“Mmm.. Do they still make those drugs I like?”
[Editor's Note: As I was typing this post, Lindsay was released from rehab, so enjoy all this stuff I wrote speculating on when she'd get out and inevitably drive over our faces.]
Earlier this morning, reports suggested Lindsay Lohan, who’s free to leave rehab today, was going to stick around for more treatment which immediately sounded like bullshit to anyone with even a passing knowledge of her. Turns out she’s sticking around because her beach house isn’t ready yet. RadarOnline reports:
“Even though Lindsay is free from the court order on January 3, she has decided she only wants to be released from Betty Ford once her new living arrangements are complete and ready for her arrival,” an insider close to Lohan’s camp said.
“In the event her the home is ready, she will be released Monday — if not, it could be Tuesday.”
Jesus. Leave it to Lindsay Lohan to treat a court-ordered rehab stint like a goddamn hotel stay.
DINA: You ready to go, honey? We can check into the Four Seasons until your place is ready.
LINDSAY: Nah, I’m going to hang out here. Their massages are to die for.
DINA: Really? But.. but.. how will you drink?
LINDSAY: Wait. You mean there’s not gin in your purse? Oh, God, the room’s getting smaller…
DINA: HA! Kidding! Now quick before the nurse comes. Pretend it’s your eighth birthday. Chug, chug, chug, chug!