Lindsay Lohan’s A Movie Star Again!

The last movie Lindsay Lohan made went straight to video and was the subject of an amazing New York Times profile on why you should never, ever hire her as an actress. But that was before Oprah took her under her wing to prove that she can take humanity’s trash and repolish it into a marginal actress with a somewhat sustainable career which is exactly how Lindsay Lohan was able to hold a press conference at Sundance without Sherpas appearing and tossing her off a cliff. Via Huffpost:

The 27-year-old, who is attempting a comeback after well-documented battles with drugs and legal troubles, came to the independent cinema showcase Monday to say she will produce and star in a film called “Inconceivable,” set to start shooting in March.
A crew from OWN, which is airing a reality series about Lohan, filmed the actress’s news conference. Reporters were told that if they asked personal questions, they would be escorted out.

And if you think it as amazing as I did that AP writer Sandy Cohen made sure to point out the The Invisible Hand of Oprah, this entire piece is a goddamn cavalcade of shade:

Most performers and producers at Sundance have films showing at the festival and don’t come just to announce a planned production — those are usually announced through news releases. But producer and financier Randall Emmett, who sat beside Lohan, said Sundance is “just a special place for us to announce this film.” He called Lohan “one of the greatest young actresses of her generation.”

Gee, I can’t imagine why they’d do it this way. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t do ulterior motives. This is a classically trained actress of stage and screen we’re talking about:

I’ve never had the honor of coming here before … to bring something to the table, which is starting fresh for me,” said Lohan, smiling broadly. “And I’m filming my Oprah docu-series right now, so I get to that to the people who have been watching that as well.
“It’s a nice change to be back among people that are in the industry that I’ve been in since I was a kid.

No, that can’t be it. I mean, this is Lindsay’s big comeback, dammit! In a real, live movie that has no director or other actors in it yet somehow shoots in six weeks:

No director or co-stars have been announced, but Lohan already has plenty of ideas.
“I even approached Juliette Lewis and was emailing some other people,” she said.

See? Everything’s under control. Lindsay ran into Juliette Lewis at Marmont and sent a few emails. That’s practically half the film right there. I’ll tell the Academy to look for their screeners. It’d be a shame to miss this.

Photos: Getty, Splash News