Lindsay Lohan Pulled Another Jewel Heist. Allegedly.

August 21st, 2012 // 77 Comments
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Apparently it’s Creature of Habit Day, because TMZ is reporting Lindsay Lohan went to a house party Sunday night where jewelry mysteriously went missing and the two dudes she brought with her are the prime suspects. I’m as shocked as you are:

The party lasted all night. Lindsay left at around noon Monday, but before she took off … the owner realized several expensive watches and some sunglasses were missing. He told everyone to stay and then called the cops.
The cops approached Lindsay and began asking questions. Lindsay then asked, “Am I a suspect?” A cop answered, “No.” Lindsay — who knows a thing or 2 about her legal rights — blew them off and left.
The owner of the house told cops … he believes the 2 men Lindsay brought to the party stole the goods.

I like how Lindsay asked if she’s a suspect because that’s something an innocent person asks all the time. Even better, notice how the cops just completely let her go. They probably walked over to the owner and shot him for even suggesting she’s behind it. “You jerk, she’s having a comeback!” BLAM! BLAM!



  1. What is she, a fucking supervillain now? I imagine she has a lair somewhere on an island and it is just filled with jewels and stolen property. And there are a bunch of henchmen in catsuits hanging around and bringing her platters of cocaine while fanning her with palm fronds.

    The Freckler!

  2. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Doesn’t her assistant know you bend at the knees and not the waist when picking up Lindsay’s coke?

  3. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    jimmy james
    Commented on this photo:

    look out! the girl in the back is about to do the crane kick!

  4. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Sucks when the hotter chick in the back ground ruining your shot.

    • squiggy

      “Hotter” implies that there are two hot women in the photo. You have to look past the ugliness to see the beauty…behind her, and to the left.

  5. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    THAT’s how you pee on the beach…

  6. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    i want the girl behind her!

  7. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take the girl at the back. You can take the girl at the front. Deal?

  8. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Odd place to get a carpet burn.

  9. elephantman

    Flabby Lohan.

  10. El Jefe

    Get a fucking safe idiot!

    I have a decent sized watch collection and my watches are kept in a locked watch box that I put in my safe when I have parties and also all my bedroom doors have keyed locks. If you can spend thousands of dollars on watches, invest $200 for a fucking safe and another hundred for some keyed locks genius so no on steals your shit.

    The idiot deserves what he got for both not securing his property and also inviting Lindsay Lohan to his home.

    • mel

      no doubt! what the shit do you expect when you drunkenly tell lohan to come back and party? things will inevitably get stolen and red splotches will begin appearing on your wang coupled with a sharp, burning pain when you try and whizz,,

    • Burt

      Your advice is sound (I also keep my valuables in a safe place and I don’t invited convicted felons and their “entourage” to my home), but nobody deserves to get robbed.

  11. Jack Ketch

    A “scarf,” red flats ??? and a Gucci bag for the beach ??? LOL

    • Schmidtler

      c’mon, give Blohan some credit – she’d never bring all that crap to the beach. She just lifted it all while she was there.

  12. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, that’s a hot chick right there. Great body, nice pert butt.

  13. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Ocean, you are no match for my Crane-style!

  14. debs

    lol do us all a favor and throw her in the drink, no dont give her one she is trying to drive these days

  15. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:


  16. Why would the cops say she wasn’t a suspect? Everyone there should be a suspect. That part sounds like shenanigans.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    We need follow ups on the cutie behind Lohan.

  18. Buddy The Elf

    Seriously WHO in that city would want anything to do with this washed-up-never-been loser?

    In a city of talented, wealthy folks I cant understand how they havent run this chick and her worthless family right out of town with pitchforks and torches.

    • Jack Ketch

      No shit … and wait until Kate Major has her baby, if she does. Hitherto unexplored realms of media-whoring and douchebaggery !!

  19. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave it to Lindsay Lohan to fuck up the “contrast friend’ concept.

  20. debs

    and darrrrrrling you will neva be elizabeth taylor you dont have the class

  21. Poop-head

    Who belongs to that butt on the left? O__O

  22. Cock Dr

    For an owner of expensive pocketable items to allow LiLo and her assorted hangers on into his/her house is kinda like inviting Count Dracula inside for a tour of the community bloodbank.
    There’s going to be major inventory discrepancies.
    Either don’t let her in or lock up your shit!

  23. Beaver Underground

    This might sound pornographic so don’t misunderstand. But it’s pretty circumstantial evidence that just because they came together she was involed in the theft.

  24. lipo

    she went to an all night party and didn’t leave until noon the next day.
    Oh yeah she’s sober. no doubt. all sober people do that.

  25. What in goddamned gypsy hell is she wearing?

  26. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Liz Taylor: The Thespian Collection

  27. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take what’s behind Whore #1.

  28. Archie Leach

    Crackhan should be left to enjoy herself before she joins the 27 Club sometime next year.

  29. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Who goes to the beach with a table cloth around their neck?
    Stop trying so hard to impress, we aint buyin!!!!

  30. Ho'Wood

    Dear Lindsay:

    Stop drugging, Stop drinking. Stop rolling out of clubs. Stop driving while impaired. Stop making movie shoots problematic. Stop shoplifting. Stop stealing from homes. Stop showing off your pale, flaccid, freckled flab. Stop skanking around in public, in general. Thank you.

    Signed, The World.

    P.S. The tablecloth scarf becomes you.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    who the F*CK takes a purse to the beach?

    • Burt

      You realize that it’s not a coincidence she’s standing next to the hot chick, right? Who goes to the beach and stands around with their back turned at the waves? She was posing for the photographer (yes, singular). I’d be willing to bet she stood right next to the hot chick, or was told to do so by the photographer, in order to bump up the price of this set of pictures. Yes, I think that’s how she earns a living. Selling pictures of herself to tabloids and websites. Beats doing real work, and it pays so much more.

  32. Jersey Lillie

    She might spy a little something (of someone else’s) she wants to sneak in there and take home. Some shiny jewelry or something.

  33. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay looks like yesterday’s leftovers compared to the girl behind her.. Epic ass.

  34. Get Serious

    And, now, according to TMZ, she has fled the LA area, taking a flight back to New York. I have no doubt she’s guilty of being involved in this, because she’s now attempting to be unavailable for further police interviews, in hopes of slowing down the investigation.

    Just once, I wish someone would gut check whorehan by administering a serious beatdown to her ugly face. She is the most self centered arrogant entitled twat in Hollywood; she needs a gut check badly…

    • Burt

      The victim apparently thinks her “friends” did it, which suggests that she may soon become a material witness, maybe even a suspect. Doesn’t look good for her to be taking off like that. Then again, if anyone believes and understands that any publicity is good publicity, it’s her.

  35. Ben

    Damn she looks rough.

  36. Jake

    The chick in the back is so desperate to get away from Lilo she’s already swimming. On dry land.

  37. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Billy Barty, Jr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugliest . Suit . Ever.

  38. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we see Lindsay Lohan, the new, self-appointed “Protector of Everyone Else’s Stuff,” going through some lady’s bag, “just to make sure nothing is missing!”

  39. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Performance art is SO James Franco.”

  40. Jaariel

    A backpack, a purse, a scarf, a tablecloth, a towel, and an ugly-ass bathing suit. Perfect accessories for the beach!

  41. the apples don't fall far from the tree

    “The owner of the house told cops … he believes the 2 men Lindsay brought to the party stole the goods”

    Other sites are reporting that the two people she went to the party with are: her assistant Gavin Doyle, and her younger bother Cody. So either her assistant has sticky fingers, or baby brother has graduated from diving recklessly around the neighborhood drunk in his golf-cart to stealing jewelry.

  42. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Crouching tiger, blatant crack whore

  43. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder if the Indian rain dance is to wash away all the crabs on the beach?

  44. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Bruised Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    He invited Lohan to his house and then, is suprised when shit goes missing? Genius.

  45. Yes!

    Absolutly love how there are never any consequences for this girl ever. Such a coincidence that bad things constantly happen whenever she leaves her house.

  46. Captain Obvious


  47. Bronxie

    So the ‘one-person crime wave’ is back in New York. Fabulous.

  48. YTBOY


  49. Jake

    Come on, Lilo NEEDS some watches. How many times was she late for her court appearances? Late for probation? Better hope the watches are digital, and have date and month on them too. Plus a secret coke hiding place.

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