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    gross hes some kind of hispanic arab

  37. Lindsay Lohan New York Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah what the helllllllllll

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