Despite showing up to looking like the World’s Puffiest Little Coke Addict, Lindsay Lohan apparently thought she was still the big-breasted, underage freckle girl America couldn’t wait to stick its penis into and tried to schmooze some rich guy at the amfAR Gala into buying her a $20,000 diamond watch. (Read: She forgot her good thievin’ purse.) Page Six reports:
Spies said that when Lohan recognized a wealthy Canadian financier at a nearby table, she shot over to schmooze him — but then sent an assistant over when bidding on the charity auction began.
“There were items being auctioned for $20,000,” said a spy. “After chatting with the businessman, Lindsay sent over an assistant, who said, ‘Lindsay would very much like it if you’d bid on this item as a gift.’ ”
However, the gentleman declined. “He just cracked up,” our source said — and the piece, believed to be a Hublot diamond watch with a white alligator strap, went to another bidder.
In this guy’s defense, there’s no way he would’ve got the 4,000 BJs necessary to break even on this deal before fashion week ended. Lindsay Lohan’s good, but she’s not that good. Now had the watch been only $10,000, she probably could’ve knocked out her end in a night. It really comes down to math, so she shouldn’t take it personally not counting that part where her face ruined the whole deal. Just fucked it right up.
Photos: Splash News
And by assistant, we mean someone who is so desperate for fame and so totally “cracked out” that they would willingly work as assistance to Lindsay Lohan.
I was about to say, I find this story shocking—Lindsay has an assistant?
it was her mom.
It is only February and my Dead Pool is really gonna score big at this rate.
LOL stupid whore
LOL indeed
Lindsay: (to assistant) A Canadian financier, you say? Hmmm…. They don’t have the Internet up there yet, do they? Quick – how’s my hair? How’re my teeth? How do you say “deep throat” in Canadian?
Kinda weird that I am surfing this website, seeing as we don’t have the internet yet. I must be a bleeding edge Canadian. Either way, this coke whore’s squish mitten is all used up.
$5 for a blow job? That’s a tad high for insertion into a meth mouth.
I mean, really, lol.
sad
“Lindsay would very much like it if you’d bid on that vat of penicillin as a gift.”
What kind of famewhore hanger-on would one have to be to interrupt a stranger’s dinner to try and get them to buy a Lohan a watch? How many times do you imagine this person has cleaned up vomit and god knows what else?
“Lindsay would very much like it if you’d purchase that Whopper, Jr. as a gift.”
I’m so disappointed every time I read her name and it isn’t her obituary.
Very difficult to spot cocaine spills or any kind of splotches/stains/powders on a coat like that.
Just sayin’.
“Lindsay would very much like it if….oh, fuck it, I’ve had enough of this life.” (Puts pistol in mouth, pulls trigger.)
(cue music) “I’m singing in cocaine, just singing in cocaine. What a glorious feeling, I’m happy again.”
“TITS OR–actually.. just get the fuck out.”
Not gonna end with her, is it?
It seems that Lindsay Lohan is now a homeless beggar.
Come on…I realize he probably could not have gotten it up enough to justify that many BJ’s but he could have treated his friends.
Sorry to be mean but not really, she looks like she shops at TJ Maxx (no offence TJ).
Just when you think she’s scrapping the bottom of the barrel, she surprises us all by stooping just a wee-bit lower. How long before she starts to steel from baby strollers?
I really hate to sound like I’m clutching my pearls, but — really! This, if true, is one of the worst things I’ve ever read about her.
Just in case you needed another reason to want to be a wealthy financier…you get to crack up in Lindsay Lohan’s face when she makes a ridiculous request. That’s worth the price of an MBA right there.
Can we all agree that Lindsey Lohan has pretty much become the drug addled slut that Tara Reid played in The Big Lebowski?
God she looks washed out.
Dirty dish water comes to mind.
She’s got a really disgusting double chin.
hi
Pick yourself up and don’t fall through the cracks. your much to wise a nd smart for that. you already know this. Peace out sister!! much love!!
This gem from the nineties comes to mind whenever I read a Lilo post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjv1z0JYxy0
omg fish needs to play this song with every lilo post.
garbage-stupid girl (all you had you wasted)
I’m just surprised Lindsay even knows what a watch is, since by reputation she hasn’t been on time anywhere for years.
So, she’s made it official. She’s now a hooker.
By any reasonable definition, she sure is. Overpriced, I should add.
even californians can’t deny it any longer.
SHE IS PENNYLESS & BROKE .
so where will this story end? THE GRAVEYARD?
For 20k she better let me crap and pee on her face after I’m done banging her. Not that I’m into that stuff but I mean it’s Lindsay Lohan. Why not crap on her if you can?
And you can. :)
“$50 is standard, but…did you say an eight ball AND a Waffle House gift certificate? STOP THE CAR.”
She is a nervy bitch!
Fluffy white coat hides the meth powder best
That is so deeply cringeworthy. I just want to smack her in the head.
OK, so the mark got wise to her scam – next week’s the pigeon-drop and that’s sure to work. Eventually she’s gonna be running a 3 Card Monte game on Hollywood Blvd.
Geezus… this stupid bitch has absolutely no shame. What did she do, promise him she suck & fuck him if he bought her a watch? Maybe those rumors about her turning tricks are true after all…
hmm there is no evidence this happened, i mean i am sure she is a total trainwreck but right now it is so easy to say anything you like about her and for people to half believe it, so it may be true or it might not be
Seriously, she still gets invited to events like this?
sneaking in the back of another event
No no NO, respect my privacy PLEASE!
Lohan uses her repulsor field
No, no,no. I haven’t got any panties on!!