Lindsay Lohan Had Booze In Her Car And Somehow Found More Acting Work. In Theory.

June 13th, 2012 // 46 Comments
Lied To The Cops
Lindsay Lohan Elizabeth Taylor
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I didn’t know they make yellow scotch…

I’m trying my best not to turn this place into The Lindsay Lohan-Ficial because I’m pretty sure we’re near the saturation point of hearing about her accident that will result in absolutely zero consequences for her. That said, it’s always hilarious to read how horrible of a drunk she still is. TMZ reports:

Both law enforcement sources and the tow truck driver tell us … cops confiscated a plastic water bottle from the trunk of the Porsche, and our law enforcement sources tell us the bottle contained alcohol. Another law enforcement source tells us the bottle was actually in the debris field and scooped up along with other parts and placed in the trunk before it was towed away.
It’s not a violation to carry an open container in a trunk, so Lindsay is in the clear. And according to cops she had no alcohol in her system.

Talk about incredible news for the producers of Liz & Dick who are already in enough insurance trouble with her getting behind the wheel of a Porsche (With booze in it now!) despite the fact she’s not supposed to be driving during production. Then again, it’s not like she’s always walking around set with a container she brought from home in her hands the exact day this story broke. That’d be ridiculous, although not as ridiculous as the fact that in the midst of all this Bret Easton Ellis thought it’d be a great idea to announce that Lindsay is starring in his latest screenplay The Canyons along with porn star James Deen. Via Indiewire:

Deen will play protagonist Christian, a “trust fund kid, power player and major manipulator, who is a film producer that enjoys filming his own three-way sex sessions,” while Lohan will play his girlfriend/former model, Tara, who “has sold her pride for the material comforts Christian can provide.”

Keep in mind, the “film” will be shot over three weeks on a handheld digital camera to save money because it was funded via Kickstarter and will only debut on Netflix streaming, so really that’s only two steps removed from doing actual porn. Seriously, take out Netflix and Kickstarter and you’re left with two people saying lines no one cares about, now let’s see some banging. It’s the comeback of the century!

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Shasta

    Does a Gatorade bottle count as a container brought from home?

    As a side note, I feel like I should be saving this stuff somewhere so that on the horrible off-chance that I have kids, I can use it to prove that sometimes assholes really don’t live with any consequences, so get used to it. Either that or show that if you suck enough dick, you can show up on Lifetime and get away with stealing shit and running over babies. Both are good lessons.

  2. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    What is the purpose of the shot besides showing us she needs to use some lotion on those knees? OIC, maybe it’s because she’s contantly on her knees! Gotcha!

  3. cc

    Mysteriously, there was also a huge bag of Red Rose flour in the debris field.

  4. 3 post in less than2 weeks? WTF? This Bitch has more lives than cat! Where does she get the money to drive a Porsche, smoke crack ? “plastic water bottle” my Fucken Ass ! Lindsay give it to the credit due,
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/13/ron-de-jeremy-1-340_321.jpg[/img]

  5. JC

    Authorities also found bags of “minerals” Linsday bought in a back alley as part of her mineralogist hobby, and several hypodermic needs, which police suspect were thrown at the wrecked car by diabetics, for reasons unknown. They also found what appeared to be a dead toddler in the backseat, but the medical examiner has issued a statement saying, “It’s probably a toy or doll of some sort, so we’re not going to look into it.”

  6. Barney

    So now all Lindsay’s stories about “drinking water” while out and about go up in smoke. Guess she’ll never learn…once an addict, always an addict!

  7. KFisher

    Is James Deen really breaking OUT of porn, or is Lindsay finally breaking IN?

    For those of us that were hoping for her to sink to Octomom’s level out of pure desperation, this is pretty significant.

  8. logan

    I guess that we all just need to accept that Lindsay Lohan does drugs, sucks down booze like water, lies, steals, can’t drive, smokes, is now doing soft porn and is a grade C actress at best. Not to be forgotten, she is loose and fast with her fire crotch. She will never be a great (good) actress. She just craves attention and we give it to her. Do I feel sorry for her ? NO!!! She is just so…………………annoying? stupid? spoiled? self-centered? mentally ill?

  9. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have a bruise on her knee or something? I can’t tell.

  10. kimmykimkim

    Drunks are hilarious!

  11. natalie

    Little known fact: Richard Burton moonlighted as a pizza delivery boy. I look forward to learning other tidbits of history from this marvelous biopic.

  12. EricLr

    “And according to cops she had no alcohol in her system”

    Luckily for her, a breathalyzer can’t pick up heroin, cocaine, bear tranquilizer, and semen.

  13. YTBOY

    She look very beautiful with the dark hair!! People make me want to puke for saying all those mean things about her. She’s a lovely girl!!!!

  14. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    For fuck’s sakes, someone get the girl some knee pads… fucking amateur.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah… this is gonna need a lot more work…

  16. Nathiest

    First it’s a rental not actually her car. Second she’s legally allowed to drink. Third Cops can lie too. Forth Clear plastic bottle with trace amounts of alcohol? Mouth Wash!! duh!

  17. Geof

    The project with James Deen will usher in this whore’s porn career. Odds that he tags it day one?

  18. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    cagster
    Commented on this photo:

    Her floor must be filthy.

  19. herbiefrog

    peace babe… : ))

    let’s put this incident behind us…

    who gives a f*** ?

    our baby is ok after a nasty crash…
    who cares who woz drivin’ ?
    linds is ok L : ))

    • Who gives a fuck, Linds? I’ll tell ya: The truck driver you rear-ended, the truck driver’s attorney, employer, and insurance agent, the assistant you might have have killed while you were texting “I charge by the night” to whomever, the cast and crew (particularly the producers) of your “movie”, the insurers of the movie, California drivers who have to abide your dumb distracted skeezy ass out on the roads with them, and California taxpayers who will have to pay for another justice abortion as we sort out whether or not you’re going to jail. Again.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    Whether living in a delusional alternate reality where you still matter because you’re not just a boozy party girl slash hooker but a SERIOUS! ACTRESS!, or just getting in the passenger side of the van you have to take in order to keep your serious acting job … anytime is the right time for duck lips.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicotine stains and burn marks on one glove, orange makeup on the other. Just like Liz.

    Oh, my God, I just noticed that the bottom half of her calves are a different color than the top half. Are they really going to film her like that? Awesome.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    Lawl, her legs vs her feet. It’s like she’s sprouted a light furry orange pelt.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    FFS, doesn’t anyone care about the costumes enough to tell that skank not to smoke when she’s wearing them?

  24. Joe

    I feel the need to point out that the trunk on a Porsche is in the front of the car, not the rear like on many American cars. It is entirely possible that it was in fact in the trunk judging by the damage to the front end of the vehicle.

  25. Qwerty

    Lohan needs some real jail time, like years in jail and not this revolving door crap she’s been getting with a little slap on the wrist. Even then she still probably won’t change her ways but at least she’ll get the punishment that she has deserved for years.

  26. That movie with James Deen sounds like a Kelli McCarty’s “Faithless” situation. I look forward to her jump into the porn scene.

    Deen does some really hardcore stuff for Kink.com. Soon Lindsay will be making movies with Princess Donna.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, yes. I remember hearing about Liz Taylor’s insatiable appetite for Parliment cigarettes and UV Cake vodka mixed with Gatorade…and diamonds.

  28. |What i don’t understood is in reality how you’re not actually a lot more well-preferred than you might be right now. You’re very

  29. Lindsay Lohan Car Accident Bruises Covered Liz And Dick
    Matt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a photo of this woman where she is NOT smoking?

  30. “I’m trying my best not to turn this place into The Lindsay Lohan-Ficial:”

    Try harder, dude.

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