Lindsay Lohan Told Matt Lauer She Hasn’t Gone Out In Months

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Lindsay Lohan is super serious about being sober now that she’s inexplicably been tossed a bone in showbiz, and she won’t mess it up this time. Honest. Because that’s exactly what she told Matt Lauer in a new interview with TODAY:

“That’s not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.”

Setting aside the fact she’s literally living at her favorite bar, Chateau Marmont, for the express purpose of crashing parties (And letting Terry Richardson pump her full of coke so he can take pictures of her tits.), here’s how many times Lindsay Lohan has been out in just the past few weeks, and this is only counting the times she’s been spotted:

Golden Globes After Party – January 16, 2012
SAG Awards After Party – February 2, 2012
amfAR Gala – February 9, 2012
Immediately Following Her Probation Hearing – Literally 6 Days Ago

In Lindsay’s defense, she fell out of Dina Lohan’s vagina, so right off the bat her sense of reality has been skewed thanks to a rare symptom known as gin fetus. For all we know, Lindsay thinks she’s studying scripture every time she snorts a line of coke. “Does The Bible make anyone else’s nose bleed? More importantly, who’s that shaggy elephant talking to Big Bird? I can’t be the only one who sees him.”


Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News