Lindsay Lohan Claims She Lives in Poverty

July 21st, 2011 // 48 Comments

Aww, it’s nice that the people who work at the court like this tenderly old bailiff have become like family to her. “Hey, how ya doin’, sweetheart? Always a pleashah.” *smooch*

Roughly every four weeks Lindsay Lohan is hauled into court so she’s made aware of exactly how much shit she can constantly get away with which was, of course, the case this afternoon when it was revealed she’s barely even trying to complete her community service. On top of that, she hasn’t enrolled in counseling and claims she’s too poor to afford it because her SAG insurance ran out. Granted, I believe that last part because that’s what happens to unhireable drug addicts, keep in mind Lindsay lives in Venice Beach and drives luxury vehicles because only an asshole would run over a baby with anything less than a Maserati. RadarOnline reports:

But what Lindsay had not yet started was her psychological counseling which her lawyer Shawn Holley informed the court was because her hard-up client could not afford it.
This despite the 25-year-old actress arriving in court in $1,200 Christian Louboutin heels and renting a multi-million dollar home in Venice.
Holley said that because Lindsay’s SAG insurance had lapsed, she could not afford to pay for one-on-one counseling and that group counseling was out of the question for fear that others would sell her out to the media.

At this point, I shit you not, the judge asked if Lindsay knew of someone with a credit card who could front the cash which I like to believe caused a full hour of laughter after someone suggested she ask her parents for the money. Anyway, Lindsay’s lawyer said they’d find a way to foot the bill, so you can only imagine how that’s gonna happen:

JUDGE: Will your client be able to enroll in counseling by the end of the month or not, Ms. Holley?
SHAWN: Just a moment, your honor. *whispers to Lindsay* You know what you need to do, right?
LINDSAY: *pantomimes giving head*
SHAWN: We’re good, your honor.

Photo: Getty, Splash News


  1. cdub

    First it nice.

    • BenDoverman

      Sheriff Pigosa: How would you like your coffee Miz Lohan?
      LiLo: Black you imbecile! And make sure to dump a full ashtray innit bioche!

  2. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    In this photograph, Miss Lohan is thinking to herself, “COKE! COKE! COKE! COKE! COKE!”

  3. DrunkRussian

    We need to give Casey Anthony a roll of duct tape, introduce her to LiLo and let nature take its course.

  4. cc

    Once again, I return to my fervent belief in alternate sentencing. Apart from previous suggestions about ‘breasts’, I can think of a way to work off her fines at a rate of $2 a shot.

  5. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Boobies FTMFW!

  6. i like to pretend that hot girls don’t have BM’s. i don’t find lindsay or kim kardashian to be attractive women. my question is, who has the more pungent corn wagon? lindsay (due to all around neglect, poor hygiene, booze and coke?) or kim (due to a physical inability to properly clean her her massive ass)?

    • I would say Kim has the stench of 1,000 camels leaking out of her ass every day for one simple fact. The bitch eats…..and well by the look of her.
      Lindsay survives on a diet of whiskey, cigarettes, crack and semen….but maybe not in that order. I find it hard to believe if she has a bowel movement more than once a month. I figure 99% of the time her asshole is used for getting the rent money each month.

      • Richard McBeef

        They both eat their own waste products so it would be tough to get samples for comparison.

      • mel

        lindsay’s balloon knot probably looks like a rejected california raisin singer and her turds are most likely the size of a hamster’s tic tac-like shits. i guess kim would win the stink contest.

      • mel

        on a related note, i’ve had my nose milimetres away from 3 (slim) korean anuses and 1 japanese anus as i lapped their vadges and yet…no stink whatsoever! what’s the deal with asian girls? their vadges (though mightily hairy) didn’t hold any aroma (pleasant or offensive) at all! i, for one, was impressed. the hottest non asian gal i’ve ever had the pleasure of eating had a little stench…not bad… just regular. what’s with asian gals and their scentless a trains and vadges? and as an aside, one of the koreans i dated used to “log out”, wipe her a train, and place the toilet paper daintily in my bathroom’s garbage can! apparently, in korea, toilet paper isn’t flushed down the toilet. they just throw it away!

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Well, thank you Mel, I now have to go puke for three hours.

  7. herbiefrog

    poor girl needs help

    fish could start a fund ? : ))

  8. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice herpes you got there Lindsay.

  9. Nate

    Bull shit! bull shit! bull shit! Bitch has money. Tons! Also she has been acting so her SAG coverage should be kicking back in.

  10. Richard McBeef

    Her sag insurance got dropped because of a prexisting condition.

  11. herbiefrog

    hey nate, you are right, sag should still keep medical coverage for more time, you cant keep go switching in and out [really a post for nikkie ?

  12. Lindsay Lohan Court
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    i want the version of this where she is crying

  13. great tits! in case you missed the last post…

  14. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    but she has an awesome rack.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Her sag insurance ran out? So that’s what happened to her titties.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Uri gonder Gichee
    Commented on this photo:

    I know a way she can earn $5

  17. Linda

    Wow, an insurance that actually pays for a shrink! Wonder if there is eye and dental too? OMG, thought this was America or maybe this is Canada…..just sayin’…………..Good luck Lindsay with paying for an L.A. psychtherapist!

  18. Ed

    Damn Lindsay Lohan, wasting all that Cali taxpayer money when they need it to feed Octomom’s 14 kids!

  19. Boo Hoo

    Her SAG Medical Ins. ran out, well, I think they offer COBRA like all of the Guilds do. She’s irresponsible and cheap. I’ve had to go on COBRA many times in my life, and sure the full payment is more than her previous free coverage, but with her coke habit no wonder she can’t afford to pay for it. Her lawyer is really a loose cannon, and both of them should be sent away for fraud.

    • Sure, why not add fraud to the list of crimes Lindsay has committed but in no way been punished for.

    • LJ

      Since she worked on Machete in the fall of 2009 she would have qualified to partake of the top tier SAG plan (minimum earnings $29,000) for all of 2010.

      SAG’s COBRA runs for 18 months.

      Her Health Insurance probably lapsed because she stopped making her monthly payments.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s zeroed-in on the one flake of coke left in that woman’s nostril from 1985.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s starting to remind me of this guy:

  22. the captain

    she hates to say it: BUT SHE HAS TO!!
    ………SHE’S BROKE, folks!!

  23. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet Jesus those are beautiful.

  24. Clarence Beeks

    Her rent is 10k a month…..asshole needs to live in a much cheaper apt, stop shopping, and get her ass to a therapist.

    Fucking asshole is what she is.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Attorney: “Oh fuck, I can’t make up for Lindsay’s slack this time. We’re screwed.”
    Lindsay: “Oh fuck, I forgot my Twitter password.”

  26. Lindsay Lohan Court
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “I beat it to the Parent Trap.”

  27. Lindsay Lohan Court
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think they’re buying this shit?

  28. Inmate 12236969

    Should be a law you can only be a cop if you look down and can see your dick.

  29. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Uri onder Gichee
    Commented on this photo:

    My life would be complete if I could blast my seed into her colon.

  30. Lindsay Lohan Court
    B L Zebubba
    Commented on this photo:


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