Lindsay Lohan’s a Bipolar Meth Addict Now

Lindsay Lohan, who should be getting out of jail any minute now, is reportedly being sent to rehab for meth and not cocaine which makes sense now that I think about it. (Shit’s expensive.) Also, she’s apparently bipolar now which, unfortunately to everyone who legitimately has the disorder, is becoming a convenient cop-out for, “My parents whored me out to Disney, so now I don’t know what the fuck.” TMZ reports:

According to a source familiar with Lindsay’s case, methamphetamine and opiates are her “drugs of choice”.
Methamphetamine — also known as crystal meth or simply meth — is a highly addictive stimulant and opiates, generally, have more of a downer effect.
Morningside Recovery — the Orange County, CA rehab Lilo is scheduled to enter — lists opiate and methamphetamine detoxification among its specialties.

I almost posted this on Sunday, but then I figured I should save that kind of drastic action for something that’s actually revelatory and/or groundbreaking. Finding out Lindsay Lohan has a meth habit is like finding out Britney Spears keeps Play-Doh in her purse as a snack. You always assumed but sometimes it’s just nice to have that confirmation. Like finally seeing a Jew eat a penny– For fuck’s sake, Mel! Get outta here.

EDIT: Just kidding. She’s going to UCLA now.

Photos: Getty