Apparently We’re Supposed To Believe Lindsay Lohan Is Pregnant
First things first, yup, those are cigarettes in Lindsay Lohan’s hand, which are a really neat touch when your dad’s out there trying to convince everyone you’re really pregnant and not just someone who says crazy shit on Twitter. “I love seeing an imaginary child geting fucked up in real time,” people are always saying. Page Six reports:
Lindsay Lohan announced her pregnancy to her father Michael Lohan via text, and wrote, “Daddy, I’m pregnant.”
Michael exclusively told “Page Six TV” on Wednesday, “She texted it to me and told me … I don’t know [how far along she is].”
But her father insists he believes her. “She tells me she is and I have no reason not to believe her … I was a little bit taken aback, but it was to be expected. She’s 30 years old. She wants to have babies. She loves kids. She’s had relationships with people in the past who have children and she’s very close to them. She’s got a very maternal instinct.”
Lindsay Lohan has a “very maternal instinct.” Wow, holy shit. Do I even need to write another joke here? Because I honestly don’t think I have the chops to top that. I know my limits.