Lindsay Lohan’s Life Is ‘Storage Wars’ Now

December 13th, 2012 // 49 Comments
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Because Lindsay Lohan doesn’t believe in paying anything that isn’t Dina‘s mortgage, she now owes $16,000 on a storage unit that will most likely go up for auction because the IRS took all her money. So now might be a good time to finally “thank” Charlie Sheen and hope he’s a tipper. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan is on the verge of losing expensive designer clothes, family heirlooms and potentially embarrassing items … because she hasn’t paid her storage bill and as a result the unit is about to go up on the auction block.
Sources close to Lindsay tell us … LiLo has fallen behind on paying her monthly bill … and now owes roughly $16,000 to the storage company.
The account is now delinquent and the locker can’t be opened until the balance is paid in full…

Can you even imagine what the inside of a kleptomaniac cokehead’s storage locker looks like? The thing has to be stuffed to the gills with stolen clothes, purses, heirlooms from other people’s houses, who the fuck knows? In a way she tried to steal the very storage space this shit’s stored in, so the possibilities are endless. They’ll probably find Jon Benet Ramsey in there wearing Elizabeth Taylor’s fur coat and nothing but an old Play-Doh Fun Factory for nourishment. “Please, red lady, don’t make me pick pockets again. The light… it hurts.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

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  1. How can someone possibly fuck something like this up? You got all this money and storage units are comparatively dirt ass cheap. It wouldn’t be a stretch to buy a long term lease (multiple years) in cash, up front. Problem solved.

    This girl could fuck up a cup of black, no sugar, no cream, coffee. She could fuck it up with someone else brewing it FOR her.

    Mother of God.

  2. Prediction: Darrell outbids Dave Hester for the locker. Turns out to be nothing but junk.

  3. PurpleMonkeyDishwasher

    She’l be ringing in the new year by doing porn.

  4. Storage Whores, a new series from A&E.

  5. El Jefe

    How long do you not have to pay for a storage unit to rack up $16,000 in bills? WTF?

    • Edvard Munch

      Storage in Beverly Hills is $16,000 a month. Just because your chorizo maker and churro stand can be put in East LA Storage for a night with your seester, don’t think Lohan puts her crap in there.

  6. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Montana
    Commented on this photo:

    I was so scared thinking that I had hit another car, but it turns out it was just a stupid STROLLER!

  7. Drundel

    I will so DVR that episode. I predict a lot of blurred out items.

  8. Cheery McGringle

    Hey…every generation needs their own train wrecks!

  9. Adam Frawley

    I for one am looking forward to the morgue photos. She will not change in any way until she hits rock bottom, which for addicts can be exiting the mortal coil.
    Whatever looks she had are dissipating rapidly.

    • She was never pretty, just wholesome-looking is all, low-end average, I’d say. Sister Ali ? Unfortunate looking. And how sad is it that you have to get face fillers and new teeth before your 26th birthday ? She is vile.

  10. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    n.
    Commented on this photo:

    How did her face get so puffy? She doesn’t look like she’s gained any weight.

    • Adam Frawley

      She’s trying to implement character immersion for a possible “Hobbit” role that her coke dealer lined her up for .

  11. jay

    she could fuck up a wetdream

  12. zomgbie

    if terry richardson pays her 10 grand so he can get naked and jerk off while taking her picture, she can just do 2 more photoshoots with him and shes got some left over for drinks.

  13. KC

    I’d be afraid to buy her storage unit because you’d probably end up being charged with being in possession of stolen goods.

  14. Geraldo

    Finally I get a chance to redeem my Al Capone nightmare!!!

  15. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll bet that storage unit is where she stores her dewlap, or wattle or in the parlance of our times, her jowl cream.

  16. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Luopis
    Commented on this photo:

    I am sorry, but I never figured out what does she really do.
    Is she an actress or…? Why is she even famous in the first place.

    • gregsuarez

      Hot knockers and the illusion of being sexually available to even those of us who can’t get her into the best parties.

      • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

        Oh, just wait awhile. When she’s doing porn she won’t be going to the best parties anymore, except perhaps as back bedroom “entertainment”. (Separate admission applies.)

        The parties she’ll be invited to will be a different class entirely. Think “pay-per-view”.

  17. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    Old lady face.

  18. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s more jowly than Walter Matthau doing his Marlon Brando impression in the voice of Droopy Dog.

  19. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Firecrotch? More like fried-up ccotch amirite?

  20. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “How DARE you suggest I had to do something to Charlie for those 100 grand?”

  21. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, sudden aging, disappearance of acting talent, persopnality change, kleptomaniac tendencies… What if someone actually stole Lindsay’s skin years ago and has been living in it while Linds’ mutilated corpse is lying in a ditch somewhere (Russel Brand’s basement). Is that you Dina?

  22. Namehere

    I thought that she was supposed to be a natural red head. Those roots don’t look red to me.

  23. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Carolyn
    Commented on this photo:

    Those lips……

  24. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, she already has the lips for porn. Porn is a good way to make money fast. And hers would sell like hotcakes because it’s what we’ve all been waiting for. Morbid curiosity is a hell of a thing. I would suggest she hit the gym hard first.

  25. Lindsay Lohan GMA Probation Revoked
    Commented on this photo:

    Air guitar !!!!!

  26. blahblah

    WTF is wrong with her face? How did she ruin herself?

  27. I bet the stuff will smell like b.o., rotten teeth and fishy cooter. And that’s just due to her in-progress perfume line being stored there.

  28. herbiefrog

    yuuuup : )

    we’ll buy it…

    ..for you ?

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