Lindsay Lohan’s A Movie Star Again!

January 21st, 2014 // 44 Comments
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The last movie Lindsay Lohan made went straight to video and was the subject of an amazing New York Times profile on why you should never, ever hire her as an actress. But that was before Oprah took her under her wing to prove that she can take humanity’s trash and repolish it into a marginal actress with a somewhat sustainable career which is exactly how Lindsay Lohan was able to hold a press conference at Sundance without Sherpas appearing and tossing her off a cliff. Via Huffpost:

The 27-year-old, who is attempting a comeback after well-documented battles with drugs and legal troubles, came to the independent cinema showcase Monday to say she will produce and star in a film called “Inconceivable,” set to start shooting in March.
A crew from OWN, which is airing a reality series about Lohan, filmed the actress’s news conference. Reporters were told that if they asked personal questions, they would be escorted out.

And if you think it as amazing as I did that AP writer Sandy Cohen made sure to point out the The Invisible Hand of Oprah, this entire piece is a goddamn cavalcade of shade:

Most performers and producers at Sundance have films showing at the festival and don’t come just to announce a planned production — those are usually announced through news releases. But producer and financier Randall Emmett, who sat beside Lohan, said Sundance is “just a special place for us to announce this film.” He called Lohan “one of the greatest young actresses of her generation.”

Gee, I can’t imagine why they’d do it this way. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t do ulterior motives. This is a classically trained actress of stage and screen we’re talking about:

I’ve never had the honor of coming here before … to bring something to the table, which is starting fresh for me,” said Lohan, smiling broadly. “And I’m filming my Oprah docu-series right now, so I get to that to the people who have been watching that as well.
“It’s a nice change to be back among people that are in the industry that I’ve been in since I was a kid.

No, that can’t be it. I mean, this is Lindsay’s big comeback, dammit! In a real, live movie that has no director or other actors in it yet somehow shoots in six weeks:

No director or co-stars have been announced, but Lohan already has plenty of ideas.
“I even approached Juliette Lewis and was emailing some other people,” she said.

See? Everything’s under control. Lindsay ran into Juliette Lewis at Marmont and sent a few emails. That’s practically half the film right there. I’ll tell the Academy to look for their screeners. It’d be a shame to miss this.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. let the peeing in butts commence.

    • Randal

      Lindsay has always been a movie star, and continues to shine as bright as ever. After battling the demons of drug addiction, Lindsay has emerged from her chrysalis and spread her wings.

      There is a radiant glow on her healthy skin, a smile that releases happiness and a playfulness that captures her Mean Girls role.

      Lindsay, you took a break from the top, and we’re all happy you fought your way back! Stay clean, be healthy and remain positive!

      Randal

      • Rubick's Doob

        No, Lindsay, we’re really not. You are much more interesting as a drug addled, law breaking, BJ giving for coke train wreck of a shitty actress. You’re at the top of my Under 30 Dead Pool. Keep it up!

      • Randall you pathetic toe sucking douche nozzle,

        Lindsay has always been a drug addicted POS and continues to leak intestinal flux from her well used anus. After pulling a fast one on Oprah Winfrey, she has been given much more money than anyone of her scant talents deserve.

        There is a radiant glow on her sperm covered cheeks that only a well performed bout of oral sex can give that recaptures virtually every night of her sorry ass existence.

        Lindsay, you took a break from your inevitable fall into the cesspool of life while some turbaned guy paid for your vacation errrrr rehab.

        Oh and Lindsay, we all hope you die – just wait until your 28th birthday, OK? I hate to see you get put in the twenty seven club.

      • If there was ever a story that needed Randal’s perspective, it’s this one.

      • “Remain positive”? You mean her HIV status?

  2. I don’t know who Randall Emmett is, but he’s either blind and deaf or hooked on bath salts.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    In baseball there are 26-67 year old guys who used to be can’t-miss blue chip prospects who are now getting their third or fourth chance to show what they have to offer. Some team invites them to spring training hoping lightning will strike. They usually end up selling life insurance. Not sure why that popped into my head.

  4. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this is my flirty, ‘Oh, you have coke?’ look. Bow before my acting prowess!”

  5. “Inconceivable”? Is this a movie about how years of drug abuse have shattered the basic chemical processes of her womb?

  6. JC

    I’ll give them credit for being subtle enough to call the film “Inconceivable,” as opposed to “Abandoned Production” or “Don’t Hold Your Breath.”

  7. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looking pretty hot, I have to admit

  8. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m excited to be here today to announce that I’ve accepted the role of ‘Astro’ in the live action reboot of ‘The Jetsons’”

  9. “I’ve come to announce that I have perfected the ability to unhinge my jaw you guys. So, you know, just bring your wieners and baggies of coke backstage when you are ready”

  10. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    The Sherpas didn’t appear and throw her off a cliff? Fuck, what are we paying them for, then?

  11. The ship carrying my ability to give a rat’s ass what this shiny Bratz doll does sailed a long, long time ago.

  12. I'mCool

    Lindsay, you keep using that word … I do not think it means what you think it means.

  13. lindsay stop sending me emails.
    im.not.gonna.be.in.your.movie.

  14. After watching Ms. Lohan in Machete, attempting to watch Liz&Dick, and watching the trailer for the Canyons, my wish is that Ms. Lohan start taking acting classes.

    Just because you were cute and knew how to mug for the camera as a kid doesn’t make you and actress as an adult.

  15. JimBB

    “Reporters were told that if they asked personal questions, they would be escorted out.”

    Yes, because everyone gives a rat’s ass about some movie that she hasn’t even made yet, not her trainwreck of a personal life.

  16. For you folks who aren’t aware, Cheetah Vision is a film production company founded in 2009 by Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson and Randall Emmett. Yeah, Randall Emmett AND 50 Cent are the owners of the company that is producing this POS.

    What else about Randall? He was voted worst HollyWood Boss of 2009:
    http://gawker.com/5380757/shocking-upset-in-hollywoods-most-despised-boss-awards

    Oh, and wait until you look at imdb and see the utter shit that he has forced on the American public:
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0256542/

    Look at his photo on IMDB – he looks like the kind of guy who would pay five million to Lohan just to have access to her various openings. Scumbag is a word that comes to mind.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    A true method actress knows how to use her hands to hide her 2nd chin.

  18. Randall Emmett we need to know does she swallow or spit it out? Because that’s the only reason you gave her a job right?

  19. Margaret

    I think the book it’s based was actually called “Uninconceivable.”

  20. The film’s is called Inconceivable? She’s making this really easy, isn’t she? Hell from now on any time I read a Lohan post, I’ll instantly think of Wallace Shawn.

  21. So some rich producer told her he’s gong to bankroll her in a movie called “Inconceivable”?

    I wonder if she even had the taste rinsed out of her mouth before she realized she’d been trolled?

  22. anonymous

    She is still working on that Oprah thing? Explains why we haven’t seen her with any johns in months.

    The Oprah PR machine is well worth the cost if they kept her out of the media spotlight for this long.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Mort S. Nerd
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks really good in these pics. The legs are a little thin for my taste, and I’m not a fan of skinny jeans (when will they just go away?) but her face and figure look great. She’s always looked pretty hot, when not coke-thin or booze puffy.

  24. Jesus Christ, just how good are her blow jobs?

  25. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Bree
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks better sober but the damage is done! She is so young and is already getting wrinkles on her neck and face. I think her best days as an actress are behind her. There’s no way she’s not going to screw up again she already has a few close calls.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Bree
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so ugly!!

  27. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello everyone, I am here to announce that I am going to be producing and starring in a new major motion picture.”
    “Inconceivable.”
    “That’s right, you’ve heard of it already?”
    “Huh? What are you talking about? I was merely stating that I am unable to conceive a scenario where you are still making movies.”

  28. Lindsay Lohan Inconceivable Press Conference Sundance Film Festival
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Fun Fact: Randy Emmett, her producer (pictured), is who Turtle is based on in Entourage.

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