Lindsay Lohan’s Gone Full Hooker

October 13th, 2011 // 262 Comments

With her international prostitute ring in full swing, it was only a matter of time until Lindsay Lohan started showing the normal wear and tear experienced by most streetwalkers: Chipped, yellow teeth; strange scars and bruises and the compulsive need to secretly itch one’s freckle-lajora while thinking no one will notice. How she didn’t drag her ass across the carpet until someone put a cone around her neck is a testament of the human spirit – or the presence of an open bar. Probably that last one.

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    oh shit son!
    Commented on this photo:

    Silicone lips and meth teeth. What an interesting combination.

  2. FishBone

    just some crack pipe wear and tear

  3. Boy Wonder

    Holy rotten teeth Batman!

  4. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Me love you long time.

  5. LJ

    Isn’t she in front of the Judge on Monday to talk about all the Community Service she’s done?

  6. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    castallare
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ! Those look like the “scary witch hands” gloves you can buy from Party City this time of year… but cheaper.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she paint her nails in the (stolen) limo ride over?!

  8. Paul S

    Meth mouth, anyone?

  9. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    She is clearly on a worldwide media tour for the Dead Rising videogame

  10. Austin "Danger" Powers

    I wish I had more hands so I could give this crack ho 4 thumbs down!

  11. Tristyn

    Her’s is so pertty ! Can we keep her maw ?!?!?!

  12. NunyaaBidniss

    …and today in Anthropology we are going to be discussing the de-evolution of mankind.

  13. Nicole

    I wish I could clean this girl up. She’d NEVER tan again, NO more fake tanning products, LOTS of moisturizer and anti-aging cream and most importantly a hair color change back to her natural beautiful auburn. She’d look so much more alive. This is a girl who was naturally stunning. I wish she’d embrace it and take a few steps backwards!

    • MJB

      Well, if she can ever escape that septic tank of a family unit she’s got, she’d have a chance. It’s a shame to see someone who had so much just throw it all away.

      • Dick

        Most people have terrible parents, they are all extraterrestrial aliens, you know, but that’s no excuse for her being a crackhead. At her age, it’s all about what you do with your life, not what your parents are. And, that crap on her hands is nail polish, I guess she can’t afford professional manicures anymore, and has them done by a five-year-old slave laborer. As for her teeth and scratches, a cone of shame still wouldn’t help, she’d figure out how to get around it just like my dog does. Poor puppy he has an infection on his face and has been wearing one for a few days now, but he’s still better looking and much healthier than Lindsay. Oh, did I mention that he’s 91 in dog years…she’ll be lucky to make it to 27.

    • She needs to go to a detox spa and drink nothing but green juice and eat steamed fish and vegetables, do colonics, hot yoga and infrared saunas for 6 months straight and MAYBE she’d get some of her looks back.

      • Jack Ketch

        And no sugar, no Coke, no cocaine, no Red Bull, no vodka, no cigarettes, no crack, no dope … ARRGHHHH !!!!!

      • MJB

        Absolutely, Bianca. But she’d have to go about it a bit slowly the first few weeks b/c her body might go into shock. Acupuncture and a whole lot of psychotherapy would do wonders as well. She’s aged so much in such a short amount of time. Who knows if she can gain the cuteness of years past?

      • perri

        Wow, she’ll never survive that. Her whole meaningless existent would be over.

      • Michael

        What, and be like Robin Quivers?

      • woodhorse

        well that would probably stop her from “dragging her ass across the carpet” (that was a tad cruel Mr. Superficial) but it would be a lot cheaper – and fit her budget – just to give her the same worm medicine as my dog takes.

    • josh

      Alas you’d never be able to grow her a brain.

    • Frank Burns

      Not even 40-grit sandpaper and bathtub full of boiling hot bleach could clean this one up. Sad decline from her former looks, I agree.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Tyrone Biggums
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I too late for the 5 o’clock free crack giveaway?

  15. Tyrone Biggums

    Am I too late for the 5 o’clock free crack giveaway?

  16. Rupert Giles

    Okay, I’m starting to feel bad for her. Somebody slap me.

    Also, is she losing her hair too? Check out that spot in front of her widow’s peak. Anyone agree?

  17. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    zombie hands!

  18. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww

  19. BeezidBee

    The teeth: She put her “time to score” dentures in by mistake. The hands: Freebase burns. The hair: You can’t exactly wash a scarecrow straw wig. Not much you can say about her clam – it’s not like it’s going to get any better. You go girl.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Commented on this photo:

    Baaaaarf

  21. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this what they mean when they said “tar baby?”

  22. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Mae
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy. Shit. What causes hands like this?!

  23. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I picked her for my celebrity death pool.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She thinks she’s hot stuff, but milage & substance abuse has rendered her tepid at best.

  25. CranAppleSnapple

    Do not look at the close-up shot. For all of your sanities, I implore you.

  26. zomgbie

    so
    crackie teef – check
    thinning hair/need more weaves – check. /check.
    STOLE ALI’S SHARPIE FOR BROWS – CHECK.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus christ she looks like hell!

  28. RoboZombie

    I look forward to driving her around the back of the supermarket in my pick up truck for a $10 session!

    • Jack Ketch

      Ten bucks ?? Two bucks maybe …

      • RoboZombie

        I was thinking I’d get the whole package for 10…

      • Oh no, Jack, you’d get hosed. While you can get “relief” for $2, If you pay the full $10 she does ass-to-mouth…annnnnnd…SWALLOWS! I’m pretty sure for an extra buck she’ll let you take photos or videos.

    • Frank Burns

      I’d say “hand job only” for obvious disease prevention issues, but good god, look at her hand! What oozing sores on her body was she scratching before she decided to wave at everyone?

  29. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    WHAT HAPPENED TO HER HANDS OMG! Someone needs to help her.

  30. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Tommy
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are the nastiest teeth I’ve ever cum across!

  31. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    rabbit
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a fancy meth addict. :)

  32. Deacon Jones

    As someone that’s hung in there longer than most saying I’d still hit it, these pics are just appalling….I mean christ, look at her teeth! Does she normally wear a venner toothplate in her mouth? There’s no way they went downhill that quick.

    And her fucking head looks like a bloated pig’s. I almost can’t even recognize her from 2 years ago. She looks like she’s having an allergic reaction and her heads about to explode.

    Two thumbs down from DJ. Sadly, two thumbs down…

  33. Venom

    And still no one has answered the most important question.

    What are her rates?

  34. forrest gump

    she is just part of the dirty & rotten scoundrels of hollywood, folks.

  35. titsonsnack

    She always has, and always will just look like that Frankie Muniz malcom-in-the-middle guy wearing a wig.

  36. MM

    Well she does in fact have the grin of an 80 yr old chain smoker, how lovely. The hands though aren’t bruised.. But definitely covered in dark purple nail polish (the tips of her nails are painted.. clearly she didn’t wait for them to completely dry..). What a tragic mess.

  37. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    titsonsnack
    Commented on this photo:

    I was like “oh whatever she probably has some coffee stains it can’t be that ba-aaahhhhrrrgh!!!”

  38. Jack Ketch

    Her “freshly-plumped lips” look like over-cooked hotdog weiners about to explode. Doesn’t doing this long-term result in lip tumours or something like that ? Yay.

  39. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Emily
    Commented on this photo:

    Those aren’t scrapes, that’s nail polish. Obviously she was too high to do her nails cleanly.

  40. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, that looks like a home nail painting effort gone worng! However, I’m more intrigued by the pale writing on her wrist!?!

  41. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    stevebeagle
    Commented on this photo:

    just eating cheetos

  42. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Commented on this photo:

    CLEARLY she’s become a hard working individual. I’m sure she recently planted a garden (for orphans) hence the dried out, calloused hands. She also began a job in a fabric dying plant (for orphans) and… I got nothing. She’s a crack addict.

  43. MJB

    @Dick: Yeah, a lot of people have crappy parents but they don’t all hang out and party together like Lindsay and her mom. People grow up and make their own lives. Lindsay seems to be in the grip of her mom who is a classic enabler.
    Dina doesn’t want to give up her gravy train and favorite trick.

  44. Chauncey

    If you think her teeth are bad just try imagining what her anus looks like.

  45. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    jhoana
    Commented on this photo:

    I can even see the union of their hair extensions :S

  46. V

    In her mind she’s still the cute Lindsay we all knew and liked. Girl look at you. Those disgusting meth teeth. She’s reaching Amy Winehouse levels of gross. All she needs is a missing tooth. The worst part is that she thinks she’s still hot. Look at those chick fillers. She can’t move her face.

    seriously, can’t prostitutes afford a dentist? you’re selling your body, at least make it presentable.

  47. rican

    Courtney Love 2.0

    • Jack Ketch

      Courney Love looks waaaaay better, even with all she’s been through, and actually younger. Yes, surgery, but she still looks way better while being years older than this dirtbag.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Mae
    Commented on this photo:

    She thinks she’s fuckin’ Marylin… Marylin wouldn’t go out in public with horrid flaws like burnt hands and shit all over her neck.

    Deluuuusional.

  49. stratacat

    this is at least the 3rd or 4th picture in her “faces of meth” series.

  50. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    trtgfc17
    Commented on this photo:

    CRACK GAP!!!

Leave A Comment