Lindsay Lohan Stole $90K In Limo Rides

“Let’s see: Two cameras, one security guard- Eh, fuck it, I’ll just walk in and take shit.”

This may come as a shock to you, but apparently Lindsay Lohan obtained some form of goods or services without paying for them, so clearly, this is some sort of mistake because she’s so rich and pretty. TMZ reports:

Elite Transportation Limo and Security Services claims Lindsay rode with them from February 2009 to May 2009. Elite claims Lindsay also booked limos for her friends and family. Some of the payments show a $6,000 an hour rate, which also includes security.
As for payments … well, Elite says she pulled a Lindsay. And with penalties and late charges, the $33,978 bill has now swelled to $90,585.79.

To any business owners out there, there’s a simple solution to all this: Always make Lindsay Lohan pay cash. If she walks into your store or calls your company, simply say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re a thieving freckle-whore, so we’re going to need to see a stack of bills upfront.” Not only will this save you an inevitable revenue loss, but chances are you won’t even have to pick her up because her mom immediately collects the money after each trick lest she gets the “liver hand.” I heard Lindsay tried to hide a twenty under her pillow once, and Dina smelled it from two blocks away. Granted, Lindsay might’ve spilled some gin on it, you get my point.

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in [email protected]! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.