Lindsay Lohan Tweeted Her Drug Test Confession From The Bar

September 23rd, 2010 // 41 Comments

When Lindsay Lohan shockingly admitted to failing her drug test without blaming her dad or a shadow government dedicated to making her look bad, it was just assumed she either Tweeted it before going out and getting drunk or her publicist wrote the whole thing. Turns out she cranked that shit out while knocking back Jack Daniels which I blame myself for not immediately suggesting was the case. It’s so obvious. Us Weekly reports:

But a witness saw the star craft her statement that night on her Blackberry at Hollywood eatery Magnolia — and tells the new Us Weekly that a flippant Lohan laughed and quaffed Jack and Cokes as she typed.
Lohan composed her missive as her assistant and a male pal coached her on how to make it “more personal,” the witness recounts. “Her friend would say, ‘No, use ‘setback,’ don’t say ‘mistake.’ They’ll say you make mistakes all the time!” The friend went on, “It’s better to say you’re responsible. Denying it will just get everyone mad per usual.” Lohan’s response: “She giggled” and had her assistant order her another Jack and Coke, the Magnolia spy tells Us.

While this sounds like a situation that has nowhere to go but wrapped up in a shower curtain, Chad Ochocinco has the answer. Via Versus:

I think she needs to date a black dude.

BOOM! I’m on board. Not only with this cultivate diversity, but finally Lindsay’s fastest way to score coke money will no longer be the simple task it once was. “Wait. That whole thing? Ugh, this’ll be like actual work. — I quit. Drive me to rehab.”

Photos: Splash News


  1. gogo


  2. gogo


  3. RasputinsLiver


    Bitch needs 30 solid days in the hole. Then tack on another thirty days for good measure.

    Then slap the bitch into a boot camp style rehab for six months.

    Then repeat the process as many times as it takes to wipe that smirk of entitlement, arrogance and all-around bratiness off her fugly face.

    And chuck Dina into the same ringer but in opposite places. Make these cunts beg for mercy.


  4. Lindsay Lohan
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t want to stop because her drugs of choice make her feel energetic, euphoric & keep her thin.
    If she stops she’s probably terrified she’ll get fat…which is worse than dead in Hollywood.
    Fine, snort up all of Columbia, just don’t fucking drive.

  5. The fact she tweeted a half doz times in a few mins should have been an orange flag

  6. The Lohans all suck

    Worthless self centered cunt.

  7. fester

    Lindsay will never be a lawyer, she couldn’t pass a bar.

  8. Photoshop Police

    contempt of court = jail time

    p.s. – entering minute 937 of spedi’s 15 minutes

  9. TAB

    Sadly, unfortunately she will not get what she deserves..if it was any of us..we would’ve been placed in front of a firing squad!

  10. ZigZagZoey

    She should be thrown back in jail for those incredibly horrid shoes. She looks like SHIT.

  11. The Lohans all suck

    Her punishment should be to send her to a place with no internet, no cameras, and no fame.

    Let her die a miserable death and starve her of the limelight and attention she craves.

  12. Don

    She probably tested positive for Adderall, which is not contempt of court if she has a valid prescription.

  13. mercy

    Okay, serious question…Why all the hate for Lilo? Did your ex-girlfriend who kinda looked like her ask somebody else to prom? No doubt, she is all kinds of trouble. But she is also hella beautiful and marginally talented. That counts for something in L.A. And in pre-defense for the almost certain backlash…take your hand off your penis and try to type something relevent. Aging losers.

    • Cock Dr

      Serious answer – she comes off as an entitled bitch.
      She has an apparently well deserved rep for being a thief, and not just petty theft but high dollar items like furs & jewelry.
      She has an obvious substance abuse problem yet won’t stop driving.
      And some men are probably mad that she went all lesbo with a homely women.

    • ughh

      Hate to break it to you, shit for brains, but you are aging at exactly the same rate as everyone else here. And it’s spelled “relevant.” You’re welcome.

  14. jamaican

    This fucking cunt whore needs a jamaican cock mon.

  15. Jen

    im so sick of hearing about this shit. just let me know when she gets 30 days in the clink. PEACE OUT BITCH!

  16. Katy

    Boy has she trashed her face. Between all the drugs and lip injections, she looks like the upper end of 40.

  17. Amy

    She “Crafted” her statement? Really?

  18. Anyhow current outfit is nice and sexy.

  19. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    What the f is going on with her face?

  20. Ilikeyp


  21. mercy

    I hate you all! DIE! My vajay-jay is lacking some suck. Come on over, Gaylords…suck it

  22. e,e

    This sounds made up. She has a friend?

  23. captain america

    sorry but what an idi*tic country she lives in.

  24. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    id hit it

  25. Mercy

    LOL @ Mercy… got some good comebacks…. i still like Lilo for some reason,, no matter what she does i still have good hopes for her and hope that she gets out of this mess and gets her life back together.. ppl can be very judgemental but who are we to judge others and their actions!? We know who’s job is to judge…Stop the hating people!!

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