Thanks to her incredible talent for agreeing to show up at charity events then not showing up once the check clears, Lindsay Lohan now has the perfect combination of time and money to have every single freckle on her body removed because who needs a natural camouflage for herpes? Am I right? I’m right. Radar reports:
“Lindsay is known for trying new things, but she’s shocked friends and family members by suddenly getting irate over her freckles,” a source said.
“She’s always loved her freckles – well, pretended to, anyway – but now she’s decided it’s time to get rid of them and she’s looking into having them either bleached or lasered away,” the source added.
As for how long something like this might take, a plastic surgeon told me it can be done in under a decade as long as everyone agrees to only look for Waldo and not The Wizard or the key. (There was a debate over finding the scroll, but was settled after a team found it under her left tit. There were no survivors.)