And Now Here’s Lindsay Lohan’s Sad Video

While Emily Ratajkowski’s LOVE Advent 2014 video awakened me on a spiritual and emotional level by making me realize that, yes, I absolutely would have a threeway with a panda, Lindsay Lohan’s is a sad, depressing look at the futility of life. Her breasts were so big, and yet everything about her is fucked beyond repair. What hope is there for the rest of us? *listens to Photo Boy whisper in his ear* Don’t get addicted to coke? Really? That’s it? Fascinating. False alarm, everybody!

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