Lindsay™ Might Be in Superman

April 4th, 2011 // 62 Comments

If you consider “sources close to Lindsay Lohan” to be someone besides her mom talking in a fake British accent, apparently she’s is talks to star in Zack Snyder’s Superman: Man of Steel, according to RadarOnline:

“Lindsay plans to return from New York on Wednesday and meet with producers and read with an actor who is up for the role of Lex Luther,” a source close to the actress told RadarOnline.com.
The film’s powerbrokers remain interested in casting her in a role as a villain, RadarOnline.com has been told.
Lohan had wanted the role of Superman’s love-interest Lois Lane, but is said to be excited with the news that producers are still considering her for another gig in the much anticipated film, despite all her issues.
“Lindsay said she would be ecstatic to be part of the Superman movie… it’s a dream of hers,” close pal Nathan Folks told RadarOnline.com when asked about the potential casting.

If any of this is even remotely true, the only way Zack Snyder can torpedo this movie anymore in the eyes of fans is to have Batman kick Superman’s ass in the first five minutes followed by a brutal twenty minute butt rape at the hands of a prototypical high school bully. Which he’s probably considering right now in really slow-motion. “Hear me out: What if during the love scene, the “S” from Superman’s belt falls almost excruciatingly slow into a puddle of rain while “Free Bird” plays? Then, just as he’s ready to fight back, every Marvel character kicks him in the dick. Let’s do that.”

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. argleblargle

    Nothing is more threatening than a villain who is easily distracted by white powders and shiny objects.

  2. RoboZombie

    Quaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

  3. Damion

    damn she actually looks like a real live person

  4. Lindsay Lohan Superman
    Commented on this photo:

    Whats her super power going to be? Meth fueled super speed?

  5. I originally thought the title was Linday Might Be Superman, so I thought, “Oh, what drug is she one now?”

    • uncle ruckus

      Haha so true. Not just due to her rep as a drug fiend, either. That’s how little I care about DUMBASS COMIC BOOK MOVIES.

  6. Sly

    Hoe-is Lane

  7. Greg Suarez

    Finally that natural green glow emanating from Lindsay’s crotch will come in handy.

  8. Ty Sullivan

    Thought there was no Lex Luther weighing this next movie down?

  9. I forgot she was an actress.

  10. dpbefun

    I would do her…in the butt.

  11. You’d have to be Superman to survive a go at Lindsay™.

  12. the one

    you haven’t seen my grandma’s yet?
    correct: BOTH ARE DEAD!!

  13. jlowejd5

    Hey, RadarOnline! What kind of idiots do you have running the show over there who can’t even spell Lex Luthor right? You call yourselves intarweb nerds? Fie upon thee!

  14. misterfister

    Let me guess…she’ll be a villain called Herpezilla and she’ll give Superman something that is far worse than kryptonite underpants…

  15. Nate

    Ms Tessmacher ?

  16. If there are Pow and Bam pop-ups while Batman kicks Superman’s ass I’m totally there!

  17. Richard McBeef

    She’s confused and doesn’t understand that she is being casted for the porn spoof. Usually they wait until after the movie’s release before the porn spoof, but since it’s an old rehash of a movie based on a rehash of a goddamn comic book from the 50s, there really isn’t any part of the story that we don’t already know.

    • Lindsay saw the word “superman” on the call sheet and immediately alerted the press…missing the fact that it’s “Vivid Productions Presents: This Ain’t Superman” and she’s reading with the actor who plays Sex Loosener, not Lex Luthor.

    • This Ain’t Superman, Scene1.

      Superman: “Gah! Feel… weak. My cock…it… BURNS!!!”
      Lindsay™: “Turns out he’s faster than a speeding bullet in the sack, too”

      *Benny Hill theme*

      Fin.

      (Careful with that joke, it’s an antique.)

  18. Lindsay Lohan Superman
    Jack Swagger
    Commented on this photo:

    For any other nerds who read All-Star Superman: wouldn’t Lindsay make a decent Cat Grant? Vapid, annoying, almost terrifying looking, and no major effect on the story.

  19. MarkM

    He should have put her in This Movie Totally Sucks Punch…She would have actually worked well in that.

    • JC

      She lacked one crucial qualification for Sucker Punch: Those actresses were able to stay upright long enough to shoot the 45 seconds of non-CGI filming required.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Superman
    f*ck2rock2
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is her mouth always hanging open? It looks really stupid.

  21. Rumor mongering at it’s best. Casting Lindsay in a major movie project would just guarantee uninsurability for the production. She’s got a LONG way to go before it’s going to be possible for her to appear in a major studio production.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Superman
    artsfo36
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone know what brand sunglasses she has one? Love em!

  23. Lindsay Lohan Superman
    artsfo36
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone know what brand sunglasses she has one? Love em!

  24. APPLE

    Somebody needs to hire her so she can fix that horrible weave!!!

  25. Buttercup

    If they give her the part, they are going to need to rename the move “SuperStupid.”

  26. Lindsay™ as: Hobo #2

  27. IreneWienne

    Fish, did you just but “Trade Mark” next to her name? Wow!

  28. So Superman is going to be battling Lex Luthor and Jizarro in this one, eh?

  29. herbiefrog

    “Reese Witherspoon Takes Her Pants Off…”

    …don’t we all ?

    nice pic btw

    [[[oh i see your point... [no you cant] shhh…

  30. crazypants

    She’d be a good Ms Tessmacher for the 21st century.

  31. Pit BuLL LOVER

    a role in ANY movie is “a dream of hers….” please. sure, she has been dreaming of being in superman…..yeah i believe that…

  32. Lindsay Lohan Superman
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a really awful dye job. Blonde does not look good on her at all, she needs to go darker again or just go back to her natural fiery roots.

  33. SoFine

    New DC arch nemesis? “Fire Crotch!!!!!”

  34. I imagine they might have considered her for the role of Lois Lane if it were even remotely believable that she can read and write above a third grade level.

  35. Clay Hill

    Lohan is a joke, she is undependable. I would not hire her, and I’m sure not going to see her movies.

  36. Doc Scweinstrudel

    Then she’ll proceed to Supermeth and finish it with Supermess

  37. just say'n

    Judging from these pictures, Lindsay™ needs Rogaine™ or Propecia™.

  38. You know how Superman can blow and it’s like a hurricane? Lindsay has the same power, only in reverse. And she can do it with her mouth AND her nose.

  39. Gary B

    It’s not a Superman film unless they do something to totally RUIN it. For this film Lohan is it.

  40. Hmm

    This is how her delusional effed-up family works. Dina thinks by putting these rumors out there, it will generate enough interest to get her some other z-list role. That’s exactly how she got the offer for the Linda Lovelace movie. All these Hollywood producers will hear the news that she “might” be in this movie and then they will want her also.
    #Fail.

  41. Deryn

    Ten pictures, and her god-awful duck lips can’t form a seal in a single one. Sigh.

  42. LJ

    Stupid girl can’t be up for any role since there are a lot of open questions on her court/probation/jail situation.

    Until that is all resolved she is unemployable, no matter what Lindsay™’s mommy says.

  43. dee cee

    She can play Lex’ Luther’s girl.. miss muff.. Lindsay doesn’t say or do anything, she hangs around, he just calls her that a lot and giggles., while she has a Wot? blank expression, waiting for him to tell her more

  44. sideshow_bob

    lindsay might be in a lot of things…and a lot of things might be in her, but nothing really comes of it.

  45. Burt

    She wants to do the movie because of a misunderstanding. She thinks they’ll have “cracktonite” for her if she signs the contract.

  46. Lara

    wait…how does she look good now?

  47. KayKay

    Super stoked Lindsay is playing the Parasite on the new Superma….oh wait

  48. WTFisgoingon

    WTF … this would be horrible, I’m a huge superman fan and the biggest anti lindsay fan. If they cast her they might as well cancel the movie… Snyder, STOP MAKING BAD DECISIONS! Doesn’t Chris Nolan have any input? This would be horrible.

    • Gonzaa

      don’t listen to that fool I rspceet the fact that your putting your self out there and not being afraid of reticule. and for only having have played for a few months its not to shabby

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