Lindsay Lohan Has Eyes For Putin Now

Like that other orange terror who has the potential to be the death of us all, Lindsay Lohan wants to get close to Vladimir Putin to the point where she’s putting it in her list of demands for Russian TV shows that want to interview her about Egor Tarabasov. Because if the Dina Lohan School of Show Business taught Lindsay anything it’s always be sucking. TMZ reports:

Our Russian spies got us a copy of Channel 1’s letter to Lindsay, in which they say, “Please send the list of demands.”
Lindsay sent her demands alright …

– a private jet

– security

– 1 year Russian visa with extension

– 500,000 British pounds

– hair, makeup and manicurist onboard jet

– Ritz-Carlton penthouse suite

Oh, and one other thing. She wants to meet with President Vladimir Putin and get photos with him.

According to TMZ, some of these have been met while others are being negotiated, so I’m going to take a stab in the dark at the final tally:

– a private jet Nyet

– security Nyet, velcome to Russia

– 1 year Russian visa with extension Who think she is? Edward Snowman?

– 500,000 British pounds 10 rubels, vinal offer

– hair, makeup and manicurist onboard jet There ees old makeup een drawer, she may use one. One!

– Ritz-Carlton penthouse suite You sleep in belly of bear. It varm.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, do Russians really write in a horribly stereotypical accent? And, yes, of course they do. Don’t be racist.

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