Lindsay Lohan Thinks She’s In Her Prime

September 1st, 2011 // 68 Comments

Lindsay Lohan spent last week getting shit-faced with her mom at Kim Kardashian’s wedding and begging Steven Soderbergh to deny basically saying she’s unhireable. So, of course, she just got a new tattoo of Billy Joel lyrics that read “Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife I feel like I’m in the prime of my life.” TMZ reports

We’re told Lindsay felt the lyric was important to her because “It represented where she is in life and everything she’s been through … it signifies that she’s focused.”

If I had a nickel for every time Lindsay Lohan said she’s “focused,” I could pay her to do porn. And, yes, I know she’s probably said it only 10, maybe 15 times. That was the joke, and now you just ruined it for everybody. Why don’t you have a seat, Encyclopedia Brown?

Photos courtesy of, Flynet


  1. too bad no one learns the *correct* message from megan fox..

  2. Clarence Beeks

    “Big Shot” would have been more appropriate – “Spoon up your nose”.

    she is about 5 years too late for the quote she picked.

  3. Facebook Me

    She is as focused as if she was viewing the world through coke bottle lenses.

  4. Facebook Me

    AND she is STILL unhireable.

  5. Mick

    You know what does a better of showing focus; instead of getting a shitty tattoo how about get a fucking job and stop being a useless fame whore.

  6. God is Black

    Seriously Fish , why do you give her precious web space on Superficial to air her bullshit? Isn’t she in her early 20s but fricken looks 40? Porn-stars don’t even age as fast as this THING! Jenna Haze has been in the porn business for 10 yrs and I would love to fuck her(Protection of course) but I digress…….. Shank period

  7. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I’m bored

  8. Anon

    She should have tattooed “Call me a joker, call me a fool.”

    Lyrics from the same Billy Joel song.

  9. The Brown Streak

    Lindsey is showing off her was here tattoo

  10. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t lay a lot of scorn on the girl for her tattoos. At the very least they’re tasteful and somewhat meaningful. It’s not a bunch of big, obnoxious crap.

  11. jordan

    encyclopedia brown? OMG GTFO! LOLOLOLOLO!!

  12. She’s turned into one of those people who is famous for being famous. Sucks to have peaked with Parent Trap.

  13. The only thing Lindsay is prime for doing is double anal porn.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Commented on this photo:

    Clear as mud,
    Smart as a shrimp,
    How many months,
    ‘Till I work for a pimp?

  15. MarkM

    Clear as mud,
    Smart as a shrimp,
    How many months,
    ‘Till I work for a pimp?

  16. mike

    billy joel went to rehab three times and actually has a career

  17. Venom

    This bitch’s career is over and I think that anyone that tattoos verses on their body is the lowest form of white trash on the planet, not to mention severely mentally impaired.

    Let me know when she officially becomes a high priced escort, hopefully before she defiles herself with Chris Brown.

    • LJ

      I don’t think that even Chris Brown is stupid enough to come within a half mile of that.

    • Jack Ketch

      High-priced ?? Gah … $2.00 ho is more like it.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      It’s kind of awesome to imagine the scene in the ole people’s home though. It would be like from the movie “Dude where’s my car?” DUDE! SWEET!

  18. Pete

    I bet she’s in her sexual prime.

  19. kimmykimkim

    The most shocking thing about this is that she’s wearing a bra.

  20. stratacat

    The real story here is that she’s actually wearing a bra for once.

  21. Beefarino

    She should have the lyrics:
    We drown our doubts in dry champagne
    And soothe our souls with fine cocaine.

  22. thespiral

    Lay off the girl, her only job right now is partying, getting tattoos, public humiliation, and snorting blow off homeless dudes’ cocks.

  23. Compound9

    Stop just fucking stop, We used to like you. When you were a redhead in mean girls it was hot (although Lacey Chabert takes the cake for truely being hot, I love you lacey.)

    Lindsey, at this point you are un-hireable, undesirable and offensive to all the senses, you look like a used up crack whore who is way past her prime and the only thing that makes you look halfway human is the literal shit ton (2117 pounds) of make-up and the tight hotpants that hide the nasty ass cottage cheese chunky disgustingness. Oh and the freckles, they used to be cute now they look like cancer. Please do yourself a favor and clean your shit up, fix yourself. Lay off the whatever is making you so nasty and just fucking stop. Help yourself were tired of making fun of you. and we wouldn’t mind seeing you act again if you could clean your shit up and act like a goddamn responsible adult. Otherwise we wouldn’t care but you are just sad to watch now.

    • TomFrank

      I never knew Lacey Chabert was more than just a Family Guy punchline.

      • Compound9

        i don’t recall her ever actually being a punchline in a episode, she lended her voice as meg for the first two seasons or so but thats it from what i remember.

        She is just plain fucking beautiful and she doesn’t seem to be the type to fuck up her life in a years long bender to prove she is relevant.

        Just like how i fell in love with Christina Ricci in “Casper”, it was Lacey’s role in “lost in space” that first got me hooked on her, unlike Lindsey i hope Lacey continues to act.

        P.s. yes christina ricci and lacey chabert were both young in those movies but they are both still older than me so its not creepy, i think.

    • karlito

      i think someone is in love with Lindsay. come on Compound9, you’d bang Lindsay in a heartbeat

  24. She should be taking roles in low budget indie films trying to show people that she is committed to acting but I’m sure getting song lyrics tattooed on her person is just as good.

  25. Jimmy

    Billy Joel lyrics, huh? Way to keep that finger on the pulse of what’s cool, Lindsay.

  26. Do Freebird

    I totally agree. All the tattoo says is that she’s still sinking like a stone and it’s a long way ’till she hits rock bottom.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Why couldn’t she have taken a line from “Only the good die young”?

  28. apollo

    Feeling more empowered than ever without any legitimate reason? Suicide in 3…2….1…

  29. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s just really bad kerning between the “e” in “like,” and the word, “I.” At least there aren’t any typos. It’s always embarrassing when you have to go back to the parlor and have the word, “sic,” tattooed next to your tatttoo.

  30. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Do Freebird
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m Lindsay Lohan and I dont have to worry about punctuation mainly because i have no idea what it is

  31. Grammar School Teacher

    I bet she doesn’t even know that her new tattoo is full of grammatical errors: missing commas, period, and quotation marks, and that doesn’t ever include the terrible cursive writing style by the artist. Too bad a tattoo is permanent, otherwise I’d go over it with a red pen and give her a sad face mark. Stupid girl! Stupid girl! Stupid girl!

  32. Joe

    That tattoo will only make producers less likely to hire her even for gratuitous nude shots because she’s not worth the $10,000 needed by post to digitally remove it.

  33. dotmatrix

    You know you’ve really hit rock bottom when you get Billy Joel glurge tatted on you.

  34. bing

    Good job you’ve just ruined your body dumb bitch.

  35. Tootles

    Ugly delusional cunt. Getting a tattoo (that makes no fucking sense) doesn’t change the fact that you are a used up old whore who’s career is in the shitter.

  36. Pat C.

    If I have a message that’s impotant to me, I just stick it up on the refrigerator or the cubicle wall. I don’t permanently ink it into my body.

  37. herbiefrog

    so so sad… you poor onanists just don’t get it…

    crystal : ))

    looking great babe… ignore the ape men : )

    they only write with one hand while the other rummages around in their pants…

  38. That clinches it, I’m going to go get my favorite line tattooed on me:

    “Dear Lord, please grant me the ability to punch people in the face over standard TCP/IP.”

  39. Arzach

    That’s not going to work unless she shows her tits … by whatever reason

  40. forrest gump

    when will she accept she’s seen as a hollywood loser now?

  41. Burt

    “Clear as crystal meth, sharp as a hot knife I feel like I’m in the prime of my life.”

  42. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Normal Male
    Commented on this photo:

    LiLo’s view of her new tattoo:

    efink a sa prahs ,latsyrc a sa raelC
    efil ym fo emirp eht ni m’I ekil leef I

    And yet the only way she can read it is in a mirror. I’m sure she has plenty of those lying around the house.

  43. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    roberto de la cruz
    Commented on this photo:

    lindsay-is still young-got a long way before looking bad-i like her-go lindsayxxxx

  44. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute girl.

  45. Veronica

    If this is the prime of her life, she’s in big fucken trouble.

    • Encyclopedia Brown

      Biologically, she is nearing her prime. She’s 25. Scientific studies put the human prime at around 33: it’s the period in life where people are statistically most likely to do something truly great, excelling in music, writing, athletics, or the sciences, if we have it in us to do so in the first place. Just so we are clear, getting a Billy Joel lyric tattoo doesn’t qualify as “something truly great.”

  46. It should have read: “My bite is not worse than my bark, my career has jumped the shark.”

  47. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she is hot and sexy! However worried about it ending to soon. I wish her the best

  48. Stefanie

    The fact that she actually got a tattoo and a photo of her with the tattoo makes it look obvious shea an attention whore.

    What. A. LOSER.

  49. michmasterflex

    am i the only one who thinks so pretty haha

  50. Lindsay Lohan Tattoo Billy Joel
    Commented on this photo:

    Clear as crystal meth

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