Lindsay Lohan Wouldn’t Kiss Charlie Sheen In ‘Scary Movie 5′ Because Of His Mou- JESUS!

In case it hasn’t become crystal clear what a goddamn nightmare Lindsay Lohan was while filming what should’ve been a simple cameo for Scary Movie 5, we’ve already learned she tried to bail on the whole production by pretending to have walking pneumonia and clogged all the toilets, and now comes word that she couldn’t even perform the most basic duty that they hired her for: Kissing Charlie Sheen. And not for aesthetic purposes because that would make sense, but because he spends his days banging porn stars who are surprisingly very hygienic once you get to know them/hire them because they’re all secretly prostitutes. Every last one of them. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, she was supposed to kiss Charlie three times during their “Scary Movie” bedroom scene, but she ultimately refused to do it because of Charlie’s wild partying past.
It’s unclear what Lindsay was so paranoid about — but we’re told BOTH parties had to sign releases that they didn’t have cold sores.

Apparently Lindsay’s bitching got so bad that they had to bring in body doubles just for a simple kissing scene which is even more ridiculous once you realize Lindsay Lohan is a hooker who spent almost all of 2008 having oral sex with a lesbian who looks like Aaron Carter with AIDS. Also, I’m pretty sure the same germs that live in Charlie Sheen’s mouth live in his penis. Call it a hunch.

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