Lindsay Lohan Stole $90K In Limo Rides

October 10th, 2011 // 57 Comments

“Let’s see: Two cameras, one security guard- Eh, fuck it, I’ll just walk in and take shit.”

This may come as a shock to you, but apparently Lindsay Lohan obtained some form of goods or services without paying for them, so clearly, this is some sort of mistake because she’s so rich and pretty. TMZ reports:

Elite Transportation Limo and Security Services claims Lindsay rode with them from February 2009 to May 2009. Elite claims Lindsay also booked limos for her friends and family. Some of the payments show a $6,000 an hour rate, which also includes security.
As for payments … well, Elite says she pulled a Lindsay. And with penalties and late charges, the $33,978 bill has now swelled to $90,585.79.

To any business owners out there, there’s a simple solution to all this: Always make Lindsay Lohan pay cash. If she walks into your store or calls your company, simply say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re a thieving freckle-whore, so we’re going to need to see a stack of bills upfront.” Not only will this save you an inevitable revenue loss, but chances are you won’t even have to pick her up because her mom immediately collects the money after each trick lest she gets the “liver hand.” I heard Lindsay tried to hide a twenty under her pillow once, and Dina smelled it from two blocks away. Granted, Lindsay might’ve spilled some gin on it, you get my point.

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.


  1. Cock Dr

    Shocking revelation. Absolutely shocking.
    I’m sure this is all just a big misunderstanding. LiLo will certainly be around to put things right in a day or so. Just give her a ballpark estimate of how many drivers she’ll be servicing so she can bring enough condoms.

    • Facebook Me

      Condoms are an extra fee. Hence she was once given the nickname “Fire crotch,” assuming for more than just the red hair.

      • Artofwar

        …. $6,000 an hour??? The only services I’ve ever known that merits $6,000 an hour comes with two high-end hookers, and an ounce of Colombian snorting medicine. If it doesn’t include both the aforementioned—nothing in this world is worth 6K per hour—nothing!!!…..Artofwar

    • WE have a rough problem

      Maybe it was a ride from NY to LA. BTW she should pay for wanted to impress. Whom? I cant imagine.

  2. Cash

    60 grand in late fees? Yeah fuck that. Late fees are the biggest scam ever invented, next to Lost Movie fees. I can still recall the last time I ever rented a movie from a brick and mortar business. I picked up “A Goofy Movie” for my nephew to watch while he was spending the weekend, and through a mishap with a vacuum cleaner, the disk was scratched beyond repair. I went in with the disk and explained what happened, fully prepared to buy them a new copy, when the manager hits me with a $200 movie replacement fee. Furious, I drive a mile up the road to Walmart, and find a new copy in the family section for 5 bucks. Drive back to the movie place, slap the thing down on the counter in front of him, and say “We’re even. Charge my card, and I’ll see you in small claims court.”

    • Cash

      Side Note: LiLo received services and didn’t offer recompense? Who gives a shit? The Clintons still owe New York hundreds of thousands of dollars for their daughter’s marriage, but you don’t see anyone bitching about that, do you?

  3. Facebook Me

    Why and how is it, does she always seem to have her legs marked up with bruises and scrapes of some sort?

  4. anonymous

    so how much money are they going to compensate LL for suing her and gaining all this publicity off it? yesterday no one knew who the f*ck Elite Transportation Limo and Security Services was.

    Why didn’t they sue her a couple years ago when it was obvious payment wouldn’t be received. Why wait so long?

  5. no reasonable person in 2009 didn’t know lindsay’s a deadbeat. she should get off just on that technicality (in legalese, Elite didn’t have the mental capacity to enter into a contract.)

    you’re welcome, linds.

  6. Frank Burns

    Put her in jail, or on house arrest with a monitoring anklet, that will straighten her out! Right?!?

  7. SIN

    Its a Limo. I’m sure you can take it out in trade in the back .

  8. Deacon Jones

    Anyone ever been to Paris? The women are hot

    • yep, france was a beautiful melting pot. but today multiculturalism in more in melt*down* (i’m with bardot on the french heritage bit)

      • Jerri

        Everyone in Paris smells, and that includes all of their ugly women. Bridget Bardot and Catherine Denuve were the only cute ones that ever came out of France, and that’s only because of some nuclear fallout that turned them into cute mutants.

  9. Richard McBeef

    I always let the escorts and regular street hookers travel with me for free. So if you need a lift across town, linds…..

  10. Lindsay Lohan Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    NOT looking good here. When will she just OD and die?

    AFTER her lesbian sex tape?

  11. youuuuu got a rough problem

    The pope has a $200 driver and security package; he seems to be doing dandy to me.

    If they weren’t ashamed of the 6thou limo ride, why did they throw in free security?

  12. Venom

    Fuck these people they deserve nothing.
    If you are greedy enough to try to get double supposed actual amount in late fees and penalties, then you deserve to get nothing.
    This is usury.

    Interesting that you call her a “thieving freckled whore” and then you use her photos to make money….
    Did you pay her to use her photos to generate traffic and revenue for yourself?
    Did you pay any of the celebrities on here to use their images and likeness for this site?

    • Hey Hick Fuck You!

      Lindsay, quity bitching and PAY YOUR BIILS, you useless twat.

    • kegel drill instructor

      Did you pay to rant?

      LILO is low rent. That isn’t anyone’s fault but her own. If we can no longer ridicule the least desirable of our species we will all become freckled kleptomaniacs with uncontrollable desires for blow and red bull. That shit is basically in the bible – I’m talking old testament here before any scholars challenge that interpretation.

    • Jerri

      Venom is a stupid troll. Go to her fan page and leave The Superficial at once!

  13. TRON

    She looks like shit as a blonde

  14. imabrat

    Poor dear; she’s just so misunderstood.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    So many directions to go on this, but … exactly what does she think she’s accomplishing? She’s already wearing glasses to hide her eyes. And most people don’t even *care* about her eyes. If you intend to ruin photos for paps, hold it over your boobs, Linds.

    And if you’re trying to spare me personally, hold it over that travesty you’ve perpetrated on your mouth.

  16. Tootles

    Why are is the hairy hooker clan all over this site? Fuck that bitch looks like a troll next to her giant husband.

  17. Tootles


  18. Jerri

    She must be off of crack, she looks very fat.

  19. Rockem

    Um…how many times does she not pay before they stop picking her ass up?

  20. forrest gump

    there is only one option possible: SHE STOLE IT, folks!!

  21. pookiewookie

    She just needs to run for president because she is just as corrupt as all the politcians. She knows people in high placees already that help her escape from all her sentences. Shes still on the outside and it is obviously alright with the law to let her continue her crime sprees.

  22. daisy

    you are amazing at what you do. this post is a perfect example. love it!

  23. CranAppleSnapple

    I hope they repossess her new whoremobile. That would be an awesome episode of that Repo show.

  24. terry

    She looks nice and thick but I wouldn’t touch her snatch for nothin!!

  25. forrest gump

    I’m ashamed to say but this is the reason the united states of america are Bankrupt, Broke and so all the states have flat tires.
    …………….CALIFORNIA IN TOP SPOT, folks!!

  26. Lindsay Lohan Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    asian guy in the back
    *like omg i think its that famous prostitute i think her name was like julia roberts?

  27. Bobby

    This limo
    company doesn’t really have the right to charge Lindsey anything along those numbers. This is absolutely a scam and should be treated as such.

  28. Bobby

    She shouldn’t be required to pay back this limo company. This is absoutely a scam and should be treated as such.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Oh yeees, Bobby. She used their services and never paid them and should never HAVE to pay! Because they tricked HER!

  29. yawn

    $60k in late fees gimme a break..
    people do not pay late fees and penalties.

  30. CranAppleSnapple

    Fish, have you seen her jacked-up maw? Her teeth are all chipped and brown! God, I’m so nauseated.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Paris
    B L Zebubba
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute outfit.

  32. Lindsay Lohan Paris
    Commented on this photo:


  33. Lindsay Lohan Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    I know she’s unhappy… and I could probably help her… but no… I’m just some no-name chick.

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