Lindsay Lohan Skips Town After Jewelry Theft Because That’s Not At All Suspicious

August 22nd, 2012 // 31 Comments
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Yesterday, we found out that Lindsay Lohan was questioned by the police after attending a house party Sunday night that, surprise, ended in the owner’s jewelry being stolen. So here’s Lindsay immediately skipping town last night because she’s practically a ninja at not looking guilty as shit. “People will just think I’m a jet-setting movie star,” she’ll say to no one in particular, massaging her stealing fingers for more stealing.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, NGRE/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. what?

    tons of family jewels

  2. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    logan
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the bad character from Mad Magazine. Can’t think of his name, help me out folks. But she is a drop dead double for him.

  3. She’s clearly preparing for her next heist. The Smithsonian? The Hermitage? The Louvre? Can anyone foil… The Freckler?

    *nod to sparkymcgee*

  4. BeBo Wobbley

    I just love when you ignore the police statement that she is not a suspect and go straight to she’s guilty….once again proving that fact check is never an option for the team at The Superficial….But your mindless drivel is good for a few laughs….

  5. Lemmiwinks

    I think Lindsay is really D.B. Cooper.

  6. O.J. Simpson

    AND murdered Nicole and what’s-his-name.

  7. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    Commented on this photo:

    “So your new name is Billy, and mine will be Yasdnil. I’m from Russia, and we met on the internet. I’m carrying this sack of jewelry because you’re a big-time jewelry dealer person, and you love me, and you gave me all this jewelry because you want me to stay here and you also want me to be in your new jewelry commercials. Got it? Now, where’s that place where we can sell some of this jewelry for cocaine. What? Those are cameras, not microphones, idiot. They can’t hear what I’m saying.”

  8. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch is running around like Carmen Sandiego.

  9. tlmck

    Smart move going out of town to fence the stuff.

  10. EricLr

    Tomorrow’s headline: Police arrest Lindsay Lohan for pawning stolen jewelry

    Friday’s headline: Judge orders Lohan serve 2 hours of community service for theft

    Next week’s headline: Lohan fails to show up for community service, judge says “Close enough.”

  11. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

  12. Get Serious

    This bitch…

  13. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    ilivedinpompeii
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay is like that friend you had when you were thirteen that insulted all your stuff yet manged to get you to lend her all your clothes then proceed to “lose” them and then make fun of you in front of guys when you tried to bring it up. Bitch.

  14. Clarence Beeks

    She’ll be photographed wearing the stolen jewelry within a week. yes, she IS that stupid.

  15. Skippy

    WE ALL KNOW YOU DID IT.

  16. Mallory

    Her acquaintances in New York will be missing a few possessions soon … after she has a few auto collisions … after stumbling out of a few nightclubs … after visiting a few ‘connections’ …

  17. Don Draper's Dad

    She was last seen with Anita Bath and Lou Pole. Especially that last one.

  18. Prince Bare-y

    G
    U
    I
    L
    T
    Y.

  19. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    Commented on this photo:

    The watches were too hot, so for travel money she pawned her pants.

  20. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    Commented on this photo:

    TSA: “Please put your bag on the belt here and come on through … great. Okay … watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, ring, ring, flask, ring, handcuffs, watch. Looks good! Have a nice flight, Miss Lohan!”

  21. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    Commented on this photo:

    Bra, FFS. My boobs look better than that and I’m twice your age.

  22. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    Commented on this photo:

    looks so ugly~ hate her

  23. Sue Rosenorn

    Thats what they get for letting a known thief into their house.

  24. Lindsay Lohan LAX Day After Jewlery Robbery
    what the huh?
    Commented on this photo:

    what does she have against underwear? i wonder is she owns any of any kind.

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