Oh, Good, Lindsay Lohan Probably Works For Putin, Too

Lindsay Lohan was in Russia not too long ago, and a guy who’s in Putin’s pocket was just elected president, so I’m going out on a limb here and say we should probably expect more stories like this. TMZ reports:

A 24-year-old man told Vegas Metro cops … 2 men came into his room at the Excalibur last month, took him in the bathroom and asked if he’d been talking smack on LiLo … this according to a police report obtained by TMZ.
The man says he denied saying a peep about Lindsay, but the Russians beat him to a pulp anyway. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. So, what’s his connection to Lindsay?
The alleged victim tells us he met her at Coachella back in April. As for why 2 random Russian dudes tracked him down 6 months later in a different state — he thinks they recognized him from Coachella.

For the record, TMZ reports the guy stopped cooperating with the police and Lindsay’s camp denies the whole thing, which they do for everything, so I don’t know why even I mentioned that part. What’s important right now is we figure out how to get the 1,300+ posts about Lindsay off the site before the Kremlin finds out how many dicks I’ve accused of her sucking (all of them) and Keri Russell kills me to the tune of “Tusk.” I’ve seen The Americans. YOUR WIGS WON’T FOOL ME!

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Photos: Hunger Magazine