Lindsay Lohan Told Matt Lauer She Hasn’t Gone Out In Months

February 29th, 2012 // 88 Comments

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Lindsay Lohan is super serious about being sober now that she’s inexplicably been tossed a bone in showbiz, and she won’t mess it up this time. Honest. Because that’s exactly what she told Matt Lauer in a new interview with TODAY:

“That’s not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.”

Setting aside the fact she’s literally living at her favorite bar, Chateau Marmont, for the express purpose of crashing parties (And letting Terry Richardson pump her full of coke so he can take pictures of her tits.), here’s how many times Lindsay Lohan has been out in just the past few weeks, and this is only counting the times she’s been spotted:

Golden Globes After Party – January 16, 2012
SAG Awards After Party – February 2, 2012
amfAR Gala – February 9, 2012
Immediately Following Her Probation Hearing – Literally 6 Days Ago

In Lindsay’s defense, she fell out of Dina Lohan’s vagina, so right off the bat her sense of reality has been skewed thanks to a rare symptom known as gin fetus. For all we know, Lindsay thinks she’s studying scripture every time she snorts a line of coke. “Does The Bible make anyone else’s nose bleed? More importantly, who’s that shaggy elephant talking to Big Bird? I can’t be the only one who sees him.”


 

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Bidingmytime

    All kidding aside she is looking busted.

    • Govt. Cheese

      Yessur!!! Plus her voice sounds like crap…

    • Jamie Lynn's Uterus

      Completely busted. She’s an addict, they lie all the time, its what they do. She’ll never stop partying and will be the next one found in the bathtub.

  2. Basement Jack

    Why did you post a picture of Sally Struthers? I don’t get it.

  3. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Linda Tripp! Long time no see!

  4. KV

    She’s really gaining weight fast. I’m starting to believe she actually quit drugs and it’s all about vodka now.

    • wayne coy

      I am totally in agreement. Crack, meth, whatever the hell kinda shit she was on keeps you thin. The fact that she has filled out quite a bit makes me think she actually may be truthful about giving up those demons. Now liquor is another story but I’m not about to cast aspersions at that. Drinking makes you think better, drive better, and raise kids better. Even is it double-chin’s you at times.

    • Clarence Beeks

      she is definitely drinking and maybe doing pills.

  5. Hasn’t gone out…of her way to take care of herself…in months, perhaps.

  6. Smile Pretty

    Lindsay Lohan is a crack head, God rest Davy Jones.

  7. mrsmass

    she looks JUST like Miss Piggy.

  8. Schmidtler

    Imagine how much weight she’d put on if she gave up the cigarettes, coke & meth!

  9. cc

    That would explain the steady stream of economy cars with signs on their roof coming and going from her house.

  10. From the looks of things, she’s ordered in.

  11. Lindsay Lohan
    MarkM
    Commented on this photo:

    I liked her better before she got pregnant.

  12. pretty vacant

    congrats lilo!!!!!
    everything u said sounds just like an alcoholic in denial.

  13. hmna

    My wife, who actually has better things to do than look at gossip websites, was shocked at how old Lindsay looks.

    I, on the other hand, have nothing better to do and know the truth.

  14. Lindsay Lohan
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the heck is ‘chunk’ here?

  15. Lindsay Lohan
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Pies!

  16. Lindsay Lohan
    yomama
    Commented on this photo:

    hey it’s that chick from Shallow Hal!

  17. Lindsay Lohan
    Sabu
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she look like Bette Davis in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?

  18. Lindsay Lohan
    Whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Omg, is she on steroids or something?

  19. Cock Dr

    Her face is puffing like a pumpkin…the fashionistas won’t care much for that. PhotoShop does actually have limits to what miracles it can perform.

  20. Lindsay Lohan
    Savalas
    Commented on this photo:

    Hasn’t gone out in months? Bullocks, boyo!

    Based on that picture, I’d wager she goes out for a bucket of fried chicken at least twice a day.

  21. Lindsay Lohan
    ares
    Commented on this photo:

    “HomeBody”… Well, she got that one right

  22. El Jefe

    Jesus Christ, is she on the Jessica Simpson diet?

  23. This whole SNL thing has given me an idea for a screenplay. A washed-up, alcoholic actor is booked to appear on a live comedy sketch show, and they make some junior assistant look after her for a week to make sure she shows up sober for rehearsals and broadcast, or it’s the assistant’s ass. Hilarity ensues.

    What do you mean, “it’s been done before”?

  24. Lindsay Lohan
    noakley
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta hand it to her, LiLo is all in for this Liz Taylor thing. Looks like she’s method acting the 1980 Liz “fat Elvis” era. Either that, or she’s replaced her diet of coke, adderall, and semen with twinkies.

  25. Lindsay Lohan
    HLM
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait…Is that Lindsay Lohan? Or a pregnant Kate Hudson?

  26. vgirl

    Coke BLOAT.

  27. Lindsay Lohan
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    that has to be a fat suit!

  28. Lindsay Lohan
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Aguillera lost some weight!

  29. hijkmno

    she must be getting ready to film the Elizabeth Taylor biopic and assumes they’re starting with the fat years.

  30. Lindsay Lohan
    Lita
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Photoshopped? ‘Cause if not, that’s totally not Elizabeth Taylor-esque.

  31. Holland

    Holy cow her face looks like the Goodyear Blimp!

  32. Lindsay Lohan
    Sardonic
    Commented on this photo:

    The silicone from her lip injections are now pooling in chin.

  33. nyer

    Wow. Does she not think people don’t recognize her when she goes out? My friend and I bumped into her (literally, for my friend) in St. Marks here in NYC last weekend. For those of you not familiar with NYC, St. Marks is an area chock full of bars, restaurants you go to to drink on the weekends, and other such places.
    And yeah…she looks pretty busted in person, too. :/

  34. anonym

    that double chin surely shows she hasn’t gone out for a while.

  35. I’ve never seen anybody snort ground KFC, but I know better than to dismiss the notion right away.

  36. Mike

    Yeah, she looks really old. She needs to be taken away from that famewhore family, work out like mad, and get rid of the beach blond hair. Lest we forget, she was once gorgeous and talented.

  37. Lindsay Lohan
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks 38 years old now.

  38. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    GRANDMA!!

  39. CranAppleSnapple

    When Lauer asked her if Whitney’s death registered or got through to her at all, and she frowned/sneered and looked away and said “Not really” as though she had nothing in common with that situation, I wanted to punch her stupid face in.

  40. Shutter Speed

    She’s a fat version of the wife on American Dad

  41. Lindsay Lohan
    MaryGIL
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not a medical expert, but I am curious if her weight gain or swollen look is because of issues with her liver, it’s called edema.
    She could use a good nutritionist and a shrink. She needs to physically detox. Her health is probably not in the best place. But livers can be healed, and she is young.

  42. Mama Pinkus

    I really feel bad for this girl – she looks puffy – is that from alcoholism / drugs or is she replacing those with a food addiction? Either way, she doesn’t look well. I’m rooting for her to have a good SNL experience. However obnoxious Lindsay has been in the past she has truly paid for it, and needs for something good to happen.

  43. Lindsay Lohan
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Now if she could find her husband Meathead.

  44. SFRowGuy

    Time is relative. Lindsay was in jail for months, has been in various trouble with the courts for almost a decade, and has been drug-free and sober for days. So hasn’t been out in months? Sure.

  45. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    How is Whitney dead and this chick is still walkin? It’s the prescriptions! She will blow coke and slur gin till 55. But add some scrips in there and she’s gone is 60 seconds. Fuckin medical community. Just sayin….

  46. puddleduck

    She looks like somebody hooked her lips up to a bicycle pump and over inflated her…one more pump and her face will explode.

  47. forrest

    I don’t know her weight.
    BUT IT MUST BE CLOSE TO TWO HUNDRED POUNDS YET, folks!!!!!!!!

  48. Nathiest

    Well she needs a home gym to work out or that body of her’s is going to get faaaaat!

  49. terry

    She comes across as dismissive with a tHollywood entitlement complex.
    That is she can do whatever because she’s a star. She is garbage. Emma Stone is doing what Lohan should be doing. Emma is an A-lister with millions seeping out her pockets and talent to boot.

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