Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Lindsay Lohan is super serious about being sober now that she’s inexplicably been tossed a bone in showbiz, and she won’t mess it up this time. Honest. Because that’s exactly what she told Matt Lauer in a new interview with TODAY:
“That’s not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.”
Setting aside the fact she’s literally living at her favorite bar, Chateau Marmont, for the express purpose of crashing parties (And letting Terry Richardson pump her full of coke so he can take pictures of her tits.), here’s how many times Lindsay Lohan has been out in just the past few weeks, and this is only counting the times she’s been spotted:
Golden Globes After Party – January 16, 2012
SAG Awards After Party – February 2, 2012
amfAR Gala – February 9, 2012
Immediately Following Her Probation Hearing – Literally 6 Days Ago
In Lindsay’s defense, she fell out of Dina Lohan’s vagina, so right off the bat her sense of reality has been skewed thanks to a rare symptom known as gin fetus. For all we know, Lindsay thinks she’s studying scripture every time she snorts a line of coke. “Does The Bible make anyone else’s nose bleed? More importantly, who’s that shaggy elephant talking to Big Bird? I can’t be the only one who sees him.”
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News
I hate her as much as anyone else, but she didn’t say she hadn’t been out in months. She just related a story of something that happened months ago.
Someone please block the feces that is being thrown at me right now.
We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig for coke in Lauren’s
desk
To dig dig dig dig dig dig dig for coke is what we do
best
High hoe, high hoe, I’ll do anything for blow.
*whistle part*
The Double chin tells you this is her last fucking chance.
She looks just like Nancy Spungeon in the first photo.
I get it…..she and Christina Aguilara are the SAME PERSON! Mystery solved gang, we can all get back in the mystery mobile and go get baked. I mean, go get a soda.
Is this druggie hoe bloated now because of the side effects?
She’s getting bigger.
bitch looks like a coked up pig
What happened to Christina Aguilera!?
The nylon hair – why? she has lovely natural red hair and she chooses to look like a ravaged bleach ho?
maybe Rachel McAdams is feeding her Kalteen bars.
Wow, Courtney Love looks even worse than usual
Damn, she packed on some pounds! She’s so washed out, its said because her career started out great until she started party with rich b*tches like Paris Hilton…..(crowd say Paris who???) She’s so 2006!
You’re so ugly!! Go away Lindsay, just go away it’s okay!!!
why’d i think of john gotti just then…I guess I’ll never know
Eww. crack ho pics .nasty sorry ..worthless..she looks like total sheeeiiiittt!ELLE you need to find a btteer class of people to waste film on.